Trouble potty training

Ladybug.06 · 07-31-2009, 06:25 PM

I am so frustrated, potty training my son has been so difficult! I started potty training him when he was 2 1/2 after a couple of months I decided he wasn't ready yet so I layed off for a couple of months I tried again when he was 3 yrs. 1 month or so and finally succeed after a month of training him, he was finally going to the restroom without accidents (except overnight - he was never overnight trained) - but in the last month or so (he's now 3 1/2) he has been peeing in his underwear everyday 3 or more times a day. I don't know what to do anymore, I tried everything from acting like it's not a big deal to putting him in time out or not allowing him to go outside to play to buying rewards like cars if he goes pee in the toilet. I need to get him potty trained - I also have a 2 yr. old and I'm so tierd of changing dirty diapers and underwear! I don't know what happened he was already potty trained....

amberlynn · 07-31-2009, 06:37 PM

my husbands cousin is havin the same problem with her 3 year old. She said shes makin him stand up all day and if he wants to sit down she makes him sit on the potty. He'll go pee in the potty but still messes in his pants. If he's inside he'll go to bathroom, but if hes outside playin with other kids, he'll got hide and mess in his pants knowing hes gonna get a spanking. I know your frustation..im tryin to get mine off the bottle.. and hes about to turn 2... he'll tell me when he has to go, he'll sit on his potty and wont do nothin, but as soon as i put a diaper on him, he fills it up..just hang in there..

Sensitive · 08-01-2009, 12:47 AM

I tried a lot of potty training methods for my two boys. I failed miserably with my first son, because I was pressuring him too much to train before the baby came. We had major meltdowns, and we even ended up seeing a psychologist to get him to stop pooping in his pants at age 5.

With my second son, I did Potty Training in 3 Days. We called the intensive training a "Potty Party." The basic idea is to follow him all day, he must wear cloth underwear and overload him with liquids. All day, ask him, "If you need to go potty, where do you go?" Be prepared to carry him to the bathroom if needed to get him to recognize when he needs to potty. I was pleasantly surprised that he caught on so quickly. He rarely had any accidents. If he did, I will ask him to go change his pants himself, and I would remind him of where to go.

Good luck.

GAsoccerman · 08-01-2009, 09:12 AM

where are your husbands on this? Potty training is not a woman's job alone, it is a team effort.

We offered rewards and praise for got potty work. High fives candy, etc.

Also we my sons they would go to the bathroom with me, I would show them how cool it was to stand peeing standing up.

look for the tell signs of potty then move into action, never make potty negative, always positive when they perform.

I child loves to please their parents being overly negative on this subject is hard on them, they feel they are letting you down and being bad.

praise from the whole family when a job well done. It takes a village to raise a child.

My oldest boy went to the bathroom with me once when out and I peed in a urinal and made loops and had fun...he thought it was GREAT! he was hooked and wanted to have "fun" as opposed to wet pants.

be creative.

GAsoccerman · 08-01-2009, 09:13 AM

try having them pee on cheerios in the bowl, it works. tell them here is some cheerios ONLY throw them in and pee on them. he'll love it.

Sandy55 · 08-02-2009, 02:16 AM

Did three day method with all four of mine.

Key is to take three days, stay HOME, and do NOTHING but watching the kid's signals.

One at 2 (girl)
One at 2.75 (boy)
One at 2 (girl)
One at 3 (boy - my last and yes, it was ME and not the kid

he was my last bayyyyybeeeee....sniff, sniff

)

GA: The cheerios worked well for the boys, but the girls just did not get the concept of "aiming"

........

I also found that if two people are going to do this, they MUST be as consistent about "the technique" they are using as possible, otherwise the kid gets confused...

Sandy55 · 08-02-2009, 02:19 AM

HINT:
Boys must be TAUGHT to "pee neat and put down the seat" it doesn't come natural.

Actually, we used "Pee neat, and put down the seat" as a little "ditty" for the boys, am proud: ALL men put the seat down in our house....kind gentlemen they all be.

Well, that AND "If Mommy ain't happy, ain't nobody happy..."

DeniseK · 08-02-2009, 05:04 PM

Trained my first one at 2 1\2....second boy trained in two days ...no joke..didn't even need pull ups. He was 2.....my third tried at 2...2 1\2 and then finally succeeded around 3. He was just immature ......still a baby in a lot of aspects.

