Question about situation II - Talk About Marriage
Financial Problems in Marriage When financial times are tough, it adds to the stress we deal with on a daily basis. This section is for talking about how financial problems affect our relationships and ways to cope.

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post #1 of 3 (permalink) Old 05-01-2016, 08:38 PM Thread Starter
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Question about situation II

Its been a while since posting on this topic and i have another situation I was hoping to get an opinion on.

As you may recall.. I just recently finished med school, starting residency and finally will be making income. To this point i have been supporting family through credit line, loan, scholarships. Wife works very part time, is taking a class and does all the kids stuff (2kids). Original plan was i would support fam with loans and starting residency she would chip in to make up budget shortfall.

Thats when it came to a head when last month she through her hands up and said i dont know how to contribute with 1000$.

I understand, its hard to find work while kids in scholl and my schedule being unpredictable.

I suggested changing vehicle, did the math negotiated and got us into hyundai saving 500/month! Thus we only needing 500 from her contribution!

I proposed models to her to involve her and we decided upon hyundai. I thought all was good as the numbers made sense i bargained hard and there is a promo going on!

Then today she found out it was manual transmission when we were picking it up. And she blew up.

I Cant beleive the blow up!

Afterall i asked her to do research on specific models i found that were most cost effective all of which are manual. Our current jeep was manual, 3 cars before were too, she drives very well!

I feel deflated because i feel there was a financial problem, she indicated she does not know what to do. So i got into action, found this opportunity, and managed to save 500/month.

I feel it again is not my issue that she is upset, she could have done research on those cars, as all base models are manaual, she never asked and i didnt think its an issue as that is what we are driving now - i though $ was the main goal.

Feeling a bit upset too. Its easy to point and say i want this, not this etc... But more difficult to actually take action, get out, and do research, negotiate, and bring an opportunity for the family.

Any opinions on all this? Am i out to lunch and totally wrong, if so where? If anything I thought this would be great mews for the fam allowing to keep working PT snd taking her class - instead the weekend was ruined she is upset (denying it) and not talking/silent treatment

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post #2 of 3 (permalink) Old 05-01-2016, 09:22 PM
Join Date: Mar 2014
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Re: Question about situation II

I think getting a less expensive car is a great idea so she doesn't have to work as many hours. If her previous cars weren't a manual transmission then I could understand her blow up ( I would be upset because I don't know how to drive a manual transmission car) but it sounds like she has driven manual transmissions before. Can you get a less expensive car that is an automatic? You might have to get an older car. That way you are still saving money and she gets an automatic.
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post #3 of 3 (permalink) Old 05-01-2016, 09:54 PM
Join Date: Jun 2011
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Posts: 2,035
Re: Question about situation II

My opinion.... when times are tight, you have to suck it up. She knows how to drive a manual, and even if she didn' would benefit her financially to learn quick.

I don't understand why she is not being more supportive of "the plan" and of your effort to save money.

MAYBE she feels unappreciated? MAYBE she feels like she is giving (to the family) 110% and is frustrated?

I think you are on the right track. I just think it will take some more communication to understand where she is coming from.
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