Re: Wifes logic about money vs reality
nah, it's popular. honestly, i don't think it's that efficient. it's not like if there's no gas money in the gas money envelope, then you stop driving your car to work. keeping a spreadsheet of expenses like that based on receipts/bank statements should be sufficient, and simply staying under a general limit. If you can't stay under, then you don't get fun money left over. simple as that.
but sending the less frugal spouse to the grocery with only cash in an envelope works wonders. Even better if they can only take cash clothes shopping. It really makes you rethink want vs. need. If they don't have access to money earmarked for bills or the business, then they can't overspend into those funds.
OP could just remove all the funds for bills/business into a separate account and leave her the rest in the family account, but if she's not willing to understand the budget, then she'll just bounce checks or overdraft the account. She needs to be caught up to speed, and if not willing, then limited to handing the funds she is willing to understand.
Forget enough to get over it, remember enough so it doesn't happen again.