When we got married, my wife and I set up a single, joint bank account into which all our money goes. There are no individual accounts. Years later, I’ve discovered she has withdrawn thousands of dollars from this joint bank account, and deposited it into an interest bearing deposit in her own name only. She didn’t tell me about this. When I asked her for an explanation, she told me she did it to earn higher interest, and that she put it solely in her name so she wouldn’t have to go to the trouble of getting my signature. We’ve taken out a number of such investments before, always in joint names. On no previous occasion have we done so without consulting.
Additionally, we had a simple arrangement for many years, ever since we were first married. Whomever gets home first collects the mail and opens it, no matter to whom it is addressed – my wife, myself, or both. This is not a formal arrangement, it is just the way it has been done. Again, after many years, my wife one day announced that she doesn’t want me to open her mail any more – and of course, she won’t open mine. Privacy, she says. I thought this odd, but didn’t make a fuss, and dutifully obeyed. My wife, however, on a number of occasions since has “accidentally” opened my mail.
I’m thinking that there is something going on here that I need to me concerned about. Do you agree, or am I being needlessly suspicious?
What I did is as follows:
- my wife and I both have our own bank accounts
- both accounts are joint spousal
- she works, has her bills and play money
- I work, have my bills and play money
- we both have our own cars
- we both have our own cell phones
- we both have our own credit cards
- joint spousal credit cards
- line of credit we both use
We can see all finances whenever we wish at any time.
I am the one to spend money on upgrades and repairs way more than she does. So I am the spender were as she is the frugal one.
We don't fight about money much, if at all.
I make sure the bills are paid early, investments go through and meet contractors for repairs and upgrades.
I don't go through my wife's emails or cell phone.
I don't check / open her mail either.
I only open all mail when it comes to finances.