What is 'your' definition of Debt-free? This is our situation. A financial question.
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jasmine31
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jasmine31
Well said, except for the part I underlined. For some reason I find it so annoying that people seem to think they can have their own definitions for words - like what a word means is a matter of opinion! Debt is debt. Expenses are Expenses. People can (and do) say ignorant things all the time, but really there is only one definition for "Debt." (OK, I probably should look it up before I say something ignorant - there are probably multiple definitions - but the EXPENSE of rent is not one of them!But it doesn't really matter if someone has a different definition of debt. If you're happy with the lifestyle you have and proud to not have credit card, car, and mortgage payments, then be proud of it! I think you're doing very well keeping your expenses low and living below your means. So many people don't make that choice and end up in some real financial trouble.
True that. My partner has a lot of debt, because he owns three condos--all of which are rented out, so his tenants are paying off his debt for him. The first will be paid off within the next 5 years, I think, at which point, aside from taxes, it's just straight up income. Plus he has a decent amount of equity in each property.Being debt free is not always the best financial path. On your income I would be buying investment properties as a way to increase wealth. You may be debt free now but paying rent when you are at retirement age will be a terrible lifestyle, always at the mercy of the home owner, no security, no control over the cost of rent.
I am fairly debt free in that I own my share of our home (valued at over $2mil so that is good equity), I own my car, no personal debt, no credit cards, share portfolio, cash in the bank etc.
But I have mortgage debt on various investment properties (3 of them will be given to my kids in the near future). Other people, renters like you, are paying off my investments. They may be debt free too but I am the one that is increasing my wealth.
Yes if bought at the right time ad in the right place property can be a good investment. Some people have also a talent for spotting undervalued properties.Direct living expenses (ie, mortgage or rent) are typically not counted as 'debt'. You are debt-free by the standards of most people.
However, I strongly agree with the above posters that 'debt' can be used to your advantage. For instance, you asked why anyone would want to buy a house in California. My family bought a house in the early 1980s in what was then being developed as a high-end LA community (Rolling Hills Estates). At the time it cost somewhere in the upper $300k. When it was sold two decades later, it sold for somewhere around 3 million.
Paying rent will never give you equity in anything. It will never increase your wealth. It is a very safe plan, but if you don't take risks, you won't increase your wealth.
I have been buying and selling properties for years. When I bought the first one (a 200+ acre farm), I had to borrow money. So I was not debt-free. But when I sold it, I made a ton of money and used that money to buy another property, which I also flipped for a profit and which I didn't have to finance.... and on and on.
I also don't pay my bills the second I receive them. You don't get extra credit (no pun intended) by doing that. As long as you pay it before it's due, you will get the same credit benefit and you will have your money to use for a longer period of time. I too pay off my credit cards in full every month, but I do it on the day before the payment is due (online).
It depends on what you want. People who are very risk-averse and conservative don't usually build much wealth. You might eventually want to consider buying a home of some sort to build equity, because at 30 years old you have a lot more years of rent to pay. As long as you are smart about where you are buying and what you are buying, you can have your place paid for in 20 or 30 years when you really need to stop thinking about paying rent.
One of the best things you could consider doing is to buy a duplex and finance it - live in half and rent the other half. Let someone else's rent pay off YOUR property.
My home is paid for in full, I still have housing expenses. My real estate taxes are about 15K per year, there is also home maintenance to be considered. When you rent repairs and maintenance are covered by your landlord. Living expenses can't be avoided, even my family cemetary plot had a pretty expensive buy in that covers ongoing maintenance of the grounds.I think I would consider paying rent as not living debt free. Debt free to me means no housing expenses so house is paid off in full.
I obviously meant putting the money across the market (in SP500 tracker for example), not in a single stock or Bernie Madoff! (No speculation).Putting three hundred grand in the stock market twenty years ago may have brought a big return but it depends on where you invested.Investing in a single company is fraught with danger,consider Enron.People are advised to use investment trusts to spread their investment over many different companies,consider Bernie Madoff.You always risk losing everything when dealing on the stock market unless you know what you are doing and are willing to research companies financial records and even then you are taking a chance.
It's very admirable how you & he have handled your money & have the future well covered...Clearly you are both "savers" ... Your husband may be more of the careful planner between you, but you are his frugal helpmate ... it's a superb match... I don't think the 2 of you will be fighting over finances any time soon!![[ We Debt-free, zero debt. No student loans debt, we never have school debt. No credit cards debt. No medical debt.. Cars are paid off, long paid off. I mean we have insurance, but both our cars his and mine are paid off.
Rent and All bills are pay on time early every month way before the due date; once we get the bills we pay it right away mail out the payment the next day.. Credit card bills, same thing. Mail out payment next day way early before the due date. We have excellent/perfect credit scores.
