Dear All,
I really need your advice on this Subject as this is something I have had an issue over with my wife since last 2 years since we have been married.
We currently live in a flat share in London which is shared between us, her brother and a 3rd person.
Our Financial Situations are:
I earn £1200 per month. (My basic full time Job)
And I also have another part time (uncertain income from this self employment) which is variable. This is something I do in my free time and is something I would like to be able to do full time possibly in the future for better financial prospects – My Career Plan.
Out of which, I pay
1) As of now I am paying for our share of the Rent
2) Our share of Bills & other house hold expenses etc - Majority of them.
3) My travelling to work. (Normally TAXI – Reason: I work night shifts 12 hours from 8pm to 8am [4 on and 4 off] and when I come back from work I spend time working on and looking for other opportunities and my part time self employment. So by the time I go to bed it is almost noon or sometimes 1pm and then go to sleep for 5-6 hours and wake up at 7pm and go to work again. The only reason I take a taxi to work is because I AM TIRED and I TRY TO SLEEP TILL AS LATE AS I CAN TO GET ENOUGH REST and as I DO NOT WANT TO BE LATE TO WORK)
4) Occasionally going out Restaurants etc with wife and sometimes socialising with friends (if at all THIS IS only for networking purposes to get more work for myself employment)
5) PLEASE NOTE: I used to pay for a property I had bought 2 years prior to our marriage until 1 year and a half after our marriage – which she doesn’t want me to pay as this money according to her could be used for us so I have stopped paying for the last 6 months – Which she doesn’t want to believe.
And she earns: £1000 per month (Her Basic Full time Job)
Out of which, She pays
1) Her travelling to work.
2) She needs to support her family (brother) abroad financially.
3) And support her brother here who lives with us occasionally now and again with his Rent and other expenses (Reason: As he doesn’t have much luck everywhere he goes to work and has changed over 5 jobs in the last 2 years unfortunately.)
4) Rarely but only since recently in some house hold precisely grocery shopping from the Sainsbury’s.
5) Her monthly shopping for clothes etc (She loves fashion and clothes etc) and there hasn’t been a single month she doesn’t buy anything.
6) And I am not sure if something is left with her or no after all this. If at all there is she probably needs to support her Mom as well sometimes.
QUESTION:
1) Who is at wrong in this relationship and why?
2) Is it wrong for me to expect/ask for support from my ‘‘WIFE’’ in finances or is a wife?
3) And if I do earn some extra money from my other work which is not regular (self employment) in my free time; do I don’t have the right to keep this for my Parents (Retired and Aged like hers as well) for my personal aspirations, for emergencies, for spending on myself or even if I pay for a financial commitment – my property – which I am into 2years prior to our marriage is there anything wrong in that?
4) What is your advice for us as a couple and for me?
I really need your advice on this Subject as this is something I have had an issue over with my wife since last 2 years since we have been married.
We currently live in a flat share in London which is shared between us, her brother and a 3rd person.
Our Financial Situations are:
I earn £1200 per month. (My basic full time Job)
And I also have another part time (uncertain income from this self employment) which is variable. This is something I do in my free time and is something I would like to be able to do full time possibly in the future for better financial prospects – My Career Plan.
Out of which, I pay
1) As of now I am paying for our share of the Rent
2) Our share of Bills & other house hold expenses etc - Majority of them.
3) My travelling to work. (Normally TAXI – Reason: I work night shifts 12 hours from 8pm to 8am [4 on and 4 off] and when I come back from work I spend time working on and looking for other opportunities and my part time self employment. So by the time I go to bed it is almost noon or sometimes 1pm and then go to sleep for 5-6 hours and wake up at 7pm and go to work again. The only reason I take a taxi to work is because I AM TIRED and I TRY TO SLEEP TILL AS LATE AS I CAN TO GET ENOUGH REST and as I DO NOT WANT TO BE LATE TO WORK)
4) Occasionally going out Restaurants etc with wife and sometimes socialising with friends (if at all THIS IS only for networking purposes to get more work for myself employment)
5) PLEASE NOTE: I used to pay for a property I had bought 2 years prior to our marriage until 1 year and a half after our marriage – which she doesn’t want me to pay as this money according to her could be used for us so I have stopped paying for the last 6 months – Which she doesn’t want to believe.
And she earns: £1000 per month (Her Basic Full time Job)
Out of which, She pays
1) Her travelling to work.
2) She needs to support her family (brother) abroad financially.
3) And support her brother here who lives with us occasionally now and again with his Rent and other expenses (Reason: As he doesn’t have much luck everywhere he goes to work and has changed over 5 jobs in the last 2 years unfortunately.)
4) Rarely but only since recently in some house hold precisely grocery shopping from the Sainsbury’s.
5) Her monthly shopping for clothes etc (She loves fashion and clothes etc) and there hasn’t been a single month she doesn’t buy anything.
6) And I am not sure if something is left with her or no after all this. If at all there is she probably needs to support her Mom as well sometimes.
QUESTION:
1) Who is at wrong in this relationship and why?
2) Is it wrong for me to expect/ask for support from my ‘‘WIFE’’ in finances or is a wife?
3) And if I do earn some extra money from my other work which is not regular (self employment) in my free time; do I don’t have the right to keep this for my Parents (Retired and Aged like hers as well) for my personal aspirations, for emergencies, for spending on myself or even if I pay for a financial commitment – my property – which I am into 2years prior to our marriage is there anything wrong in that?
4) What is your advice for us as a couple and for me?