Any success stories from couples that have made it from poverty?? - Page 2
 Talk About Marriage
  The Marriage Advice and Relationship Help Forums
  right
Forums - Online Counseling - For Therapists - Link to Us - Advertise  

    A Public Forum Provided by The Family & Marriage Counseling Directory
Register FAQ Community Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read

Navigation »Talk About Marriage »Focused Topics »Financial Problems in Marriage » Any success stories from couples that have made it from poverty??

Financial Problems in Marriage When financial times are tough, it adds to the stress we deal with on a daily basis. This section is for talking about how financial problems affect our relationships and ways to cope.

Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Search this Thread
Old 08-29-2011, 11:32 AM   #16 (permalink)
Registered User
 
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Milwaukee, WI
Posts: 26
Default Re: Any success stories from couples that have made it from poverty??

thanks geesh, and panda, and everyone else. it's nice to see that i'm doing some things right with what i have to work with. i suppose the only barrier that may seperate our experiances is my disability. believe me, it's not the hard work that keeps me from success. i yearn for hard work. i'm just physically unable to do it.so now i'm stuck wondering now how do i achieve success?
Posted via Mobile Device
Disposition is offline   Reply With Quote
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Old 09-05-2011, 10:18 AM   #17 (permalink)
Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 113
Default Re: Any success stories from couples that have made it from poverty??

Quote:
Originally Posted by SimplyAmorous View Post
Me & my husband met in our teens, both shared the same dreams --SAVE SAVE SAVE like mad- we wanted an old farmhouse, land, privacy - kids & me to stay at home. But his job sucked, we married anyway .

I worked full time till we had our 1st son. The most my husband ever made at this job was $8.25/hr -he stayed there being a faithful employee for 18 long yrs because the health benefits were killer excellent. , this paid for my pregnancies & infertility testing. He went to Computer school -but never got anythng from it. We had 3 kids on his 1 income , we never had trouble paying bills or buying what we needed. (Our rent was cheap, landlord his aunt) Luxeries were pretty much forbidden unless it was major important to us . We always had too much $$ saved to get food stamps -but were low income "enough". I did have small side jobs here & there to bring in an extra $2,000 a year generally.

I just want to say... Me & My husband are both very very THRIFTY, we were able to put down $15,000 on our 1st house 4 yrs after we married -not our dream abode by any means but it was half of the price of the house, had an acre & we saw potential for Profit with some fixing, we installed a wood furnce, built a chimney, laid cement, new roof, worked on that for 2 yrs, turned around & sold it for $13,000 more than we paid for it.

Then bought our Country Farm house we wanted w/acrerage.
We was able to put down $40,000 this time. 2 yrs later he got his current job- MUCH better pay-but not rich, just decent blue collar wages - Starting out at $14/hr ....We went on to have 3 more kids. He is still at this same job (approx $50,000 a year), we cut our 15 year house loan in half , by the time I gave birth to our last child at 40, we were completely DEBT FREE.


We are admittably cheap- or the nicer term is "frugal". I used to own a book called the "Tightwad Gazette" Amazon.com: The Complete Tightwad Gazette (9780375752254): Amy Dacyczyn: Books Yeah, much of those things were a way of life for us, especially when he had his 1st job. I used cloth diapers on my 1st 3 kids & I hung them on the clothes line too! (in the country, no neighbors). We have always had a nice stash for emergencies. Never had a fight about $$. We refuse to pay interest on anything.