Punishment never works with potty training. But sometimes...if you are going through marital problems...it can set a child back...even older kids can wet the bed....much older kids. So have you considered that? It could be a source.

You might try making it a competition...didn't you say you also have a two year old....are you training him\her yet?

Praise is the only way to go....or on occasion...competition....."come on....brother \ sister needs to train....lets show her \ him how it is done...." Get him to help you train the other child and he will want to do it too. At 3 and 1\2...a child can understand that.

But don't fret. It's just a milestone....and they are only small once...dont' try to fit them in a perfect box....they are your children....no one else loves them...not like you do. So don't get frustrated. Kids can smell fear.

And if it continues.....then ask the pediatritian....if it's psychological and he just won't potty train....then you might can get help. AS a last resort...I truely believe that. Discipline is fine with me....but only if it is out of love....So love him big no matter what.....and I know you do.

Chin up....one day this kid will be graduating and you'll have a chance at sweet revenge....potty training stories. Just something to make you laugh....good luck.

separatednsad · 08-02-2009, 10:59 PM

I agree my 3 yaer old recently potty trained just before her third b-day and YES marital problems play a major role and also speech as long as you can effectively explain to your tot the pros of potty training and all the cool underwear they can get,the more responsibility the better toys they can can recieve theres a good chance that he will cross over. Also my friend had a hard time with her son and she said one of those cute little urinals did the trick. MAYBE? good luck

Sandy55 · 08-02-2009, 11:32 PM

Last month Dr. Phil did a potty training episode about a little boy who was 4 and liked Tommy the Train (I think it was...).

I had a girlfriend once who would SPANK her son for pooping his pants, he was under 3.

Never spank for potty training accidents. Kids are easier to potty train than puppies...and puppies aren't that hard.

DeniseK · 08-03-2009, 12:10 AM

True....and what an accomplishment in a long..long line of milestones....tears. I wish I could go back and potty train again....my oldest is a freshman.....youngest in kindegarten.....crying with every milestone we reach. Oh how i love being a mommy.

Makeitworkifican · 09-01-2009, 09:17 AM

My daughter is just over 4 and is still pooping in her pants. I have tried everything even stuff I'm not proud of. She still hide it and seems to backlog and not do anything for a few days and then it's non stop little bits. I truly believe that it has everything to do with the marital problems between my hubby and me. Do any of you think this is the case? I just wish he could see it.

WarmFront · 12-28-2009, 11:42 AM

I completely understand your situation having gone through it myself Ladybug.

Unfortunately, when you have a second child that starts potty training, the older child will sometimes 'revert' and start acting out doing things to gain your attention to the current situation (i.e. toilet training) because he/she feels that they are not getting enough attention in that area. Other times, the older child will simply repeat the actions of the younger child as a social response to the potty training.

That would explain the peeing in the underwear all the time. My oldest who was 3 at the time started wetting his underwear and peeing on the floor (ugh memories) when we first started potty training our second child.

What helped us was "The Potty Training Answer Book" by "Karen Deerwester". It helped answer a LOT of questions that we had in dealing with the peeing and the potty training.

Very important though, using force or punishment on the older child when he/she pees their pants will only make them do it again. In my experience, it makes them hide the action because they associate the accident with being 'bad' and will pee or poop their pants as a form of temper tantrum or just hide the evidence all together.

I fished out quite a few pairs of underwear from inside and behind the toilet until I got this book lol.

I hope this helps! Good luck!

swedish · 12-30-2009, 01:05 PM

I do agree that some will 'revert' when a younger sibling comes along. My eldest saw my nephew in big boy barney underwear and that's all it took...I bought him some and he went on the potty...I wondered why they called it 'training'?! Then I had 2 more children

My mom died when my eldest was 3 and he reverted...wet his pants for a few weeks...but then was fine again.

My other 2...I did a potty chart...they would get a star when they used the potty and when they filled so many stars, they got a trip to chuck-e-cheese...that helped with the daytime, both took a while at night...so I tried no liquids a few hours before bedtime and make sure they went before bed...this helped with some successes vs. nightly failures.

My middle son I finally told him they don't make diapers for 4 year olds and he would need to use the potty or try to fit in the 3 yr old diapers when he turned 4...don't know if that is good parenting advice but he needed to be potty trained for daycare and it did end up working!