yours mine ours accounts - Page 2 - Talk About Marriage
Financial Problems in Marriage When financial times are tough, it adds to the stress we deal with on a daily basis. This section is for talking about how financial problems affect our relationships and ways to cope.

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post #16 of 36 (permalink) Old 11-25-2016, 07:12 AM
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Re: yours mine ours accounts

Pay off your credit card. And pay more than the minimum on your student loan. We need to get YOU out if debt.

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post #17 of 36 (permalink) Old 11-25-2016, 01:44 PM Thread Starter
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Re: yours mine ours accounts

Update, he did pay thr bike payment I found. He is however not making paykents on his cc medical bill or bike insurance . ****. Is this grounds ti kick his butt out?
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post #18 of 36 (permalink) Old 11-25-2016, 02:03 PM
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Re: yours mine ours accounts

Get the book "Smart Couples Finish Rich". Get him to read it. You read it too. Then restructure your finances that way.

Each of you get an equal share of anything left over AFTER all bills are paid.

You need to get his credit report on a regular basis to make sure that he does not get a credit card that he runs up. Often people who operate as he does will do just this. And you would be responsible for it as much as he is.
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post #19 of 36 (permalink) Old 11-25-2016, 04:02 PM Thread Starter
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Re: yours mine ours accounts

Why just me?
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post #20 of 36 (permalink) Old 11-25-2016, 04:37 PM
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Re: yours mine ours accounts

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Why just me?


Because you are the responsible one that came here for advice. Your H is irresponsible to the point of threatening bankruptcy or bill collection.
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post #21 of 36 (permalink) Old 11-25-2016, 06:18 PM
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Re: yours mine ours accounts

Why just you? Because he doesn't care and there's no way to force him to.
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post #22 of 36 (permalink) Old 11-26-2016, 07:53 AM Thread Starter
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Re: yours mine ours accounts

Why is it so important for me to get out of debt, not him?
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post #23 of 36 (permalink) Old 11-26-2016, 09:06 AM
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Re: yours mine ours accounts

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Why is it so important for me to get out of debt, not him?


Children don't care about debt. Adults do.
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post #24 of 36 (permalink) Old 11-26-2016, 09:44 AM
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Re: yours mine ours accounts

If he hasn't made any payments on his student loans since July, I'd start researching that. If that's a federal student loan, I'm wondering if he will start seeing wage garnishments or a reduction in your income tax return next year.

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Why is it so important for me to get out of debt, not him?
You won't win this by taking on a "if he's not going to pay his bills, maybe I shouldn't pay mine either" attitude. And willingly letting the the bike get repoed is heading in that direction. If bills with your name on them go to collections and things start getting repoed, you could have a tough time getting an apartment if things go further south and you end up divorcing. Which isn't really fair to the kids.
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post #25 of 36 (permalink) Old 11-26-2016, 10:28 AM Thread Starter
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Re: yours mine ours accounts

That's not the attitude I have. Believe me I don't want that for myself or my kids. That bike is his priority apparently if hes paying that and nothing else. Im trying to set boundaries so he doesnt take advantage of me. Lesson learned on cosigning

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post #26 of 36 (permalink) Old 11-26-2016, 10:41 AM
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Re: yours mine ours accounts

I feel for you. I know you don't want to be his Mommy, taking over all of the bills and giving him an allowance to spend. Punishing him when he's bad. That's not what marriage is supposed to be right. You are supposed to be the wife to him, an equal partner...not the mother to a grown child.

Ask yourself if you can really see this working long term. He clearly cares so little about the financial issues that he's going to keep wrecklessly spending and you can't even trust him to pay bills.

What is he spending all of his money on?

Personally, I'd be making moves to let him know I'm done.
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post #27 of 36 (permalink) Old 11-26-2016, 10:46 AM
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Re: yours mine ours accounts

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That's not the attitude I have. Believe me I don't want that for myself or my kids. That bike is his priority apparently if hes paying that and nothing else. Im trying to set boundaries so he doesnt take advantage of me. Lesson learned on cosigning


Why was a cosign needed?
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post #28 of 36 (permalink) Old 11-26-2016, 10:48 AM Thread Starter
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Re: yours mine ours accounts

With his credit and income it wasnt enough to secure loan.
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post #29 of 36 (permalink) Old 11-26-2016, 11:05 AM
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Re: yours mine ours accounts

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Originally Posted by holsch View Post
That's not the attitude I have. Believe me I don't want that for myself or my kids. That bike is his priority apparently if hes paying that and nothing else. Im trying to set boundaries so he doesnt take advantage of me. Lesson learned on cosigning
And if the irresponsible man-child lets the insurance lapse on his beloved motorcycle and god forbid there's an accident, it won't be just him on the judgment papers when the court case is settled against you - it will be you right along with him as co-owner with that debt hanging over your head.

I'll also assume he has lousy credit if you had to cosign for a motorcycle loan. I mean, how much could that be - all of $15,000 and a bank wouldn't even trust him with that? Have you had the loan long enough where you might have established some positive payment history for him so you could consider refinancing it in HIS name only? Or has he screwed that up too with late payments? If he hasn't, it doesn't hurt to look into the possibility of having him get a loan for the balance. Of course, you'd have to be the one to look into it because he's got much more important things to do - like dig around in his ears with his car keys, scratch his ass, and watch imbecilic motorcycle videos on YouTube.

You're a saint.
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post #30 of 36 (permalink) Old 11-26-2016, 11:16 AM
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yours mine ours accounts

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With his credit and income it wasnt enough to secure loan.


So he had poor credit because of the way he managed money and wanted a toy he could not afford?
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