Live below your means - Page 4 - Talk About Marriage
Financial Problems in Marriage When financial times are tough, it adds to the stress we deal with on a daily basis. This section is for talking about how financial problems affect our relationships and ways to cope.

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post #46 of 67 (permalink) Old 11-20-2015, 06:30 PM
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Re: Live below your means

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Portugal and Viet Nam are cheap to retire to.
Panama, Uruguay, Costa Rica and Ecuador are also popular retirement destinations. Of course, it helps to know some Spanish, but the good news is that Spanish is about the easiest second language for English-speakers to learn.


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post #47 of 67 (permalink) Old 11-21-2015, 10:58 AM
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Re: Live below your means

Good luck getting Medicare or your health insurance company to pay there. My birth country in Europe (EU) looks good as a retirement destination till I realize that while I can get pension and social security there Medicare doesn't get accepted and out of pocket in a USA quality hospital is very expensive. Places like southern France or Italy may be more expensive but their average health care is very good. Since my family all have EU passports that's an option if costs are reasonable.
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post #48 of 67 (permalink) Old 11-21-2015, 05:01 PM
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Re: Live below your means

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Panama, Uruguay, Costa Rica and Ecuador are also popular retirement destinations. Of course, it helps to know some Spanish, but the good news is that Spanish is about the easiest second language for English-speakers to learn.
Uruguay is 95% white ethnic European, second highest standard of living in South America. They speak 3 languages, Portuguese, Spanish and Portunlo. Smattering of German.

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post #49 of 67 (permalink) Old 11-21-2015, 07:26 PM
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Re: Live below your means

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Uruguay is 95% white ethnic European, second highest standard of living in South America. They speak 3 languages, Portuguese, Spanish and Portunlo. Smattering of German.
As far as I know, Uruguay is mainly a Spanish-speaking country. It is next to Brazil, so I wouldn't be surprised to find some Portuguese spoken there, but all the media (newspapers, TV, ads) and signage in Montevideo and Punta del Este seem to be in Spanish.

There are a couple of interesting facts about their legal system. First, of course, they are the only country in the world where cannabis is legal. Second, it is pretty easy to get permanent residency there, and you can buy property without restriction (if I understand the rules correctly).

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post #50 of 67 (permalink) Old 11-22-2015, 09:27 AM
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Re: Live below your means

A problem that has gone unmentioned in this thread is the overall message that our culture is bombarding each and everyone of us with - materialism! Our country was built on it. Watch TV, listen to the radio, read a magazine, drive down the road - the message is everywhere. Often times people are just doing what they have been conditioned to do. The "gurus" tell people to buy the most expensive homes that they can afford. Commercials selling expensive jewelry to prove to her that she is worth it. Ads for $75,000 cars as Christmas presents. You can't get away with from it. You may actually be immune to it or at least recognize it. But if your spouse adopts the mantra you are screwed. Society tells them that somehow they aren't successful enough without the latest, greatest gadget. Not that any of this is an excuse, just that it is a part of the environment we all live in.

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post #51 of 67 (permalink) Old 11-22-2015, 12:59 PM
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Re: Live below your means

Depends on where you live too, and how stable your income is. Its tough to adjust from making 5k a month with 2.5k in bills to nearly 6k in bills.

We have done everything to cut corners, were stuck in a rental bubble where the cost of paying rent is higher than a mortgage, by the time you add food in there and insurance, phone bill, gas, etc its absurd. but since we are over spending were not getting enough traction on savings so were stuck renting until that can resolve. That and a high conflict spouse that talks the talk but doesn't follow rules well doesn't help. If you would of told me 10 years ago I would be making 60-70k and broke I would of laughed at you.
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post #52 of 67 (permalink) Old 11-22-2015, 02:23 PM
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Re: Live below your means

Most people do not come from generational wealth. Take a look at your grandparents and how they did it.

Mine fled for their lives and left land and businesses behind. Retired wealthy after working hard their lives and building back from nothing. Never agreed with nor needed welfare.

Our western entitled society is doomed to be outcompeted by bright hard workers from India, China, even Mexico.

I completely agree with Warren Buffet's philosophy on inheritence:

Boomers mimic Warren Buffett when it comes to inheritances
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post #53 of 67 (permalink) Old 11-22-2015, 02:33 PM
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Re: Live below your means

Yes and they didn't believe in debt. These days debt is shoved down our throats as if its the way to live. Our cost of living has massively inflated over the last few years too, without wages following the trend. No one can deny that. 20 years ago a man could feed his family, have a car, decent house, and savings on $50k a year, and living comfortably. My parents prob made 50k a year, had 4 children, and by the time they retired they had over $400K in assets, which got eaten up by medial debt but that's another conversation.

