Re: Is this insane or is it me?
True we do not know the whole story and are only seeing one side but the side we are seeing is atrocious. His side would have to monumentally persuasive to compensate and if you were in reality that bad he would not be with you. You need to understand that if you marry him it will get worse, not better. I would strongly suggest that you rethink your decision to marry this individual. Your family sees what you cannot, do not be blind to this or you will find yourself trapped in a horrible marriage. At least now you can get out with relative ease.
If you do attempt to leave be prepared for him to don his best Shakespearean costume and become an award winning actor in an effort to make you stay. Two words you should become very familiar with and learn about, manipulative and controlling.
Peace and long life