iceit4me

I am posting this to see if anyone might have some insight to my situation. My H is a plumber and he work 1 1/2 hour away from the house every day as that is where his customers are. He is self-employed. Recently he has opened 3 new bank accounts and did this without my fore knowing or even mentioning that he was going to do this. I found out about them and asked him why he did this and he said that it makes it easier to cash checks that he gets from his customers. I asked if he put them i my name too and he said no. I don't understand why he didn't put them in my name too since he gives me the check cards from these banks and expects me to use the for groceries and various items. He has been acting "fishy" lately too. He has been going into work earlier and coming home later. I no longer have a car that is working so I have to use his car some days and he takes the truck to work. The truck uses alot more gas than the car and he has a long commute, but I am left with no other choice than to ask to borrow the car a few days a week. He is getting upset with me asking for it because he has to switch all his tools from on vehicle to the other for his work. Gees, I feel bad enough about it. We can afford another car for me. However, he is not interested in going car shopping for me. Instead he went to Home Depot and spent over a thousand dollars on a new barbeque grill we didn't need (we already have one that works) one and tools. Without consulting with me first. I aske d him why he didn't ask me about getting this stuff and he said that he got it because I wasn't with him. Duh! He made a selfish impuse buy that was very expensive! Uggh! I'm pissed! My birthday was about a mounth ago. All that day I waited for him to acknowledge it was my birthday and NOTHING. If fact, 9:30 that night he asked me why my son bought me flowers and I said:" It's my birthday....'" He said: "**** is it? I totally forgot!" That was it! He never even made it up to me! I asked him why he didn't and he said; "Once you birthday's gone, oh well" Thats all the consideration I got., Uggh. My question is; Could he be having an affair? I did confront him on it once before and he got defensive and red in the face and said no. I don't know what to think. I am lonely and confused. Anyone have any suggestions?

turnera

Read the book Boundaries in Marriage by Cloud and Townsend.

iceit4me

Thanks, but I am desperate and don't have that much time. I will try to get the book. I am feeling so rejected and unloved.

turnera

Well, the problem isn't your husband, it's your acceptance of his actions. The book teaches you how to set boundaries and get him to understand WHY you are doing it. He will continue to misuse you as long as you LET him.