10-13-2011, 05:43 PM
Join Date: Aug 2011
| | Re: Husband gives money away
We have a cross-cultural marriage, and this was something we negotiated up front: when do and do we not help.
So, can you ask your husband to agree to set some boundaries as to what sort of events ought to involve him helping and what sort do not? You can maybe approach this as wanting to be sure that when they really need help you two can offer it. If all your money is gone to cell phones and cable then you won't be able to pay for the ambulance. Perhaps a dollar limit of how much help is appropriate for non-emergencies and a definition of emergencies?
We have the rule that we will help, as much as we can, with medical emergencies, for any relative. We will not fund toys and lifestyle items such as cell phones, computers, etc, except to a certain limit and only to his parents. It's the culture: sons are their parents' retirement.
My husband didn't see how much he was asked for/giving until we agreed there would be a limit on it. "I only sent $50." He's not one for adding up totals. This occasionally drives me nuts--yes, $5 repeatedly at the fast food place will overdraft the account, even if it is only $5. Duh. So a budget, agreed on, is a necessity. Your husband might be wired the same way.