I am married for almost 10 years now. My wife was initially a "moderate/liberal" Christian, now turned born again fundamentalist 2 years ago. I am Buddhist. We have a lovely daughter who is almost 8 years old now. We have been searching for another child for a few years without success so far.
My dilemma stems from her religious beliefs and the education she will give (and is currently giving) to our children. Essentially, born-again fundamentalists Christians value a lot of things that are diametrically opposed to my own views. They value blind faith, I value investigation. They constantly jump on the less likely explanation (Jesus healed me from my cold because I prayed), I value rationality (I stayed at home and I recovered from the cold natually).
They ignore uncomfortable facts that go against their beliefs, I value truth above comfort even if it means you have to change your views. They value blindly the words of an old book, I value following what your heart says. They say everything comes either from God or from the Devil, I value personal responsibility. They say you can't be anything without God, that you are worthless without God, I value the humanity in people.
She speaks in tongues and goes into trances. She cries, weeps and shouts when praying, and of course she is 100% certain to be right and that all who do not follow the same path as hers are lost. She is proud of her intolerance and take it as a sign of her faith, I think people of different faiths should not judge each others. She believes the Earth was created 6000 years ago, but when I probe her a bit on the subject, she does not understand a thing about the science behind it.
For living with such a person in the same house, I can honestly say that it really looks like insanity to me. If it was not because of the 'Christian' label and the political correctness expected towards religions, I am quite sure that psychiatrists would classify such behaviours as heavily deluded.
In essence, I feel uncomfortable having more children with her because they might follow this path of blind belief and non-sense madness. I feel it is also my responsibility as a future father to check the environment my children will grow up in. I want my children to value truth, personal responsibility, non-discrimination, being honest with oneself and having confidence in one's abilities. I don't want my children to live in a parallel universe and deny truths and facts they see in front of them for the sake of clinging to blind beliefs. I don't want my children to blindly believe a book or a priest without checking the facts. I want my children to use their grey matter to the full, not to throw it in the bin. That's where I have an ethical problems having more children with her; that's about 6 months I really have some doubts about having more children with her.
Already my daughter is giving signs of not being able to apply the same judgement criteria to Christianity. She is perfectly happy to dismiss some fancy stories around the Buddha's birth (which I think is the right thing to do), but believe literally that Paul was feeding on locusts and wild honey.
Our daughter is already attending a Christian school, which I am sort of OK with. My wife is talking now of doing some home schooling, and I know she started to look at Christian-specific curriculum... That's sending some shivers done my spine...
I know she really wants more children. And my parents too, they want more grand-children... I know having more children will be a happy event in the beginning, but there is a strong possibility of it turning sour.
I would appreciate some external point of view. It always helps to have other perspectives on a certain situation.
Thank you very much for any help!
Last edited by metta; 01-23-2013 at 05:32 AM.