Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Central Virginia
Re: I make ALL the money, she complains we are broke
I get so ticked at people who blame their spouse for not making enough money. Go out and get a job (or a better paying job) if you want more money! That's what you need to say and you need to mean it.
By all means take the financial steps you need to take--and consider selling or renting the house and moving to less expensive housing until you get a grip on finances. Talk to your kids--make sure they know you will not end up homeless or hungry, but you will need to have the family's support in cutting back for a while--whatever that will look like from your perspective.
If you can hold a yard sale, visit consignment ships, plan for "sandwich nights" (when no one feels like cooking), etc., you might begin feeling a bit better--taking small steps that in and of themselves won't solve the problem, but might help get you, your wife, and your kids on the same page.
Be willing to argue with your wife about this, and to insist that it is financially irresponsible to expand expenses (like a bigger house or new car) when you are currently increasingly in debt . Make it clear that you want her income to cover past due mortgage payments and whatever percent of the living expenses are fair (if she makes 30% of the total income, she pays 30% of the total bills or more, etc). Then negotiate a savings plan. Do not set savings goals that are unrealistic or punitive--just insist on a way of saving that she cannot get at on her own, with each of you also contributing in fair amounts,starting small and planning to increase your contributions as incomes rise and other expenses change.
I think you need to get in front of this before she starts working. Good luck.