Re: Husband has no job
Your husband sounds just like mine!!! It is soooo frustrating having someone like this weighing you down and holding you back, isn't it?
I have been married for 10 years to a man who could not keep a job and for the past 2-3 years has been "self-employed," meaning, he tries to find jobs (handyman, home repair, remodeling) but they have to pay enough to make it worth his time! Can you imagine?
I work full-time, have been at the same job for 13 years. I pay our rent, car note, electric bill, car insurance and make sure there is food in the house and gas in my car. I also usually get stuck paying our cell phone bills. When he actually earns some money, he will pay for things like eating out, car repairs, clothes, and things I consider non-essential.
The only advice I can give you is to be in control of your money. My husband and I had a joint checking account for several years until I couldn't take it any more. I have my own checking account and only my paycheck goes into it -- he has no access. I wish I didn't have to do that, but for my own peace of mind and to be sure that our necessary bills get paid, I have to.
I have considered divorce over the years and right now, the only reason I haven't filed is because we have a 7 year old and he has a pretty good relationship with her. I know that if I file and he has to move out, he will make me out to be the bad guy and play the victim in front of our daughter.
I do not think it is unrealistic to divorce your husband over this issue. It is making your life miserable and causing you stress and he doesn't seem to give a flip. If you have already mentioned divorce and he hasn't stepped up, I would think the next move is to take action. Actions speak louder than words. I find that when I do something that gets my husband's attention, he changes his attitude, even if just for a short time.
Good luck to you, I know it is a difficult way to live.