Wife's Contribution - Page 6 - Talk About Marriage
Financial Problems in Marriage When financial times are tough, it adds to the stress we deal with on a daily basis. This section is for talking about how financial problems affect our relationships and ways to cope.

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post #76 of 80 (permalink) Old 03-10-2016, 03:20 PM
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Re: Wife's Contribution

Originally Posted by TheQueen View Post
You seem to be able to balance how being a SAHM makes you feel in terms of being financially dependent and recognizing & appreciating the hard work your husband puts in to provide for your family.

I'd like to know though, when it comes to feeling lazy, dependent, guilty to spend his hard earned money, kept etc; do YOU just feel that way or does he ever say/do anything or have an underlying attitude of any sort that evokes those feelings?

I'm just curious to know because I would like to pause my career to be a SAHM when I have children some day. I'd like to know if I do feel like that, would it be natural & internal and I'd just have to 'deal' with it?
I have been the breadwinner for 21 years. W a SAHM. Sometimes she feels like she never contributes. On the contrary, her contributions go a LONG way. Without her at home I could not do the things I do(workwise) to support the family. Further, my W is very conscientious of how money is spent at the grocery store. The house is not left to it's own devices with kids leaving lights on, doors open to heat the entire neighborhood and the refrigerator left open by the kids to cool the house. These are contributions that are priceless IMO. She does feel bad when spending money on herself. Not sure why. She has her own account and money is put there for spending on herself. Why not? I have spent some on myself and so should she.

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post #77 of 80 (permalink) Old 03-11-2016, 01:03 PM
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Re: Wife's Contribution

In my past marriage I worked full time, making about 65% of my ex's income.
He paid rent, I paid utilities and daycare. We both were buying groceries, both providing for our daughter. Everyone paid his/her own car, insurance, credit cards, clothing etc., provided for kids from previous marriages.
I did all housework and all childcare, he mowed the lawn. Both shoveled snow.
He always paid for nights out, but we both paid family vacations.

Ended up pretty bad. Ex felt used because his contribution into common expenses was bigger than mine (the rent was 3000/month while utilities just 800) and because I've never paid for nights out. My argument about my non-financial contribution was not accepted.
Ex husband wanted "equal" partnership, where both contribute 50% into common bills and everyone pays his/her personal expenses. Both do housework and childcare. I rejected because ex was messy and did not do well with children. So I would end up doing all myself or barking at him for poor quality. Besides I find unfair splitting bills equally when incomes are not equal.

if I ever consider another marriage, it will certainly not be the "equal partnership". I will be contributing less financially and more non-financially. Otherwise I don't feel like a woman.
That's my opinion, which I don't expect to be supported by everyone. 50/50 partnership is a roomate relationship to me, and I don't sleep with room mates.

Last edited by BeautyBeast; 03-11-2016 at 01:17 PM.
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post #78 of 80 (permalink) Old 03-26-2016, 05:09 AM
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Re: Wife's Contribution

Well..men aren't always the bread winners
I make way more than my husband.
I contribute more based on what I make but we are contributing equally in terms is percentages.

We treat each other with dinners out etc which comes from our own pocket not our household budget.

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post #79 of 80 (permalink) Old 03-26-2016, 07:11 AM
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Re: Wife's Contribution

Originally Posted by unreal View Post

I am looking for ladies views on making financial contributions towards the household bills. We all know men are the breadwiners of the home however prices can rise and jobs and income can low or bust.

Do you either contribute to the household financial or blame your man for not providing or leave? Personally, from what I hear most women not all either blame him and do nothing and leave.
I don't contribute financially to our day to day living expenses. I am a SAHM, yea I will admit to being that thing. My H is the sole breadwinner for the last 14 years.

My staying home enables him to do what he needs to do in order to earn more money for us. He does not have to worry about rushing home or taking time off to care for the kids. I have all the house stuff taken care of and the kids stuff.

I will never blame my man if I feel that he is not providing enough for us. If I feel that way and we were in a bad spot, I will get a job. I am an equal partner in this marriage and when the going gets tough, then, I would have to get going to find a job. I would not complain or blame him. He is doing the best he can.

If my H was a bum and not doing anything then, I would have a problem. But to complain about a hardworking man is low.

My job is to encourage and uplift my H. Not to bring him down and minimize the work he does.
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post #80 of 80 (permalink) Old 03-26-2016, 02:32 PM
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Re: Wife's Contribution

zombie thread. The OP has been gone for TAM for years. I'm locking the thread.

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