My husband hates my daughter
Help! I've only been married six months, and already we're in trouble. My first husband died from cancer in 2006, and I re-married what I thought was a good guy in 2/2009. He and my 16-year old daughter started off badly, and I regret marrying him because I should've known better, but I really don't want to get divorced. He is much more strict than I am, and somewhat contolling too. My daughter has slowly adjusted, but it's still hard for her. I've put her through a lot of changes, and I feel bad for her. Yes, she is lazy and sometimes disrespectful, but she's not all bad (Typical teenage stuff). He expects her to be perfect and come groveling to him after he has called her names like "ritard". He has two teen daughters of his own, but they know he loves them. He can be hard on them, but they've grown up with him. He says every time he's nice to my daughter, she's "abusive" back. It's more like her defenses are up after the way he treats her. He doesn't see his own faults. I've told him I refuse to pick between the two of them, and he says someday I might have to. I think not!
He has a temper, and my late husband didn't have any, so I wonder at this point what I was thinking. I would like to get counseling, and I don't know if he's willing to, but what should I do in the meantime? I don't think all hope is lost, but there's not much right now, that's for sure. Thanks.