wife wants to get paid for housework
Hello all, first of all sorry for my english..
My wife and i have been married for 6 years and live in a 3br house in NY with no kids. I am a small business owner and i pay for all the mortgage, property taxes, utility, food, cars, insurances, groceries, any and all expenses which is well over $5k/month. I also pay for my wifes school loan, her credit card debts etc and we dine out atleast 3-4 times a week which costs about atleast $80 each time. My wife doesnt work and she stays home and does dishes, laundry pretty much most of the chores for two of us.
Now, she wants to get payed 40k a year $800/week from me for her doing the most chores. She found something on google that housewives work is worth more than 50k a year and she is serious, and tells me she is giving me discount that since im paying all the bills. We have a joint account that we use and she says she doesnt want to use the money because she thinks that is my money and i always say that is our money and you can use it on whatever u want and necessary stuffs and we discuss on big purchases. I dont care on giving my wife the money she wants since i always thought whatever we have or make is ours since we are one as a couple. It is obvious that she wants her own money (that she doenst have to think about or telling me etc.) i really hate her calculating each things, whos doing more house work etc. I already told my wife about the facts( calculating) that i hate about. I never cared about whos paying for mortgages, paying all the expenses myself until now, i even hate the fact that i started calculating because of her. When my wife gets angry at me and says y arent u doing anything and not doing any house work! Most of the time i say oh sorry, but when i try to defend myself and say "i did the garbage, did vacuum that day, did this* and that* etc and paying for everything!" Then i become a cheap bastard. She always had problem that she does most of the house chores but i really suck at it and whenever i tried to help, she says please dont do it because it will not meet her expectations. We both agreed while back that i do vacuum 2 time a week and scrub the toilet but it never gets dirty since my wifes cleanliness expectations are too high that she almost everytime does it. By doing these calculations between us, our relationship is getting further away. I do not understand my wife and what to do. Is it me that whos messed up and wrong?
Any input will help! Thanks.