Wife's Contribution - Page 2 - Talk About Marriage
Financial Problems in Marriage When financial times are tough, it adds to the stress we deal with on a daily basis. This section is for talking about how financial problems affect our relationships and ways to cope.

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post #16 of 80 (permalink) Old 11-30-2011, 09:45 AM
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Re: Wife's Contribution

My wife and I both work full time and earn comprable salaries. We also split household and child rearing duties fairly equally, though differently (i.e. she cooks and cleans inside more than I, but I do all the laundry, ironing and maintain our property). I get the kids ready for and to school every morning, she takes care of them after school and until I get home, which is usually

For us, at least, it works better that way than having one responsible for earning the money and another resonsible for the "domestic" duties. We're equal partners in every facet of our marriage/family.

Perhaps it's just me, but I find the "old school" notion that a guy has to go earn the money and his wife has to stay at home and raise the kids to be antiquated and unfair to both spouses. Or at least it would be for us. But whatever works for you is what you should do.

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post #17 of 80 (permalink) Old 12-01-2011, 03:35 PM
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Re: Wife's Contribution

Well, for my wife and I, this very question has ended us in a very bad spot. We have 8 years together and the first 6 years we did not have kids and I have always been the breadwinner, not that I didn't encourage her to be ambitious and get out there get that dream job or start that dream business.

From my prospective, even being the breadwinner, doesn't mean you are contributing the most to the family and for me personally I could be making millions/year and still not be contributing enough to the family in the eyes of my wife.

This is to say, money takes care of the bills and pays for amenities, but in my house, you better believe that as soon as I get off of work, I too have an equal role in the chores and upbringing of the little ones. Spending time with my girls and eating dinner and reading them to sleep is the highlight of my day, but the other household chores that I must endure, I must say I could do without.

If I sit for 30 mins to watch a football game or television show to "relax," the wife is not having that and gives me the iron, lol. She says multitasking, I say multitask your ass out there and get a job, lol.

Funny, but in all seriousness, the breadwinner (often the male) does have a huge weight to burden, but for me I welcome it, that is the role that I see myself full-filling, but I'm not old fashion by any means. I welcome or even challenge my wife to contribute equally financially (at least in the proximity), because from my perspective, I contribute at least 40% of the household/daily chores/child rearing and her financial contribution would be around 20% with a 60% in house, which comes to 80% in comparison to my 40% + 80%, so who's in this relationship 100%?????

Yeah I'm a bit bitter!!!:

Yeah wives (some) do the math
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post #18 of 80 (permalink) Old 12-01-2011, 04:48 PM
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Re: Wife's Contribution

My H works full time and makes @ 6 times my salary. I work 50+ hours/week, sometimes working 2 weeks straight without a day off.

I do the shopping, all the cooking, pay the bills, do the laundry, and up until last month, when I hired someone to come in a couple times monthly, I did all the cleaning, too. His 2 teenage children live with us full time. I try to get a little help from them, but that's another story.

My husband cuts the grass in summer and plows snow in winter, and then does as he pleases.

I recently (like this week) have asked him to start doing his own laundry and start paying the bills. I have so many things to do, I can do none of them well.

Not all wives do math your way. Some of us do more.
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post #19 of 80 (permalink) Old 12-05-2011, 06:16 AM
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Re: Wife's Contribution

Quote:
Originally Posted by unreal View Post
Hi,

I am looking for ladies views on making financial contributions towards the household bills. We all know men are the breadwiners of the home however prices can rise and jobs and income can low or bust.

Do you either contribute to the household financial or blame your man for not providing or leave? Personally, from what I hear most women not all either blame him and do nothing and leave.
I contribute to the household financial, even it;s not as much as he does.
I make half of his income, work quite as much as he does [unfaiir!! but heck he has deeper pocket clienteles hahaha]. But i love what I do, and it's a luxury I enjoy wholeheartedly.

I do the house chores, and by agreement (he said that he doesn't want me to get too tired), we have a house cleaner coming 5 days a week. but I do still do the laundry, cooking, feed the dogs etc.

I guess he provides me more than enough, and I contribute my part in this house financial to cover some small-things-but-necessary and some of my girls' needs, even I never spend without his approval and vice versa.

Last edited by FurryFluffy; 12-05-2011 at 06:21 AM.
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post #20 of 80 (permalink) Old 12-07-2011, 12:37 AM
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Re: Wife's Contribution

When my husband worked we made about the same amount. All of our income went into our joint a account and all bills were paid from there.

He was layed off a long time ago and had never found work again. I have become the sole income earner.

I'm pretty pissed about it because I believe that he needs to be working.
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post #21 of 80 (permalink) Old 12-12-2011, 03:12 AM
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Re: Wife's Contribution

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Originally Posted by FirstYearDown View Post
Here the poster quotes a report that states women make 80 percent of what men make on average - quite a closing of the gap considering differences in career choices, etc. This seems fairly consistent with the notion that women tend to contribute financially today. Where I live most middle-income families have two incomes.

Unfortunately my wife's decision not to contribute financially has left us $4,000 in debt and with no savings ... it is certainly a source of stress ...

