child wants to quit school should i stop payments?

chaddyboy · 11-17-2011, 03:02 PM

ok i just been informed by my sons mother that our son has not been going to school since sept ugggg he usually only goes for 3 hours and seems he cant handle due to the fact he has anxitey issues but is on meds for it.he is 17 and i have been paying child support since he was 1 we were not togeather we just had a child after a fast courtship and we have been civil regarding payments and left the court system out of it.the issue i see is his home life,she has enabled him in every way both her and her mother have babied him since he was born eg in diapers since he was 5 soother untill 7 helps to get him dresses and the thing i hate the most is allowing him to run around in his underware in her apt at age 17 not cool at all .bottom line is she has no maternal or parenting skills i blame her soley for not pushing school allowing him to watch movie,playvideo games all night long what a waste.we live is southwestern ont so because we have no legal documentation regarding child support can i use a stop child support strong arm tactic to get him back in school.maybe she doesnt care i dont know she has her own issues but it seems she doesnt care about his future.so bottom line because we have no legal agreement and he current is out of school and is not quite 18 yet can i stop child support payment.

tacoma · 11-17-2011, 03:09 PM

Nope not until he's 18 should you stop payments Or she may get the courts involved.

I hope you have some kind of documentation showing that you have been paying regularly all these years
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Cherry · 11-17-2011, 03:10 PM

It's a little too late to be complaining of her parenting skills, don't you think? If she was that bad you should have taken her to court for custody of your son years ago. In any event, no, I don't think you should stop paying for support until he is 18 or whatever agreement you have, unless the support is paying for his schooling (i.e. private school). Just my opinion.

Hope1964 · 11-17-2011, 03:27 PM

Unless you have been there throughout the years and have been an involved father, you have no right to dictate how your son is raised or what is done with the money.

donewithit · 11-17-2011, 03:48 PM

chaddy boy i do have some sympathy for you. Our story is similar except is my husbands son. we cut of child support in July for the same reasons. BUT our son had turned 18...not in school..no job. BUT his birthmom sees fit to provide him with xbox live...and online gaming.

There was a fight. OH YES. but we also are using it as a bargaining chip to get him back in school. I have been putting the child support away and have let her know that we will pay it retroactive..IF and ONLY if..he is in school and shows a pattern of normal attendance. SO far. NOPE.

Ya. She hates us.

Until your son turns 18 there is nothing you can do. KEEP PAYING. It is your DUTY.

my husbands exwife told us that she couldnt support him on her own. we told her...cut his internet..cut his tv in room..that will save a few bux..if she still didnt think she could do it..he is WELCOME to move here (our other son from her lives here at 22) and WE will make sure he either gets his butt back in school or gets a full time job. believe me..he would be put out every morning at 8 and not allowed back till five. She thought that was cruel

I say it is reality. that is the normal hours people work or go to school. He can take his pick..but he would not be allowed to lounge around here all day in his boxers eating and playing video games..no KEY to the house for him till he shows he deserves it.

ladybird · 11-17-2011, 04:53 PM

Payments will stop when he is 18, doesn't matter if he is in school or not.

Hope1964 · 11-17-2011, 05:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ladybird

Payments will stop when he is 18, doesn't matter if he is in school or not.

Actually, in Canada, if the kid goes to post secondary, the payments don't necessarily stop. I just had a look at my own file, and my ex is still accruing arrears (he currently owes me $61,380.59 !!!!! ) even though my kids are 22, 20 and 17 and none are still in school. I think it depends on the agreement you have in place. If you stop at 18 she could still take you to court.