None of your problems are permanent. Death is. And would leave your daughter with HIM, an irresponsible person.
I have started over from nothing before. While it's not the best place to be, it's not the worst. My ex was always using a credit card to pay one and as soon as he got a windfall it was spent on a toy or barely catching up. When I left him he'd already taken out all of my 401k at another employer, we had no savings and had lost our main home to foreclose (but he had a Mercedes at 23% interest!) and were living in our rental home. 9 months later I find out it was foreclosed on. He stopped paying the mortgage the month I moved out and I didn't know it. Why didn't he even try to sell it? Spite? I'll never know.
So I started over at 35 with nothing and a 4y/o. But every month I knew where every penny was coming from and where ever penny was going. And it was wonderful, even when I struggled.
He's not being emotionally supportive, he's not being financially supportive. If he doesn't figure this out and you loose it all, you need to keep your sanity and your children.
Get control of the situation. Think of 3 different scenarios to solve the problems even if that solution is bankruptcy. Because 10 years from now that bankruptcy will be gone and you have a new lease on life.
I'm sorry you are losing so much but it's only money. And yes, it's a lot of money and it sucks to struggle. But at least you'll be dealing with a known factor. You know what your options are - good and bad. At least if you choose a path, there is light at the end of the tunnel, even if it's a long tunnel.
I'd say cut ties with all of it and move on. Consult two attorneys: one who understands business contracts and what recourse you may have against your husband's company and another for divorce. You may find you can get more assets in a divorce by suing his company to pay yours. Or something. I don't know, that's why you consult someone.
Nothing made me feel so good as ACTION because at least I was doing something about the problem and action is positive.
Cry, scream and take a few deep breaths. Decide what the first step is. I would think making an appointment with an attorney to determine your financial liability on the contract and what your options for recourse are. Then go from there. Right now you need to be in business mode. Read up here on the 180 and how to do it. It will help you emotionally detach from him so you can focus on what needs to be done.
You are a business woman! Take care of business!