How we live. Could look at this as advice

1. I don't buy my kids expensive cell phones or designer clothes
2. I have a tracfone (averages $7 a month if you buy cards on Ebay, only use mine for emegencies- my older phone has FREE incoming text so I keep it -no bells & whistles at all.
3. I Use Google Voice for free long distance calling.
4. My kids use their ipods for Free texting
5. I clip coupons & do Buy ONe Get ONE free deals
6. I only buy on sale
7. I use ebay for their games & many items
8. Buy my books used online
9. I search anything & everything for competitive pricing from contacts to tires online, call stores
10. I go to Flea markers
11. I buy clothes at Consignment shops
12. I do rebates,
13. We have a rule -only water when eating out
14. We try to do our own home projects
15. Paint & repair our own cars
16. we take the family to the $1 theater on the day is only 75 cents a movie, we skip the popcorn, (of coarse with friends I will let them pay $6 a movie- we just don't do that as a family-too costly).
17. I cook mostly from scratch as boxed & prepared items cost too much
18. We have X amount come directly out of his paycheck every week in savings- helps you save if not slipping through your hands
19. I use Big Crumb.com to earn $$ on some stores online-it adds up !
20. We only buy older cars -have never gotten a car loan in our lives
21. I use CHASE credit cards , always pay in full, they give you perks to earn 2- 5% on every dollar spent , I generally make $300 a year free - just by using my CC on everything from food to gas to bills. (they do not like customers like me) The Best Cash Back Credit Cards, September 2011
22. If I see a killer credit card offer, like a free DISNEY Visa giving away $200 in free disney dallors after your 1st purchase -I jump on that - I plan to use this to deduct $200 from our tickets when we go later this year.
23. I cut all my boy's hair with the buzzer , and my husbands.


I used to enjoy watching Suze Orman internationally acclaimed personal finance expert : The Suze Orman Show : Will & Trust Kit : FICO Kit : Insurance Kit : Women & Money

We are NOT rich by others standars of INCOME -but we feel we are doing pretty darn good.
You definately have to work together and decide to live below your means. Especially these days, things are so uncertain, you can't really take any dollar for granted. I agree with a lot of the things on the above post. I love that I have discovered couponing and the 40% I save on our groceries is great! Would really like to save any more, but don't want to make it a stressor. Staying debt free is always a priority. As long as you continue to owe other people and pay them interest, you will NEVER get anywhere. I also get a lot of free codes for the Blockbuster movies kiosk in our area so I never pay even a $1 for those movies. We also have a very strict gas budget. Gas is too high to just be riding all over town. I also love thrift stores and consignment shops and for my little baby, I'm not buying expensive clothes for her to grown out of in three months. I really do hope that in light of your disability, that you are able to find something or work with someone to help you generate some income. Also, the situation is not necessarily poverty, especially if you're able to have cable and buy groceries. Poverty stricken families don't even come close to being able to do this.
maccheese is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-12-2011, 06:52 AM   #18 (permalink)
Member
 
SimplyAmorous's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: USA
Posts: 9,350
Default Re: Any success stories from couples that have made it from poverty??

Quote:
Originally Posted by maccheese View Post
You definately have to work together and decide to live below your means. Especially these days, things are so uncertain, you can't really take any dollar for granted. I agree with a lot of the things on the above post.

Strange as it may sound, me & my husband has NEVER sat down & did a Budget- ever. One thing we always did was - have X amount come directly OUT OF HIS PAY and straight into our Credit Union, what you don't see, you learn not to miss & that keeps building & building . Then when you get your statement, it is like "Wow, that really added up fast!" And many times we take that out & put it in CD's, those rates are terrible these days though.

Quote:
I love that I have discovered couponing and the 40% I save on our groceries is great! Would really like to save any more, but don't want to make it a stressor. Staying debt free is always a priority.
When I go to Giant Eagle to shop, I feel like I didnt do a good job if I didn't "save as much as I spent" (between their BOGOs, savings & my coupons doubled), that is my barometer for being a good grocery shopper. It IS time consuming to do all this couponing, but I always smile when I see the results on that receipt. Or I think - I didn't save enough that time around.

If I don't take the time to coupon, I go to lower priced stores with generics. I met a lady once who had like 10 kids, she showed me what she does....gets the Grocery Ads the day they come out- studys them for BOGO's - buy matching coupons for 5 cents or so ONLINE (many times from different states), gets them in the mail 2 days later, goes to the store & literally cuts her food bill probably more than 75% - gets many items totally for FREE. She only shops where they double the coupons. I did this for a time but it was VERY TIME CONSUMING, I got tired of the hassle & always feared my mail would be late, I would miss the deals and sometimes the store didn't have as many of the items that I bought coupons for!

On a couple occassions I had the cashier owing me change, those were really funny moments -to see the look on thier face.

People give me coupons, so that is what I do, but I don't buy the newspapers to get them. I have a plastic case , with all my coupons separated in there , labeled in sections, I get that out every week, sit down with the ad, an envelope, pen & see what I can save on.

