I was in a similar situation except that we were older, late 40's. It was both of ours 2nd marriage. I had my son, he had 100% custody of his children. 2 years into the marriage he lost his job.
The rest of the story is about like yours.
I did the do-nothing types things that some are suggesting. The result was that 10 years later he still did not have a job. I was still the breadwinner, raising all 3 kids and he was doing.. well nothing constructive.
What I learned is that I made a HUGE mistake. It does not matter what's going on in his head.. if he's too sensitive to go out to find a job to help support his family. What matters is that he is not doing what he needs to do and apparently is fine with putting the entire burden on you.
It would be different if you two had agreed to you being the breadwinner and he was being a great SAHD. But he's not.
As someone else said, if he did not have you to support him, he'd have a job in no time. Necessity is the mother on invention.
You need to take a strong stand with him. You cannot support all of you on your income. He has to get a job or find another way to being in enough income to carry his responsibilities.
Job hunting needs to be his main focus.
He can sign up at temp agencies.
and on and on
He can advertise whatever skills he has on Craigslist... can he do yard work? The guys around here charge $20 - $30 an hour. They are so busy that they are scheduling out 1-2 months in advance. Those are the guys who have little special equipment.
What's his education in? What kinds of things can he do besides the area of his education.
There are things that he can do.
It is hard to read the future....I had just moved to a new job, bought a home, while trying to sell our previous home....After 16 weeks, my new job collapsed.....650 people fired in one day...
I got on the internet, job hunting. Got an interview, and while I was finishing my coffee prior to going out the door, saw a jetliner fly into the WTC....I made the interview, but they did not call back with an offer for 3 years....
I made do with contract jobs all over the Eastern U.S. It was 5 years before I landed a solid job, and as luck would have it, got 2 offers in one day....One from Garmin, and one from a miniature submarine builder...
I made the grade with the sub builder. They read my resume. and waved the requirement for a college degree.....I got a great offer, and took it. Two weeks into the new job, the VP we reported to called me into a private office and closed the door....I thought..."Here it comes..canned". Instead he said he was very impressed, and gave my salary a nice little kick up....
Prior to getting this job, my wife said I was just "playing on the computer"...When I was job hunting....
I had faith in myself, but must admit my wife's was getting a little thin...