Try that same formula today, it fails, even though $50k is the average income still.
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post #54 of 67 (permalink) Old 11-22-2015, 02:46 PM
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Re: Live below your means

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Yes and they didn't believe in debt. These days debt is shoved down our throats as if its the way to live. Our cost of living has massively inflated over the last few years too, without wages following the trend. No one can deny that. 20 years ago a man could feed his family, have a car, decent house, and savings on $50k a year, and living comfortably. My parents prob made 50k a year, had 4 children, and by the time they retired they had over $400K in assets, which got eaten up by medial debt but that's another conversation.

Try that same formula today, it fails, even though $50k is the average income still.
This is true. I had forgotten this part. My grandparents never owned a credit card.

While incomes haven't kept pace with COL (depending on what that is for you), I don't believe that is the sole issue. I agree with you about our consumerist society.

There are plenty of people who still come from nothing and become successful. Make your own luck in this life.
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post #55 of 67 (permalink) Old 11-22-2015, 03:37 PM
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Re: Live below your means

The consumerist society keeps many people employed. Me for example

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post #56 of 67 (permalink) Old 11-22-2015, 04:27 PM
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I would call myself a success..it just gets dampened when your life is constantly filled up with extra expenses created by your spouse or living situation
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post #57 of 67 (permalink) Old 11-22-2015, 04:32 PM
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Re: Live below your means

I've talked to people about layaways, and saving money to buy something, and it's just such a foreign concept today. What do you mean I should wait on that fourth pair of tennis shoes? I need them!

I got a new outfit at the beginning of the school year, and it was mixed into the other stuff I had and still fit in, to create just a little bit more of a choice over the year. And if I was lucky, I got something else new to wear at Easter or on my birthday.

I'm just as guilty of raising my DD25 this way, too, though - taking her shopping whenever we felt like it. I'm just grateful she turned out to not WANT to spend that much money.
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post #58 of 67 (permalink) Old 11-22-2015, 04:35 PM
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Re: Live below your means

I'm a frugal bastard. I audit stuff, I demand explanations. Our electronic online economy has promoted a very lackadaisical attitude towards fees, fines, mistakes, loans, service charges, accidents and the like. I can't tell you how many times I go over my kids bills and they don't know what's in them. This is why 'identity theft' is a small part of the problem compared to the way things are supposed to work.

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post #59 of 67 (permalink) Old 11-22-2015, 05:19 PM
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Re: Live below your means

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I'm a frugal bastard. I audit stuff, I demand explanations. Our electronic online economy has promoted a very lackadaisical attitude towards fees, fines, mistakes, loans, service charges, accidents and the like. I can't tell you how many times I go over my kids bills and they don't know what's in them. This is why 'identity theft' is a small part of the problem compared to the way things are supposed to work.
The cost of identity theft is probably a drop in the bucket relative to the cost of identity 'donation' by way of junk fees and charges in commerce.

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post #60 of 67 (permalink) Old 11-28-2015, 06:19 AM
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Re: Live below your means

9 years ago, i made about 70 grand. then i joined the army and made 18 grand. last year i brought in about 60, but then i got a 40 grand bonus at the beginning of this year for re-enlisting with a critically needed skill in a critically needed job. five years into a ten year plan to set myself and my family up for our future. we bought a business, while i am still in the army. my wife runs the business and we live mostly off of my income. for the next several years, most of the business income will be reinvested back into the business so that by the time i get out, its already built up and well established.

we also live below our means, but we set aside money specifically for making memories. trips, vacations, etc. i dont much remember what kind of stuff i had ten years ago, but i DO remember what i experienced. when i think back on road trips, i dont remember the kinds of snacks, drinks, and food i ate. i DO remember the conversations i had, the things i saw, and the people i experienced it with.

this year, we may break 200 grand between the two of us. living within our means wasnt really what got us here, it was our plan. living frugally without much of a plan for growth is fine for a lot of people, but it just isn't enough for me.

i have things i want to do later on in life, while i am still young enough to enjoy it. and i dont want to make the same mistake my parents made. my father knows what its like to try and raise a family of five on 6000 dollars a year. i remember what that looked like... several years ago, he started his own business. last year he made over 150 grand. but my parents didnt save a dime, and when tough times came earlier this year, he went bankrupt. he didnt plan. so now my parents live with my wife and i, for free, and we are paying them to help out with our business. unfortunately, they are still spending every dime they make. im probably going to start holding back some of his pay and put it into an account that he cant touch just so that he can actually build up enough money to get back onto his feet. we are also putting money aside so that we can expand the business when i get out of the army. my parents have never been one to think long term, but they are going to learn. they dont have much of a choice... they dont have anywhere else to go and nobody else in our family can afford to do what we are doing for them.


live below your means, of course. but have a plan. have a goal.

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