Our credit card bills is just what we use charge with our credit cards for that month, and once we get the bill we mail out the check right away next day pay it off. Never once we own credit cards a penny, let alone own a dollar.
Everything, Rent and all bills including credit cards bills are all pay on time way early every month actually. Never once we have a late payment, let alone a missed payment.
My husband make decent income, he make 100K a year (money don't fall down from the sky. He has to work long hours in order to make that income. But he has No difficulty of bring in 100K income a year).. Despite we live in a HCOL state California, but life is comfy for us due to we both Debt-free. And we both are not big spender.
He very responsible with money, he work hard to secure for our future. To make sure we always be in a comfortable financial position.
Myself and husband have always lived below our means too.. as you describe here.. in our early years.. this helped us put down a whopping down payment when we found the house of our dreams.. then pay it off quickly, saving a ton on interest... I would recommend that to anyone, if they can swing it, for whatever their future goals are .... often they say "save for a rainy day".. I like to call it a "torrential downpour" ...to have this sort of savings set aside...it gives a couple a lot of "Peace"... for when emergencies come up, too many vehicle troubles, just buy another one...if we need a lawyer.. whatever.. and also to achieve that "debt free" state.. whether it's with renting with a ton in the bank (like yourselves) or for a family like ours.. we make less a year than you & your husband - but have 6 kids !! A goal of ours was always to buy a house... we didn't want to rent..We dislike debt. We never over spend. We budget everything.. Every month money go in what in what, we have everything budget lay out all and ready.
We do live BELOW our means. We rent in the lowest monthly rent place. No, we don't need to live in a high-end place with swimming pools and work out gyms and all that, lol. we don't care those stuff.. I told my husband why pay the top expensive rent monthly when we can find a place with much lower/cheaper rent? It helps each month to add MORE money into your savings if we paying lower rent.
Smart wife... I am sure your husband very much appreciates your being this way...his being such a careful planner himself...and if you stay at home, you have the time to devote to seeking out the best deals, cutting those coupons in your free time.. I did this for years too.. still do when I get my hands on some.. to be honest.. posting on this forum.. is what took me away from cutting as many in the past so many years... every little bit helps !! Do you try to get as many rebates as you can too?Anyways, I'm very frugal. I'm a coupon person; I cut coupons, I save coupons, I use coupons.. I save every dollar as I can.
My husband make 100K a year and I'm here cutting coupons out of weekly grocery ads, lol.. even coupons like buy one get one half off, or .75 cents off I still cut out use and save.
I'm not a huge planner like my husband, but I'm frugal.
It would be "very comfortable" for us as a family- where we live, it's a high unemployment area, relatively lower cost for buying houses.. not many good jobs around.. Even making considerably less than your husband with 5 kids still at home.. we would be considered "Middle class" on this calculator (below)... though take what we make & place us in New York City or California.. we'd be low income for sure..Is Debt-free and making 100K a year income comfy to others? Probably not, but to us it comfy. And being Debt-free sure help alot.. And what added further to the help it our lifestyle, we both are not big spender and we live Below our means. We hate debt, so our goal is lifetime Debt-free.
Try to take no mind to her opinion....here is how I would interpret this...: in HER WORLD she likely wants/ plans to be a home owner and she views having a monthly rent payment as excess money going down the drain.. (again it's just an opinion).. some home owner TAXES alone cost more than RENT in a years time.. so really.. we're all a slave to TAXES anyway...BUT then there is a replied from a poster, she quote me and she said that is Not Debt-free.. okay, she got me confused and I second think question what really Debt-free is then?
This is her replied, I cut and paste what she wrote to me in CafeMom to here: [[[ You pay rent every month. I don't view that as debt-free, it's akin to having a mortgage. One that you'll never pay off. ]]]
So by her quote above replied to me, and her viewpoint of what Debt-free is. Me and my husband we not Debt-free Solely because we pay 'Rent'.. But we rent in the lowest monthly rent place, so we can have More money save added to our savings and retirement. Our rent is way low compared to my husband income. I don't see how can our rent is considered our debt? We don't own rent a penny, once we get the rent bill, we sign a check immediately mail out next day pay it.
What she meant was.... nothing to do with coming from a rich family.... just that she wouldn't consider it debt free until the last monthly mortgage payment was satisfied in full = no more payments.. just paying utilities, common repairs & taxes on the house/ property...Period...IF by her definition what she wrote (in the blue bold bracket), nobody is Debt-free then unless they born with a silver spoon in their mouth.. Because those who rent, whether it high or low rent they have to pay monthly Rent. If not rent, then those who buy house, whether it high or low monthly mortgage payment, they still have to pay Mortgage.
Then by her definition, nobody is Debt-free then (since we have to pay Rent or Mortgage).
