Re: Wife's Contribution
I do not contribute financially to our marriage. I did until our daughter was born and then I left my career to raise her (I worked over 50 hours a week). I couldn't bear to put her in daycare at 12 weeks old. My husband earns a very good living, although we did have to make some changes/sacrifices to be able to afford it. I saved for an entire year before having the baby so that I would have some money of my own-we had separate accounts and still do. He gives me $200 a month and I make some extra money with a home business now that my daughter is old enough for pre-school.
I don't spend any money on myself that is not my own. I don't get my hair done, go out with friends, and rarely buy new clothes because it makes me feel guilty to spend his money on frivolous things. I would never leave him if things got tough just because of money; any spouse that is responsible for the sole income of a family has a lot of weight on his/her shoulders, a lot of stress when things get tough! This is when they need their partners to be supportive the most! But would I put up with a spouse who was irresponsible and refused to do his best for his family? No way! If I have to go back to work at a full time job, I will.
I'm fortunate to have a capable husband that takes his responsibility for supporting us very seriously. As a person who has always been self-sufficient and hates to ask for help or rely on anyone, I've had to learn to learn to trust him but he's earned it by proving what a capable and responsible bread winner he is. I have complete faith in him, his ambition, and his career.
Doesn't mean we don't have our problems, I still feel guilty about not contributing, I still feel resentment for giving up control, and it kills me that I've given up my independence. I often feel inferior, dependent, powerless, guilty, lazy, kept, bored, suspicious, identity loss, useless, unappealing, alone, worthless, etc. I try not to dwell on those feelings and instead, be thankful that my husband has provided a great home for us. He works hard and smart, and I respect him for that!