Quote:

We also have a very strict gas budget. Gas is too high to just be riding all over town.
For our family size & where we live, we MUST have a 4x4 Suburban or we wouldn't even get out of the driveway in the winter. To even that out, we purposely bought a 4 cylinder car that seats 6 (almost impossible to find) & use this for most of our trips -his work- but if the whole family has to go, it HAS to be the Burb, we can even throw in another kid or 2. Costs near $100 to fill that thing up!

One lady in my Mops group says she uses SwagBucks for her search Engine online and makes $$ off of that, taking surveys, just surfing I guess earns "points". I tried it but missed my Google!

The reviews about it are pretty darn good though:

Swagbucks Reviews - Viewpoints

Last edited by SimplyAmorous; 09-12-2011 at 07:07 AM.
SimplyAmorous is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-14-2011, 02:05 PM   #19 (permalink)
Member
 
SepticChange's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Nor Cal
Posts: 510
Default Re: Any success stories from couples that have made it from poverty??

Wow. Just wow. I'm loving these stories. Definitely inspiring and shows that if the two of you stick together you can work through anything no matter how stressful it may be. My husband is in the army now but he's being medboarded out in a couple of months. He has no real job skill because he was infantry. He wants to use the post 9/11 to go to school but doesn't know what for.

Months ago I had to drop out of college due to stupid choices which resulted in my lack of financial aid and my father abandoning me in every financial way possible. I was stuck. I still wanted to go to school. So he suggested I joined the military...to get a little start on life while being able to go to school for free. Now all I have to do is not get hurt in basic training otherwise we're screwed.

I plan on doing just 4 years then finishing up my degree but he encourages me to see the army for what it is and if I decide I like it then to make it a career, get my degree and go officer. It's not likely but ok I'll see how it goes. The job I was given I was told is tranferable into the civilian world, which I hope in this economy I can get something once I get out. It will be a pain for both of us to work and go to school at the same time. That's what I'm worried about the most. Rough times may be ahead of us. It will suck because we both have debts and I know I could handle it but can WE handle it is the question.

Financial problems does indeed put stress on a marriage but I would gladly be living off of food stamps or in a homeless shelter WITH him and not run away because of it.
SepticChange is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-19-2011, 04:25 PM   #20 (permalink)
Banned
 
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: In an igloo.
Posts: 2,014
Default Re: Any success stories from couples that have made it from poverty??

Quote:
Originally Posted by Disposition View Post
it would be nice, and even a little reassuring, if there are any successful marriages that have fought through very hard financial times and could maybe post how you overcame it?
we've been hurting financially for soooo long, it's just hard to see the light sometimes. any help or advice would be greatly appreciated!!
Posted via Mobile Device
*hug* Just hold on tight to each other and remember your vows...for richer or poorer.

We were hit HARD by the recession. Right after we were engaged, my husband lost his job because the company went bankrupt. Consequently, he did not receive any severance after nearly six years of slaving. For a year, my husband looked for work with no success. Just as his unemployment was going to run out, he found work in his field.

I have been having a difficult time finding work at reputable places, without racism or lies about the job description. Just today, I had an interview at a place that boasted decent pay in the ad, yet only paid minimum bloody wage once I got in the door!!! If they call me, I will tell them where to shove their lies.

So we had a wedding that really was not what we wanted, but it was what we could afford.

We are still poor in my opinion; we will not be able to buy a home for at least five years. However, we have been able to buy new bedroom furniture and a brand new car recently, instead of the old clunker that was eating all our money with repairs. We can finally afford to go visit my in laws as well.

Things are looking up and they will for you too, love. Just keep working hard and working with each other....you will be fine. Your day will come.
FirstYearDown is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-01-2011, 12:41 AM   #21 (permalink)
Registered User
 
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Milwaukee, WI
Posts: 26
Default Re: Any success stories from couples that have made it from poverty??

ty FYD. thankfully we are there for eachother. it is nice seeing everyone making the most, as do we. most luxuries we do have were free or something similar. we've discovered and use just about every trick in the book to get by. thankfully finances are not really an issue for US, just me really. i want to do MORE for my family who's so supportive. i'm just at a loss, and now our only car's broken....oh well.....
Posted via Mobile Device
Disposition is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-15-2011, 04:57 PM   #22 (permalink)
Member
 
F-102's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Chicago 'burbs
Posts: 3,517
Default Re: Any success stories from couples that have made it from poverty??

