Re: Financial Arrangement for Stay at Home Mom
Sae761, I live in Canada, and my soon to be ex husband seems to have some personality as yours.
When our daughter was born and I lost my source of income, I was financially abused - my ex did not share his income. Although he paid rent and utilities, bought groceries, he gave me absolutely no money. So, i had no money for my own clothing, food that I'd like, make up, personal hygiene stuff etc.
When our daughter was just 5 months old I had to get part time job so I could have paid my own bills without building debts.
In one year I had a full time job and I become financially independent. Suddenly my ex remembered that we were married and wanted to control my expenses without showing any of his.
So, speaking about getting help, I was desperate and depressed before I got a job, applying to any kind of social services, legal aid and help to abused women. Majority of them were useless.
The only help you can get there is compassion, chit-chat - lots of blablabla, counselling (same blablabla) and references to other organizations. Most of those references were wrong or not working. Legal help was completely basic - something you can google yourself.
As long as abuse is not physical, it's very hard to prove. So, you may not be qualified for women shelter (maybe it's for better as it's not very nice place to be). You may be qualified for financial assistance if you leave your husband, but the amount is so small, not even enough for rent unless it's a basement or other shared living.
What your husband does to you is a big red flag. It's not going to be any better. Maybe I am too sour due to my experience, but I'd advise to get a job as soon as possible and not to rely on social services.