Sticky...poor situation.....
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Navigation »Talk About Marriage »Focused Topics »Financial Problems in Marriage » Sticky...poor situation.....

Financial Problems in Marriage When financial times are tough, it adds to the stress we deal with on a daily basis. This section is for talking about how financial problems affect our relationships and ways to cope.

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Old 03-31-2011, 05:07 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Default Sticky...poor situation.....

i think i need some help. actually i know i do. lol. So my story is most of my life when i was growing up my dad has given me money, not a lot but enough to equate his love of me with the money he gives me. my mom has been through bankruptsy ( i went through that-not being able to eat-you think that wouldve taught me) and now she is just pulling up with her new husabnd and their new buisness-she has never helped me financially. So i knew nothing of finances at all-went from highschool to on my own for a while and then to college for two years-trying to get into nursing but instead racking up a student loan and a personal (student) line of credit. In my second year of college i got pregnant and flunked out. had my son and after a year with him i went back to private college and got a medical assistant degree (from what i learn now is 4 times what i should have payed for a degree) I have a part time job which i love, and another young son, who will be in playschool this year. I have spent the last 5 years paying for all these bills. I have read a (zillion! lol) finacial books and realize how inept i was and i wish i could go back.
i have lived with my boyfriend (the father of my sons) for about 6 years which is also crippling me. He was seasonal working until he went to school about a year ago (which was hell for me) he is now working apprencship plumbing which is now less than what i make-but full time. he has never once paid for any of my bills. he pays the rent, utilities and some food. ive tried to budget and i do admit- i suck at sticking to them. my student loans have been in default ( i have one recently back in good standing but i dont think im going to keep it there for long). I have been looking for a fulltime job... forever in my medical field-theres nothing!!! i could move but DH doesnt want to leave his home town. since both boys are now going into school-i still have to find daycare for both (SUCH a pain) i really want to get to work fulltime. I feel so overwhelmed. im trying to plan a great birthday for my son and im down to my last 100$- its either food for the party or food for the next two weeks for the house. this happens all the time. we are getting hit so bad, i have now a horrible medical coverage bill-which i cant pay- it seems like we are just over the cap of where everything is cheaper. like we make just enough money to make us pay through the teeth for everything.
I dont know what to do. i mean its getting to the point where im going to have to get a job at a gas station so i can pay off bills (again) (ps- my line of credit from my first year of college was 8000 and i payed it down to a little over 1000- the ONLY thing i can be proud of !) I also have an addiction to fast food-i know its bad and im trying to stop. Any advice? links? im thinking im gonna have to put away my pride (and the 14000 i spent on my career and get a job at a convience store) it just means i have to find daycare (reliable) for my kids and pay for that too. It seems like im sinking fast and this is really impacting my relationship- he seems to think that the kids can survive off of kraft dinner and the people that call the house FOR HIM dont need to be taken seriously. i have to keep on him, as we have seperate accounts (this way since i met him), so that our house bills get paid as he seems to pay one bill at a time and has gotten our power shut off in the past. is there another way to do this??? i hate talking money to him, he doesnt want to have a joint account cause he thinks all i do is spend money. which in all fairness i can, but i also take in maybe (my schedual is so variable and they dont offer fulltime) 1000 a month and have over 500 in bills to pay. i just dont know where all this money is slipping away to- gas, car repair, household stuff like shampoo and floor cleaner. Im just scaired it will continue like this. Some advice? thanks.
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Old 03-31-2011, 11:23 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Default Re: Sticky...poor situation.....

A credit counselor first of all. They might be able to help you out with consolidating all of your debt into one easy monthly payment. Also, they might be able to help you set up a budget.

Do you have state aid or something to that effect? You should try and find an income based house or apartment. That will definitely save you some money.

Honestly though, if money is going to extraneous things your really never going to get ahead. You have to make a plan and STICK WITH IT, having food on the table for you kids is an absolute priority. Fast food.... Not so much! If the gas station job is paying, I don't understand why you aren't there applying for the job.

Brush your teeth 3 times a day!!! The toothepaste kills the tasted of EVERYTHING = (hopefully) less ff or none

Good luck, I hope that you do speak to a professional about your finances though, they can help out more than you think, and can ALSO get you into some gov't programs to help!


&& the moving thing, if it's going to better you and your childrens lives, WHY WHY WHY would you stay in a town where you can't find decent employment...

EMPOWER yourself girl!
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