Dan's side: 2nd marriage housing expense conflict
Linda and I met at a single's dance. Both of us had been single for 10 years. I called Linda for a date that was accepted. On the 1st date I was disappointed to learn Linda was a smoker. Linda indicated she wanted to quit so we dated again. On the 3rd date we both indicated to each other we were looking for a life long partner. In an attempt to be up front I indicated I had 3 items or needs I was looking for in a mate. I wanted a non-smoker, a Christian and I wanted to live in the house I owned. With these guidelines in place we continued to date and eventually married.
Our problems is finances. Linda has her own revocable living trust (I am not a part of) and I have my own revocable living trust (she is not a part of). Linda owns 9 rental units and her home that she moved from which she rents (mostly debt free). I own my home and 4 rental units (mostly debt free).
We are both retired.
Linda's portfolio is larger than mine. My portfolio was larger than Linda's, but remodeling my home ($55,000) before we moved in (my cost) and with a down stock market, my portfolio became smaller, but both are OK.
Both Linda and I pay our own maintenance cost on our properties (nothing is shared).
1.) I am asking Linda to share the living cost of the home we live in. 1/2 of the cost is $240.00 per month (includes taxes, insurance, utilities etc.).
Is this right?
2.) I am also asking Linda to share $160.00 per month of the profits she makes from her 10 rental units.
Is this right?
My thinking being, should I decide to rent my home and pocket the profits, which would be a minimum of $4,500.00/year. We would then have to rent or buy something together which would cost us much more the $400.00 per month that I am asking Linda to share.
3.) I know it appears I, or we, are putting finances ahead of our love for one another. I do not feel this is the case. I love Linda. I try to do favors for her on her rentals, I wash my own clothes and I clean the kitchen every morning. I also help with the cooking. I feel the request I am making for her to share is fair and honest.
Am I right or wrong?
It would be nice if some men would respond. Linda put her side of the problem on the forum (Posted 11-8-09), only women responded.
Please respond. Thanks.