Wife or roommate - Talk About Marriage
Financial Problems in Marriage When financial times are tough, it adds to the stress we deal with on a daily basis. This section is for talking about how financial problems affect our relationships and ways to cope.

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post #1 of 16 (permalink) Old 03-30-2016, 11:16 AM Thread Starter
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Wife or roommate

So we have been married about 6 months, two months in she stopped helping with bills (rent, utilities, food).

She had taken some sick time without pay but does work .

I have stated she is not a partner cause se does not help , her reply seems to be z husband should support his wife, do you want a roommate of a wife?

Really?

I believe she should be helping.

(Sometimes I think - roommate hmmm maybe kept women trading sex for rent - can't believe I said that but...)

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post #2 of 16 (permalink) Old 03-30-2016, 11:50 AM
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Re: Wife or roommate

You said you were divorcing her. Get your story straight.

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Originally Posted by IrishQ View Post
Hi, first post, realize it's not a good sign to be here but...

So I got married, I believe thru coercion. Now I'm ready to file for divorce and walk away.

Been married just over 5 months, things are ok at times but they can get to firework stage fast. I believe, due to my underlining resentment.

My GF at the time gave me an ultimatum, alluding to possibility of being pregnant, get engaged by end of August 2015 or if pregnant she would move back to northeast and never keep kid from contact.

Wanting to do the right thing, I folded, I asked her to marry me, she rushed a Sept wedding and bam done.

Two weeks later she looks pregnant. Belly, morning sickness but negative tests. Negative ultrasounds.

Three docs say not pregnant, neg blood tests, neg ultrasounds.

I really feel stupid and played.

Here we are 5 months later, still with belly and morning sickness.

Paperwork is filed everything is in the works.

She says you had been looking for love and marriage, what difference does it make how we got here. I love you.

Thoughts?

People don't get a free pass to cheat just because their marriage sucks.

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post #3 of 16 (permalink) Old 03-30-2016, 11:57 AM
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Re: Wife or roommate

I believe that you should be combining your incomes no matter who makes what and pay the bill from that account. There may be times when you are out of work and she is paying the majority of the bills or she is out of work or is staying home with your children and you are paying the majority of the bills. That's called marriage. Supporting each other. She is still your wife and partner either way. You want a roommate, not a wife.
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post #4 of 16 (permalink) Old 03-30-2016, 11:58 AM
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Re: Wife or roommate

Are you venting or asking for advice?

What happened to the divorce filing paperwork?
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post #5 of 16 (permalink) Old 03-30-2016, 12:00 PM
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Re: Wife or roommate

You need to keep your laundry all in one basket, dude.

From Feb 23:
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So I posted here before and mentioned my main issue. My wife wants to seek help from a counselor.

She's very spiritual, I am not.

The "mental health" descriptor of the guy is not a road to go down.

Thoughts on counseling?

(I still want out, I believe I was coerced into marriage and I believe she wants to be fully supported, she has not contributed to household in a few months - even a $100 is ok if she is short- but nothing comes in. I also believe she has spent money on psychics.)
March 14:
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So before we got married (mistake) my wife asked me to pay $200 for a hair cut n style n color. I said "you work, you pay".

She didn't like that


I think she lied about how much she made, she
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People don't get a free pass to cheat just because their marriage sucks.

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post #6 of 16 (permalink) Old 03-30-2016, 12:01 PM
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Re: Wife or roommate

Quote:
Originally Posted by IrishQ View Post
So we have been married about 6 months, two months in she stopped helping with bills (rent, utilities, food).

She had taken some sick time without pay but does work .

I have stated she is not a partner cause se does not help , her reply seems to be z husband should support his wife, do you want a roommate of a wife?

Really?

I believe she should be helping.

(Sometimes I think - roommate hmmm maybe kept women trading sex for rent - can't believe I said that but...)
Accept her rules but insist she has daily sex with you. Or does her definition of wife mean once a month?

I am serious. If she wants the traditional wife role than she must play the traditional wife role.
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post #7 of 16 (permalink) Old 03-30-2016, 12:02 PM
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Re: Wife or roommate

She should be pregnant, barefoot, and in the kitchen. Really pregnant, not fake pregnant.

People don't get a free pass to cheat just because their marriage sucks.

Our R
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post #8 of 16 (permalink) Old 03-30-2016, 12:16 PM Thread Starter
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Divorce papers had been filed, I agreed to put on hold. 4 weeks ago I spoke to attorney and said "go go go", moved out was living in hotels.

She called / yadda yadda yadda / I'm pregnant (hearing that for months)

Back in apartment

Waiting for answer

Crazy

Yes

I just need an answer

Doc appt in two weeks

She took home test was positive

Took another 3 in box

Think one was positive but other negative. Not sure of third one .

Saw third one in box, now gone and she said tests taken days before so timing seems off or lies

New box of three in house

One used

Won't tell me results.

Wants me to love her for her not because she is pregnant
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post #9 of 16 (permalink) Old 03-30-2016, 12:19 PM
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Re: Wife or roommate

She sounds very manipulative. With or without child, she needs to hit the road. If she seriously thought she was pregnant she would run to a doctor and get real proof and rub it all day in your face.
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post #10 of 16 (permalink) Old 03-30-2016, 12:21 PM Thread Starter
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I'm venting

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post #11 of 16 (permalink) Old 03-30-2016, 12:24 PM Thread Starter
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Frustrated

Just trying to keep things together til I have a solid answer
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post #12 of 16 (permalink) Old 03-30-2016, 12:28 PM
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Re: Wife or roommate

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Frustrated

Just trying to keep things together til I have a solid answer
You need an answer?

She's a controlling bat. There it is. Would a child change that fact? She'd just be a bat with a child. Do you imagine you're going to have any control or influence over a child in your home? If there is a kid he/she will only be a witness to your increasing subjugation.
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post #13 of 16 (permalink) Old 03-30-2016, 12:35 PM
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Re: Wife or roommate

IrishQ, you are allowing her to control you. You weren't forced into marriage. You chose to marry. Now you have become codependent. Research that and cut ties with her. File
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post #14 of 16 (permalink) Old 03-30-2016, 12:37 PM
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Re: Wife or roommate

"Three docs say not pregnant, neg blood tests, neg ultrasounds." There is your solid answer.

As long as you keep having sex with her without a condom, she is going to claim being pregnant or "just got pregnant".

Go to a wholesale club and buy the Preg tests in bulk. You are going to need them, plus with the money saved she can get her $200 haircut. Oh, and buy the condoms in bulk too. At least one a day will be needed since she wants to be a traditional wife.

Is your wife Irish too? Just curious.
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post #15 of 16 (permalink) Old 03-30-2016, 02:30 PM
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Re: Wife or roommate

So what if she IS pregnant? She is a total nightmare - manipulative, lying, useless. Why in gods name do you want to stay married to THAT?!?!

She has discovered your GO INTO ORBIT button, which is to tell you she's pregnant. You seem to completely lose any semblance of intelligence when she tells you that. She has your neck in a noose and she's leading you around by it.

Move out TODAY. NEVER have sex with her again (if she wasn't pregnant before she very well could be now and you have NO idea if you're even the father) Restart the divorce TODAY. Do not answer her calls, texts, emails, door knocks, IM's, facebook messages, or messages in a bottle. DO NOT SPEAK TO HER IN ANY WAY WHATSOEVER EVER AGAIN. You need a lawyer or she's going to end up roping you into years of financial ruin and heartache.

People don't get a free pass to cheat just because their marriage sucks.

Our R
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