I think my husband is stealing money from me - Page 2 - Talk About Marriage
Financial Problems in Marriage When financial times are tough, it adds to the stress we deal with on a daily basis. This section is for talking about how financial problems affect our relationships and ways to cope.

User Tag List

 19Likes
Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Search this Thread
post #16 of 28 (permalink) Old 05-28-2015, 08:57 AM
Member
 
whatslovegottodowithit?'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 311
Re: I think my husband is stealing money from me

Does the bank charge an incoming wire transfer fee? Was the wire domestic or international? Look into this if you haven't.

whatslovegottodowithit? is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
post #17 of 28 (permalink) Old 06-08-2015, 09:15 PM Thread Starter
Registered User
 
Join Date: May 2015
Posts: 11
Re: I think my husband is stealing money from me

Thank you all for your replies. I am working on opening my own bank account now. I think it will help me tremendously. I think I have been too trusting?
macey8 is offline  
post #18 of 28 (permalink) Old 06-09-2015, 12:13 AM
Member
 
Kristisha's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: UK
Posts: 284
Re: I think my husband is stealing money from me

Quote:
Originally Posted by macey8 View Post
Thank you all for your replies. I am working on opening my own bank account now. I think it will help me tremendously. I think I have been too trusting?
Maybe especially since you see any signs of him not being honest with your finances. It's much better at least to be in control over your own income .

Have you found out what was happening with those 200$?
Kristisha is offline  
 
post #19 of 28 (permalink) Old 06-09-2015, 10:43 AM
Forum Supporter
 
3Xnocharm's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Midwest USA
Posts: 5,949
Re: I think my husband is stealing money from me

Ask your parents for a copy of their receipt from the transfer, that will show the amount sent and any fees that got deducted.

And for God's sake, get a bank account! Joint is preferable, in my opinion. You said in your OP that YOU set a budget for bills, etc...but how do you KNOW what is actually being spent? If you have no control over or access to the bank account, you really dont have a way to know what is going on. What if something happened to your husband, or you guys were to split up later down the line?? You would be screwed....

Life is too short to spend time with people who suck the happiness out of you.

http://goodmenproject.com/featured-c...ionships-fiff/
3Xnocharm is offline  
post #20 of 28 (permalink) Old 06-09-2015, 11:35 AM
Member
 
bluezone's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: United States
Posts: 225
Re: I think my husband is stealing money from me

Macey8 I agree with other posters...you either need a joint account or you need your own account and I would insist that he share is login info with you. You guys are married...there should be total transparency. You can give him your login as well.
bluezone is offline  
post #21 of 28 (permalink) Old 06-10-2015, 03:07 AM
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 4,301
Re: I think my husband is stealing money from me

So your wages go into his bank account and you have no access? If this is for real then it is time to grow up and get proactive in your family finances. And who doesn't have online banking these days?
Holland is offline  
post #22 of 28 (permalink) Old 06-10-2015, 07:35 AM
Member
 
Kristisha's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: UK
Posts: 284
Re: I think my husband is stealing money from me

Quote:
Originally Posted by Holland View Post
So your wages go into his bank account and you have no access? If this is for real then it is time to grow up and get proactive in your family finances. And who doesn't have online banking these days?
She said that her husband it's not into this online stuff which is weird , or at least you can have mobile banking and you can see in real time what it's going on with your bank account.
Kristisha is offline  
post #23 of 28 (permalink) Old 06-12-2015, 02:38 AM
Member
 
turnera's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 35,254
Re: I think my husband is stealing money from me

Quote:
Originally Posted by macey8 View Post
Thank you all for your replies. I am working on opening my own bank account now. I think it will help me tremendously. I think I have been too trusting?
It's not that you've been too trusting. It's that you have allowed him to be the RULER of the family, instead of your equal. What wife in a healthy relationship worries about 'hurting his feelings' if he hasn't already manipulated you to the point that you have come to believe you are responsible for his feelings?