Of course, having a W who works with a budget the way Dave Gilmour works a Fender Strat doesn't hurt!
__________________
"I've listened to preachers, I've listened to fools, I've watched all the dropouts, who make their own rules..."
F-102 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-15-2011, 07:55 PM   #23 (permalink)
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 8,677
Default Re: Any success stories from couples that have made it from poverty??

Not all that long ago, basically everyone was poor. They didn't call it "poverty". They just called it "life". Sit down with a really old couple and they'll tell you all about it. My grandparents have been married over 70 years. They positively adore each other and they were so poor, ****roaches and mice wouldn't have wasted their time with them.
Back during WWI, my great grandfather developed an illness and had to move south for his health. He packed his whole family up in a model T and drove to Florida with no money and no idea how they'd get by. Their family of four camped beside the road for a year, eating swamp cabbage and leftovers from the fields. Both are dead now but their marriage lasted over 60 years and they were the sweetest couple you could ever imagine. Their kids grew up and both had very long, satisfying marriages, through poverty and prosperity. I think couples who endure hardships together often have stronger and richer relationships than those who haven't.
unbelievable is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 11-07-2011, 08:04 PM   #24 (permalink)
Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 183
Default Re: Any success stories from couples that have made it from poverty??

I've lived poor and broke separately.

Poor - My parents were poor...we were a big family of 9. In those days Dad only made $6 an hour and he worked for the city. We lived in a government home full of roaches. Relatives laughed at us and would say, "Did you bring the roaches with you?" when we'd visit them. Friends told me my house looked like a shack and one asked, "Why do you guys live in an alley?" I was always afraid to bring friends over because all the ones I brought over, never returned or talked to me again. I made my way through high school and college and while in college moved away from that house (but it was hard because my parents already determined that I was stupid and shouldn't waste time going to school...and that I should get married to an old man and pop out babies).

Broke and then success - I was doing well financially during college since I worked full-time too. I paid rent for a nice apartment, had my own car, and worked one full time job and part-time jobs on the side (receptionist, waiter, etc. on the weekends). I went to school in the evening. I saved up.

During my last year in college, I met the man who became my husband. I was also laid off from my FT job so I worked at a PT job so that I could go to college FT and finish up. After I graduated, the industry I majored in crashed. Husband was also in the same major so we both struggled to find good jobs. We both worked PT while we looked for FT jobs. I got pregnant so I stopped looking for awhile. We were living in my parent's home at the time. After living with them for 3 months, they kicked us out for no reason (actually, one of my sister who was living there said either we go or she goes and my parent's said we should go...even though I was 5 months pregnant and extremely sick from it--that sister also moved out 3 months later so I don't understand why she wanted us out so bad).

We moved out unprepared for anything. There were days when we only had $20 in our checking account. No savings of any kind. I mentioned it to my family who pretty much just said, "That's too bad." They talked about the fund things they did and we were left to just...I don't know...realize our bad luck? It was hard to be around them with them knowing how broke we were. They would say things like, "You should try this or that..." and I would say, "I can't afford it." And they would say, "Oh...well, you should try it when you have the money 'cause it's a lot of fun."

Husband's parents helped us pay some bills because there were a few months in which we had no money. I wanted husband to sell his truck (he bought it for work but he no longer did that kind of work). I had a car too but I paid if off during college.

One of my sister's did lend us some money for our wedding. She was the one that said, "Either you go or I'll go" when we were living with parents. I think she regretted what she did and wanted to help us. We had a small wedding...$7K and no honeymoon.

We had another baby. There's 5 years between the first and second. We would have wanted them closer in age but financially there was no way. At this time, I was working FT so husband could go to school FT. He worked PT (16hrs a week or less). Our kids were in daycare and it was not the best daycare so I worried a lot (my older child...who is now 9 went through so much). My family and husband's family were not willing to help with mon-fri sitting and only his parents were willing to watch twice a year and only for important things, like if I had an early work meeting or husband and my anniversary (which would be dinner so only couple of hours otherwise they'd get really upset and refuse to watch again).

