Re: Unmotivated to provide financially
Again, you want a certain outcome and you prove it through your actions and all he has is talk and you believe it. When action and talking does not align, his words become meaningless if he wants them to be true or not. He may want a house, but it is not enough to aim for. He may want children, but it is not enough to work for. He may be simply dragging you along and telling you what you want to hear as well as those actions also match with him doing nothing to reach his goals. He may simply be waiting for you to do all the work and when you have a career, then those things may be probable.
Plus, in terms of human behavior, one does not tend to change until there is enough feelings of discomfort as Ele stated for one to change. A person may be obese and they may change when the doctor tells them that they are at risk for diabetes, or when they have diabetes, a heart attack, whatever the consequences that are necessary to change. You do not know the level of discomfort it will take for him to change and the same actions tend to net the same results. Whatever you are currently doing, it is nearly improbable that it will work. It is like you are using a screwdriver to pound a nail and you find the results tedious. Imagine using a hammer instead but in this case, you do not know what stimulus to apply to alter what you want. He wants things, but does not want to work for it. Either he really does not or he would rather have someone else do it for him.
Either you have to accept that you will not have a nice home, vacations around the world, have children later in life or not at all,in order to stay married to him. You are the one making assumptions of him changing while I can make a prediction of what the outcome is so far. Everyday that goes by, my predictions are true based on prior behavior. When life throws him obstacles, he quits. He does not want his parents paying his bills you say, well he just accepted it and quit. He wants nice things, well he just gave up once one thing did not go well for him.
So, if you want to stay with him, you either accept him as he is and work towards those things on your own while he shares in your success. Hopefully he does not resent you and vice versa. If you really want children, home and traveling and and such, you have to take him out of that equation or make him a smaller variable. You have to make x amount more to cover what you want. If he makes 20k a year, you may have to make 50k a year to be comfortable. If you want children, you may have to wait until your mid-thirties and assume he is not just stringing you along without a real goal of children. If you have also read those posts, that has happened before and some people on here went childless because their partner strung them along. Oh, they did not cheat, steal and such either.
It is better to make plans on the assumption he will not change as you have years to back up that assumption. I can guess the sun will rise everyday because it has so far based on a pattern. Extreme example I know. I can assume that I am in great health because I take care of my health. Until I stop working out and eating junk food, then I can stop making that assumption. Your husband is the same in his disposition, behavior, so I can assume he is all talk at the moment.
I am such a tree hugger because it gives me wood!