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post #16 of 24 (permalink) Old 01-01-2013, 10:53 AM
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Re: Should I do a paternity test

When a child loses a parent, after years of attachment to the parent it causes the child permanent emotional harm. No child should suffer this.

This is so true! @ 14, my H was told by his mom during one of her frequent angry outbursts, that the man he'd called 'dad' was not his bio dad. H still went to live with his 'dad' but the relationship from that point on was forever changed for my H. I found H's bio dad a few years ago, they did do paternity testing, and are now building their relationship.

This kind of emotional manipulation, whether to an adult or child, is just plain evil. What I can tell you is this: stick by your son's side; continue loving him; in every sense of the word, DNA aside, you are his Dad. And when all is said and done, the relationship that will suffer most is the one stirring the pot; in your case, that would be your exwife.

Please know you and your son are in my prayers. Hope he's feeling better soon.


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post #17 of 24 (permalink) Old 01-01-2013, 10:33 PM
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Re: Should I do a paternity test

D4life, you sound like an extraordinary Man and Father to feel as strongly as you do, just reading your posts here is very touching.

I've watched a # of those "Maury" Paternity Test shows in the past...(they hype that up so bad)....where men are Jumping for joy the kid isn't theirs... laughing in the face of the woman.... then you get some who are torn to pieces when they learn the child is not theirs/ or that they are the Father.... now those are the Real men, worthy of the term "Father".

I really feel the laws need changed in favor of men to protect themselves from some of these situations though...( if the wife was unfaithful)... they get a divorce & he has to pay for the rest of his life...I do find it a terrible injustice. I feel the wife should reap those costs herself. I know it's not the child's fault though...this is what get's lost in this mess when people are unfaithful to each other......

But it is so very inspiring to see men like yourself feel as strongly as you do..in the face of this.

Your son is very blessed!! Whatever he is going through, Prayers with you.



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post #18 of 24 (permalink) Old 01-01-2013, 11:49 PM
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Re: Should I do a paternity test

Quote:
Originally Posted by heavensangel View Post
When a child loses a parent, after years of attachment to the parent it causes the child permanent emotional harm. No child should suffer this.

This is so true! @ 14, my H was told by his mom during one of her frequent angry outbursts, that the man he'd called 'dad' was not his bio dad. H still went to live with his 'dad' but the relationship from that point on was forever changed for my H. I found H's bio dad a few years ago, they did do paternity testing, and are now building their relationship.

This kind of emotional manipulation, whether to an adult or child, is just plain evil. What I can tell you is this: stick by your son's side; continue loving him; in every sense of the word, DNA aside, you are his Dad. And when all is said and done, the relationship that will suffer most is the one stirring the pot; in your case, that would be your exwife.

Please know you and your son are in my prayers. Hope he's feeling better soon.
How sad that the relationship between your husband and the man who raised him suffered.

When we adopted our son I did a lot of reading on adoption. One thing that was clear is that it's important to tell a child the truth from day one. When they find out later .. usually in their teens or early adulthood, the new knowledge causes a lot of trouble.

The suggest was to talk him being adopted as a fact, just like the color of his hair is a fact.

We did that from day one. I even found some really nice children's books that talked about adoption. We have never had any issues with our son about his adoption.
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post #19 of 24 (permalink) Old 01-02-2013, 12:10 AM
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Re: Should I do a paternity test

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Originally Posted by SimplyAmorous View Post
I really feel the laws need changed in favor of men to protect themselves from some of these situations though...( if the wife was unfaithful)... they get a divorce & he has to pay for the rest of his life...I do find it a terrible injustice. I feel the wife should reap those costs herself. I know it's not the child's fault though...this is what get's lost in this mess when people are unfaithful to each other......
Women who knowingly do that should be looking at many years in prison.
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post #20 of 24 (permalink) Old 01-03-2013, 08:41 AM
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Re: Should I do a paternity test

Quote:
Originally Posted by SimplyAmorous View Post
D4life, you sound like an extraordinary Man and Father to feel as strongly as you do, just reading your posts here is very touching.

I really feel the laws need changed in favor of men to protect themselves from some of these situations though...( if the wife was unfaithful)... they get a divorce & he has to pay for the rest of his life...I do find it a terrible injustice. I feel the wife should reap those costs herself. I know it's not the child's fault though...this is what get's lost in this mess when people are unfaithful to each other......
Thank you, but I am actually a mom. It's hard to tell by my user name though.

I also agree with you that the laws need to change in favor of men to protect them. I never really thought about it much, but now that I have a son I would be beyond livid if a woman did this to him.
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post #21 of 24 (permalink) Old 10-12-2016, 03:46 PM
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Re: Should I do a paternity test

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Originally Posted by larry.gray View Post
This doesn't apply to the OP since he mentioned he is in Canada, but FYI:

That was one true but is no longer in 47 states. In the last decade men's rights groups have been very effective in getting the law changed due to the wide availability of DNA paternity testing and the injustice of just what you are describing.
I live in NY. My husband is currently going through something similar. His ex cheated on him during their marriage. During the time their son was conceived, they had no intimate moments. Now, (after three years divorced) she's going after him for child support. He brought up to his lawyer that he questions whether he's bio dad or not. His lawyer told him since he was married when the child was conceived, he is "presumed" to be the dad. He asked if he could do a paternity test and she said the only way he could, is if the other potential dad wanted to know. Being that the other man has no idea, my husband will never know if he's bio dad and will always be financially responsible for the boy. And the only way a paternity test can be done (from what I've been told) is with an order from the court or by doctors request.
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post #22 of 24 (permalink) Old 10-12-2016, 04:05 PM
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Re: Should I do a paternity test

I've had lots of experience with things that women say just to get you mad. Personally, I think that saying that one of your children is not yours is a little out of bounds but for some women, nothing is out of bounds. I'm fairly sure that she's just saying this based on the information in your post.

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post #23 of 24 (permalink) Old 10-12-2016, 05:08 PM
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Re: Should I do a paternity test

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Welcome to forums, Jessica. You are posting on a thread that was last posted in January 3, 2013. The OP is long gone.
You are welcoming a spammer who is not only posting links to commercial websites on every post but also being more annoying by bumping old threads.

The spammer has been reported by yours truly so no need for anyone else to do it.
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post #24 of 24 (permalink) Old 10-12-2016, 05:21 PM
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Re: Should I do a paternity test

Thank you.

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http://mygeneralblog1.blogspot.co.uk...-cheaters.html (Be afraid UK cheaters! CheaterVille has come to the UK!
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