Husband doesn't hustle, doesn't set financial goals - Talk About Marriage
Financial Problems in Marriage When financial times are tough, it adds to the stress we deal with on a daily basis. This section is for talking about how financial problems affect our relationships and ways to cope.

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post #1 of 4 (permalink) Old 12-10-2015, 12:29 AM Thread Starter
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Question Husband doesn't hustle, doesn't set financial goals

How do you deal when you're married to a man who doesn't hustle?

I am the one earning to meet the family's needs. I am very motivated, driven and I like to think big. My husband is taking care of a business (which startup funds we borrowed from my parents). The business has been running for 2 years now and it's not growing, while I work 2 jobs.

My jobs are our sole sources of income. At this stage, the business is not gaining any profit. Every time I ask him about his plans for our business (a mini-grocery store), he does not have a specific plan.

I find it difficult to be dealing with a partner who is not as motivated as I am. I think that if we hustle on the same level, we can achieve pretty great things. I've tried talking to him about improving himself and to set goals, but he acts as if he deals with life one day at a time. He is too spontaneous and he does not have direction in life.

We only live in a one-bedroom flat. It would be great to build wealth and success together, but he does not work as hard as I do, therefore he does not have the same amount of income as I do. In fact, he does not have a solid income at all from the business because the money that it makes is just enough to break even. I told him that maybe he needs to try a different approach, but we always end up fighting / arguing as our business principles clash.

Sometimes I feel like I am his mom who's feeding him and looking after his future. I also feel that he is a burden financially, because he simply cannot contribute to bill payments or savings. He does not like not having money in his wallet, so he takes the loose change or a few bucks. He is a caring spouse. He does most of the household chores but sometimes complains because he does most of the cleaning and the laundry. He is a good dad to our child.

How do I set boundaries of providing for him? How do I make him want success bad enough?

Last edited by macey8; 12-11-2015 at 02:06 AM.
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post #2 of 4 (permalink) Old 12-10-2015, 12:32 AM
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Re: Husband doesn't hustle, doesn't set financial goals

Sit down together and come up with a 2-5 year plan.
Look at the options for the business, is it workable, can it turn a profit?
Set deadline for it to be profitable, if not close it down and ask him to consider what he will do to earn money.
Tell him that in the medium to long term this is a deal breaker. No man should sit on his but while his wife slogs to put a roof over his head, something wrong with this picture.
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post #3 of 4 (permalink) Old 12-15-2015, 05:53 PM
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Re: Husband doesn't hustle, doesn't set financial goals

You can't set rules and limitations to force him to behave a certain way, well you can buy it probably won't work. Running a business can be depressing at times, especially when you consider that most businesses don't see profits until year 3 or 4. Just be supportive and encouraging and offer idea's more than criticism. Also ask him if this is what he really wants to do. He may just be stuck right now, and feel obligated to push forward because he borrowed the money from your parents.
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post #4 of 4 (permalink) Old 12-17-2015, 01:42 PM
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Re: Husband doesn't hustle, doesn't set financial goals

you are only two years into this. a mini grocery store?

think about it, it takes a while for something like that to take off. first, people have to get into a habit of going there. think about it... when was the last time you went grocery shopping at a brand new grocery store? if you are like most people, you are going to go to create a list of things you know you need, and then you will go to the place that you know has all of them. the fact that it is a mini grocery store makes it even more difficult since it wont have everything. people will typically go to the nearest place that has what they are looking for, and if they haven't stopped in the store yet, they probably wont be checking it out when they actually need something. they will probably only go in they have some time to kill.

before i comment on how to motivate your husband, why don't you tell us what he has done to try and boost business. what are his ideas on how to do it? what are his ideas that you disagree with? how much "new" traffic does it get, how much repeat?

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