Re: Not on the same ledger, never have been
A budget will actually free you and encourage you and your wife once you see your money growing.
We were $30K in debt a year ago. My husband's company picked up and left town and transferred everyone out of state, so he had to take a lower paying job to stay near home. We didn't know if we'd even be able to make ends meet.
Out of fear and desperation, we listened to Dave Ramsey, made a budget, and have not only paid off $11,000 of our debt in a year, but we have saved $ for other expenses. We even have an envelope for Birthday Gifts, and even for Black Friday. We put an agreed amount into those envelopes every month and don't go into debt for those things, yet still can pay our debt and save for other things.
When the money is gone in an envelope, we don't spend anymore in that category...until next month, when more money is put in the envelope.
Our food budget is $5 per person per day. We split up the money in 4 envelopes, each lasting for 8 days, not 7. That way we have plenty of money for food the last week (31 day months) When we run out of money for the week, we stop buying food. If we don't have milk for a day or two, we don't care...we aren't accruing debt. We never eat out, but when our debt is paid, we are going to eat out, and make an envelope for eating out, and never overspend.
Once your wife listens to Dave, she will hopefully begin to soften.