Husband graduated 2 years ago and now makes 6 digits. Since he graduated, I quit my job to be home with our 2 kids. It is a blessing and a pleasure to be home and watch our kids grow and take them to school and all their extracurricular activities. But, the journey is what I remember. It still hurts sometimes when I see how my parents watch my brother's 3 kids all day 24-hrs on end and how my siblings get all excited and happy when they tell me how much fun it was to take my brother's kids out to a movie or babysit them. They never did that with my 2 kids. They never asked or offered and when I did ask when my kids were the same age as my brother's, they said they were too busy and couldn't do it.

...but I'm happy because I have 2 kids that love me and my husband is the most wonderful-est person I know. He works hard and loves hard.

Last edited by moonangel; 11-07-2011 at 08:09 PM.
moonangel is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-01-2011, 08:16 PM   #25 (permalink)
Registered User
 
Join Date: Dec 2011
Posts: 1
Default Re: Any success stories from couples that have made it from poverty??

whom ever said money can't buy happiness hasn't been poor, lol.
gohereall is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-05-2011, 05:51 AM   #26 (permalink)
Registered User
 
Join Date: Dec 2011
Posts: 25
Default Re: Any success stories from couples that have made it from poverty??

I live in 3rd world country, so I bet most people still consider that I live in poverty lol.

But here's my story anyway
I came for average family, I'm the first of three. He too came from average family, the youngest of two.
By the time we got married, we were starting from scratch. Lucky for us that we didn't have to pay some mortgage; he had the house already. It's not big or fancy, but it's enough for 4 of us (2 humans, 2 dogs, hahahaha)

In the 4th months of marriage, by some saving he had, he ran a recording project just to be burnt for approx.3,5K USD [I'll use the conversion here]. It was a HUGE amount of money for newlywed. Plus a friend burnt us too regarding to the project. This problem resolved later, though. At the mean time, he ran another project, again, we burnt.
I wasn't mad at him, because I knew he was only trying his best. Those dirtbags are the guilty one, not my husband.

By that time I was working as an editor for a magazine. Not much of the salary, but a lot for the extras that I rarely used (freebies from high end boutiques, spas, etc; which I wasn't interest into).
First two years was hard. We had his parents helped us with some financial issues. Not that we were spent much, the money we had just covered basic needs and we were busting our as* to save some money. Money was tight, he had some projects here and there to manage our needs. He's not the type of an employee, and truthfully, neither of us.

Lucky enough we both never planned for a child,so there's no extra expenditure.

By the time we hit 3rd year of marriage, he started his own business, different from the first ones. With some leftover in the saving, he bought some PCs, camera and those gadget-things. Things are getting better. I then quit my job to help him. But then I got my own clients, so I started my own business.

So now we manage to save most of our income, and we don't spend a lot; sometimes he'd let me buy designer bags or some girls' stuff if our balance is good.We join a gym together and membership in a spa&resort nearby.

We still ride that ugly scooter if it's not raining; car is only for long distance traveling, live in the same house, have another dog, and buy things we need for work. We have no debts, have no maxed card (never use it anyway), so we're quite happy with our financial. If we want something costs rather expensive, we'd save for couple of months before finally have the money to buy it.

But nothing is free, I guess. We both work from home, each day is ++12hrs of work. We're beat hahahaha. So the sex department started to have issues. We're still working the kinks, so wish us luck

Last edited by FurryFluffy; 12-05-2011 at 06:11 AM.
FurryFluffy is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Any 180 success stories???? reallyover? Reconciliation 306 06-16-2013 08:59 AM
Any success stories? kris75 Considering Divorce or Separation 1 11-01-2012 11:20 AM
180 success stories? gnarlmen Coping with Infidelity 1 05-04-2012 04:06 PM

Member Area

Find a Therapist:


Sponsor Ads





Get The Family & Marriage Counseling Directory Help Guide via Email:
Name:
Email:




All times are GMT -5. The time now is 10:26 AM.



Copyright 2007 - 2013 © Talk About Marriage