Whose money is it? - Page 2 - Talk About Marriage
Financial Problems in Marriage When financial times are tough, it adds to the stress we deal with on a daily basis. This section is for talking about how financial problems affect our relationships and ways to cope.

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post #16 of 18 (permalink) Old 08-10-2011, 02:58 PM
Join Date: Mar 2011
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Re: Whose money is it?

Remember the old saying, what his is mine and what mine is mine. Don't believe it? Ask a divorce attorney.

Seriously though, I do freelance work and what I've done is AFTER all the bills are paid I put a little bit in a separate "play account" and buy myself or our son something. My tax return goes towards bills and credit card debt but we will take a vacation. There is always room for compromise.

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post #17 of 18 (permalink) Old 08-19-2011, 02:23 PM
Join Date: Apr 2011
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Re: Whose money is it?

Originally Posted by NotaGoodSlave View Post
Nothing you "own" is just owned by you...............you are a married man. Your wife has a claim on EVERYTHING - not just a few extra bucks you make on the side.

Read and understand a Contract of Marriage before you sign it, which if you ever did would ironically make it likely you would never sign it in the first place...........
Even more important are the divorce laws. Not that you are getting divorced, but if you're interested in the legal aspects of it that's the place to look. In Texas, which is a community property state, it goes like this: any gift or inheritance or money/property brought into the marriage is separate property. Anything earned in the marriage is community property. So that's the law, at least here.

Of course from a practical point of view, I'd say that hobby money is strictly the earner's, up until it affects the primary income source in some way (have to cut back real work hours to do the "hobby" etc.) This might cut both ways, of course.

FWIW, in my marriage I handle the finances, they are entirely joint, there is no extra source of income, but we are both on the same page as far as frugality and the importance of being debt-free.
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post #18 of 18 (permalink) Old 08-22-2011, 08:21 AM
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Finger Lakes region NY
Posts: 65
Re: Whose money is it?

In our household, it was always "our" money until he wanted something expensive that I didn't think we could afford (I was the one paying the bills, we were both making good money but he made more). When I was 8 months pregnant and going on maternity leave so would have no income for several months (which was going to make our mortgage payments TIGHT during that time), he went out and bought himself an $18,000 motorcycle without telling me until AFTER he had already bought it. Needless to say, I was PISSED. Especially since we hadn't even finished buying the necessary stuff for the new baby yet and we already knew that child care expenses were going to take up a good chunk of my income once I went back to work.

And two years later, when he filed for bankruptcy after we separated - what conveniently got left OUT of the bankruptcy settlement - his expensive motorcycle and his even more expensive SUV. While we lost our house, I lost my car, and we destroyed our credit rating for the next 10 years.
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