Time for therapy. Just by yourself.
turnera is offline  
post #24 of 28 (permalink) Old 06-13-2015, 07:44 AM
Member
 
jacko jack's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: United Kingdom
Posts: 205
Re: I think my husband is stealing money from me

I think you should have a separate account and a joint account as others have said, when my wife and I went to set up a joint account unfortunately they would not let us have a joint account, my wife had credit problems from before we where married. I do like Enigma Girl quote of I would rather have sexual infidelity rather than financial infidelity, I tend to agree with her it has the same amount of pain. I hope this is just a misunderstanding between you are your husband, I have been advised that my wife is suffering from NPD.
jacko jack is offline  
post #25 of 28 (permalink) Old 06-14-2015, 01:51 PM
Member
 
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Midwest, USA
Posts: 100
Re: I think my husband is stealing money from me

You said the money was wired into an account. A lot of banks have some pretty insane wire fees. 6.66% seems high, but I've seen them as high as 10%. So I wouldn't automatically assume he is not telling the truth. Just ask to see the statement. Don't make any other deal out of it.

Anooniemouse is offline  
post #26 of 28 (permalink) Old 09-14-2015, 10:23 PM
Banned
 
Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 2,608
Re: I think my husband is stealing money from me

Married 49 years, always had a joint account....I never even checked a balance, my wife handled finances, since as a SAHM she had more time and is a very good with money....

If I knew she was $200 short I would figure she was going to buy me a present and wanted to keep it a surprise...

We recently came in to some money, and after paying off all our bills, I opened my first account in my name only....I kept some money aside so if I want to take us on a trip or nice vacation, she can't say we don't have the money....
Woodchuck is offline  
post #27 of 28 (permalink) Old 09-15-2015, 12:46 AM
Moderator
 
EleGirl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: New Mexico
Posts: 32,345
Re: I think my husband is stealing money from me

Quote:
Originally Posted by Woodchuck View Post
Married 49 years, always had a joint account....I never even checked a balance, my wife handled finances, since as a SAHM she had more time and is a very good with money....

If I knew she was $200 short I would figure she was going to buy me a present and wanted to keep it a surprise...

We recently came in to some money, and after paying off all our bills, I opened my first account in my name only....I kept some money aside so if I want to take us on a trip or nice vacation, she can't say we don't have the money....
It does not always work out so well.

One of my brothers did this. After 22 years of marriage she filed for divorce. I started handling his finances because he had no clue. I ended up doing going through his financial records going back 10 years. She move a LOT of money out of their joint accounts into her own name... then to accounts that could not be traced. Their children were doing commercials, movies, etc for years.. she took huge chunks of their earnings too.

you are lucky that you have a wife you can trust. Not all people have the good of their spouse and marriage as their priority.
EleGirl is offline  
post #28 of 28 (permalink) Old 10-09-2015, 12:10 AM
Member
 
Threeblessings's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: Australia
Posts: 369
Re: I think my husband is stealing money from me

Get your own bank account. Depending on the currency if there is exchange rates involved the amount would usually be different.
Threeblessings is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Options

Register Now



In order to be able to post messages on Talk About Marriage, you must first register. Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.

Important! Your username will be visible to the public next to anything you post and could show up in search engines like Google. If you are concerned about anonymity, PLEASE choose a username that will not be recognizable to anyone you know.

User Name:
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.

Password:


Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.

Email Address:
OR

Log-in









Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



Thread Tools Search this Thread
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search



Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
My husband accused me of stealing my childs money shelleyv The Family & Parenting Forums 11 10-09-2015 09:27 AM
Ever feel your spouse is stealing from you? richie33 General Relationship Discussion 14 02-16-2014 06:11 PM
Stealing? shootmenow Considering Divorce or Separation 9 02-20-2013 11:33 AM
Help with teenage daughter stealing from us JoeRockStar The Family & Parenting Forums 29 08-03-2012 02:58 PM
Husband lying about spening money/spending money when none in bank..!!! dixie Financial Problems in Marriage 5 12-03-2009 01:37 PM

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

 
For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome