Re: Feeling financially used by wife.
NewBMan, you have every right to be upset. I dealt with the same issues in my marriage. I made more than my ex and never expected anything from her (my bad!) as far as paying the bills. I paid all of the household bills - mortgage, second, utilities, insurance, phone, internet, cell service and TV. In addition, I paid for our daughters education and paid my step son's insurance and cell phone bills throughout college. I learned early on not to bother asking her for any money if I thought I was going to be short. Anytime I did, I was told how she was pretty short herself and didn't have any to give. Towards the end, she had bought a brand new car and she paid it off in a year. I didn't mind since she had promised that we would do the same for me once hers was paid off. Of course, it was right around that time that she decided she didn't want to be married anymore. So that plan went out the window along with everything else.
Bottom line is you need to set boundaries and enforce them. I now know, that that was something I should have been doing all along. Instead I got taken to the cleaners because I thought I was doing the right things. In the meantime she was p1ssing away her $55k salary on new clothes, trips with her girl friends and other frivolities. She even blew the $4000 she was supposed to be saving for our daughters wedding.
You have every right to be concerned. You have an unbalanced arrangement and it is not fair that she should expect you to just take care of it.
At the center of every moMEnt of my life is ME!