Last edited by mc75; 12-12-2011 at 03:17 AM.
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post #22 of 80 (permalink) Old 12-12-2011, 02:36 PM
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Re: Wife's Contribution

If you have kids, men should be the bread winners so women can raise the kids.
Women should be capable of supporting the family should the man skip out or keal over.
But, someone has to raise the kids and ideally, its a parent and its the mom.
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post #23 of 80 (permalink) Old 12-12-2011, 03:05 PM
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Re: Wife's Contribution

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Originally Posted by Hope1964 View Post
Who says men are the breadwinners?? That's old school thinking. I make slightly more than my husband does, we are both 'breadwinners'. We each have certain things we pay for, we work together to make ends meet and ensure we have savings and entertainment money. He doesn't do it alone.
My thoughts exactly, considering I make more money than he does by a long shot. Although, we don't split bills or accounts, what is mine is his and vice versa.
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post #24 of 80 (permalink) Old 12-12-2011, 03:07 PM
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Re: Wife's Contribution

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Originally Posted by chattycathy View Post
If you have kids, men should be the bread winners so women can raise the kids.
Women should be capable of supporting the family should the man skip out or keal over.
But, someone has to raise the kids and ideally, its a parent and its the mom.
Uh NO. We split the parenting equally tyvm. He is quite capable of taking care of the kids as much as I can. I'm more likely to "keel over" before he does with my health issues (MS/Cardiac Patient/ now TN).

That's very old and archaic thinking.
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post #25 of 80 (permalink) Old 12-12-2011, 03:48 PM
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Re: Wife's Contribution

My husband begged me to quit my job, so the kids would be raised at home. After much thought, I quit 1 year after our child was born. Since then I broke my neck and I'm disabled due to pain. I've was out of work too long to collect disability to pay for medical bills. I'm not sure if I would of returned to work now the kids are in full time school if I wasn't disabled. My husband would never expect me to work. If my husband ever gets laid off, I will have to fight for disability. Right now we make sacrfices and my husband has 2 part time jobs along with the full time job. We pay $2000 a month just in health insurance alone. I'm very blessed to have my husband and I do not take anything for granted.
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post #26 of 80 (permalink) Old 12-12-2011, 04:44 PM
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Re: Wife's Contribution

Your post is uplifting, Your philosophy of taking nothing for granted is one I wish my wife would espouse. What could be more motivating for a husband to have a wife that loves him and takes nothing for granted, how could a man not respond to devotion like that?

Thank You
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post #27 of 80 (permalink) Old 12-12-2011, 09:37 PM
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Re: Wife's Contribution

Hmm. my H has the job, and I get paid to go to school. All the money goes into one place, and the quicker I get my classes done the quicker I can get a good job with benefits! All our money goes into one account. I get paid well to go to school. If he were to lose his job, we would find a way together, I am all about sharing the burden!
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post #28 of 80 (permalink) Old 12-13-2011, 06:37 AM
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Re: Wife's Contribution

I think my husband earns more than me but I paid out of my savings for our wedding, deposit on house, car, holidays, penisions and insurances (for past 6 years - I work in admin so average wages really). He pays for food. We share the mortgage and bills equally as well as night's out. It worries me as I have zero savings left now however I've always been insanely self sufficient and never agreed with women who expected men to pay - my husband and his mates even took to calling me the Banker at one point. Saying that though, I think I missed a trick as I never ever had a date where I didn't either pay or split it - mental note not to be so generous in next life!!
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post #29 of 80 (permalink) Old 12-13-2011, 06:40 AM
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Re: Wife's Contribution

ps - forgot to say, there's no trust fund or wealthy parents. I legally seperated from them at 15 which is why I am probably the way I am!
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post #30 of 80 (permalink) Old 12-14-2011, 12:50 AM
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Re: Wife's Contribution

Quote:
Originally Posted by DisappointedHusband View Post
Well, for my wife and I, this very question has ended us in a very bad spot. We have 8 years together and the first 6 years we did not have kids and I have always been the breadwinner, not that I didn't encourage her to be ambitious and get out there get that dream job or start that dream business.

From my prospective, even being the breadwinner, doesn't mean you are contributing the most to the family and for me personally I could be making millions/year and still not be contributing enough to the family in the eyes of my wife.

This is to say, money takes care of the bills and pays for amenities, but in my house, you better believe that as soon as I get off of work, I too have an equal role in the chores and upbringing of the little ones. Spending time with my girls and eating dinner and reading them to sleep is the highlight of my day, but the other household chores that I must endure, I must say I could do without.

If I sit for 30 mins to watch a football game or television show to "relax," the wife is not having that and gives me the iron, lol. She says multitasking, I say multitask your ass out there and get a job, lol.

Funny, but in all seriousness, the breadwinner (often the male) does have a huge weight to burden, but for me I welcome it, that is the role that I see myself full-filling, but I'm not old fashion by any means. I welcome or even challenge my wife to contribute equally financially (at least in the proximity), because from my perspective, I contribute at least 40% of the household/daily chores/child rearing and her financial contribution would be around 20% with a 60% in house, which comes to 80% in comparison to my 40% + 80%, so who's in this relationship 100%?????

Yeah I'm a bit bitter!!!:

Yeah wives (some) do the math
IT would be interesting to see how your wife would do the math.

HOw many hours a day is your wife taking care of kids, cleaning, cooking, etc?
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