Would you let your 14 year old do this?
Ok I just want to say Im not creating this thread to bash anyone, I just have my own opinion on this matter and I'm curious to see how many others agree with me.
First, Id like to give you a little background info on my husband. His mom and dad had him when they were in their early 20s, and then a couple years later they had my husband's brother. His parents stayed married for close to 10 years and then ended up getting a divorce.
Well, shortly after that, my husband's dad met a woman. She already had two kids herself (two girls), she had been married 3 times, and she was only in her late 20s/early 30s. My husband's dad ended up marrying her, and they ended up having two kids together. First they had a girl, then a few years later had a boy, which are my husband's half siblings.
They stayed married for a long time, surprisingly... I believe it was 15-20 years. Eventually I guess she got sick of him and kicked him out. It wasnt long after that and she had already found another man and got married to him. And youll never believe how they met! She worked as a nurse at a prison... and this guy was an inmate. They didnt stay married long... Not long after that, she met another guy, and Im not sure if they got married or if he just lived with her.... in any case, they ended up splitting up, just like all the others... and if Im not mistaken, shes with another guy currently, and Ive seen him refer to her as his "wife" on facebook, so apparently theyre married. So this makes how many times that shes been married? Six? Seven? I dont know I lost count. Anyway a couple years ago she was dating this guy that she met in prison, and she actually ended up getting caught, and lost her job over it... and now she isnt allowed to work for the state anymore... so I dont know where she is working at the moment but I have to say, I think it was a pretty dumb decision to risk losing your job for some guy, especially when you have kids to support. So as you can tell, this woman isnt very stable and she makes some really bad choices... and as a result of it, her kids have had all sorts of problems. A few years ago her daughter was having all sorts of problems, she was sneaking out of the house to be with boys, she thought she was pregnant at 13 (but apparently wasnt), and most likely the reason she was acting that way is because she saw her mom hopping from one guy to the next, and it set a bad example.
Well now, her son (my husbands half brother) is getting into those teenage years. He is 14 now, and hes starting to act out too. Last summer him and his dad came over to visit us and I was shocked when I saw him pull out a cigarette, light it and start puffing on it. Apparently my husbands dad buys him the cigarettes because he says that if he doesn't buy them for him, hes just going to end up stealing them from someone and he'll end up with them anyway. Currently my father in law and his son live with my husband's stepsister... well I guess shes his ex stepsister now that his dad and stepmom arent married anymore... but anyway, she smokes, and my husbands dad says that if he doesnt buy the cigarettes, his kid will just steal them from the stepsister, and then the stepsister will be jumping all over my husband's dad about it... so his solution is to just buy them for him!
Not only that but apparently he smokes weed too, and my husbands dad does nothing about that either. When they were here visiting, we were all riding in the car together and my husbands brother said to his dad "Dad... do you remember that time so and so came over, and he brought that bag of weed... I wasnt sure if you saw it or not".... and his dad was like "yea... I saw it".. that wasnt the exact conversation but it was something like that.
Heres my opinion. You can't control your kids all the time... now matter how hard you try there are going to be times when you cant be there to watch their every move... So yea, your kid might still end up getting some cigarettes or some weed from someone... but Im for damn sure not going to make it easy for him by buying the cigarettes for him myself. In my opinion, all hes doing is enabling him, and chances are, hes already hooked on it and he'll be one of those people thats having health problems later on down the road because of it. My husbands dad even tells my husband things like "I wish he would stop"... and im like wth?! Hes 14 years old.... hes a child, you still have authority over him. If you dont want him doing something, dont allow it.... or like I said, at least dont make it easy for him to do these things. Theres no way in hell hes going to stop if he knows that if he wants a pack of cigarettes, its as easy as just saying "hey dad go get me some ciggs!". Why would he stop??
Whats your opinion?
Last edited by kittykatz; 02-26-2013 at 02:45 AM.