My feeling is this... don't allow her definition to throw you off, to confuse you or anything like this. You & husband are doing wonderful.. at the rate you are going...give it a few years .. I bet you could take all the money you have saved... and near buy a house, paying in cash & never make 1 mortgage payment.. so you go from being your definition of debt free straight to Hers !! All good.So my question is, do you agree with what that poster said (her quote in blue bracket above)--her definition of Debt-free? According to our situation above, we Debt-free to me. Am I thinking Debt-free definition wrong here?
Yes, I'm an easily confuse girl, and right now I'm confuse. That poster she throw me off. So what is really Debt-free then? What is 'your' definition of Debt-free?
I'm one of those people who LOVE credit cards.. I put everything on there.. all our food (using the card that gives 3% back), Gas (using the card that gives 5% back)... I pay our kids Orthodontist bills with it, cable...I even paid for one of our used cars with my credit card... EVERYTHING I possibly can.. I wish I could put our house taxes on there.. but they won't let me.. I do this because I get "cash back".. I specifically look for the best cash back awards cards... I've never paid interest on a credit card... I make about $400 a year doing this.... I appreciate that using credit has it's other perks -like when you have a dispute, done that a time or two...I remember Larry Burkett once said "You cannot use a credit card wisely, you can just use one less foolishly". If you don't pay any interest to the credit card companies, then you're winning. I do not think I will be "debt free" for many years, as I expect to be paying on a mortgage for the foreseeable future. The real question is do you have money left at the end of the month and whether or not you're living within your means. Every situation is different. I once had credit cards, thru college, and afterwards, and it took me years to pay them off, and I vowed to never own one again.
I know that she is still reading. Guess she just has not seen a need to reply.The OP hasn't returned.
Hello, and Happy Thursday to everyone.. For starter I just want to say I know this section of the forum is title "Financial problems in marriage". We Don't have a financial problem, I just have a financial question. I think it go here because it financial related, my apology if I posted it in the wrong section of the forum.
I'm sorry for the longgg post ahead, but there is a financial question I want to ask. Not expect anyone make it through reading it since my post it so long, but I really appreciate it if anyone can help answer my question. Thank you so much.
So, on a mommie-baby site that I'm a frequent poster on CafeMom (it a community forum for mommies, pregnancy, women who TTC, etc.. where women talk to other women for advice and support). There is a thread where a poster aksed if there anyone in there who not have any debt, and asked what Debt-free is to everyone.. Alot of ladies in there replies, pretty much posters there share about their financial situation whether they have debt or not, and exchanged their viewpoint of what to them is the meaning of Debt-free.
So me as a regular poster in there, I replied in that thread too. I might not be a very bright girl, but I think I know what Debt-free mean.. Please try to read it to the end in order to get a clear picture of the question I'm trying to ask.
So this is my replied in that thread:
[[ We Debt-free, zero debt. No student loans debt, we never have school debt. No credit cards debt. No medical debt.. Cars are paid off, long paid off. I mean we have insurance, but both our cars his and mine are paid off.
Rent and All bills are pay on time early every month way before the due date; once we get the bills we pay it right away mail out the payment the next day.. Credit card bills, same thing. Mail out payment next day way early before the due date. We have excellent/perfect credit scores.
Our credit card bills is just what we use charge with our credit cards for that month, and once we get the bill we mail out the check right away next day pay it off. Never once we own credit cards a penny, let alone own a dollar.
Everything, Rent and all bills including credit cards bills are all pay on time way early every month actually. Never once we have a late payment, let alone a missed payment.
My husband make decent income, he make 100K a year (money don't fall down from the sky. He has to work long hours in order to make that income. But he has No difficulty of bring in 100K income a year).. Despite we live in a HCOL state California, but life is comfy for us due to we both Debt-free. And we both are not big spender.
He very responsible with money, he work hard to secure for our future. To make sure we always be in a comfortable fiancial position.
His checking account it just where he pays Rent and all bills; and he pays it all, I don't have to pay anything. (Yes, he has me as Joint on his checking account).
His life saving is not in his checking. It his saving accounts and his retirement accounts are where all his life saving money are at.
----He has two Saving accounts, and both accounts have more than decent saving money in it save for emergency/rainy days. (Yes, he has me as Joint on both of his saving accounts).
---He has two 401k accounts and one IRA account saving for retirement, and all three has more than decent money retirement saving in it, especially his IRA account.. He prefers IRA, he used to have three 401k accounts but last time he roll one to his IRA. (Yes, he has me as the Primary beneficiary on all three of it).
---He has Life insurance, Health insurance. He has excellent/perfect credit scores.. Eventhough he has more than decent money in his Saving accounts and his 401k and IRA retirement accounts, he still want Life insurance just in case. He is a huge planner. (Yes, he has me as the Primary beneficiary on his Life insurance. And I'm on his Health insurance).
I'm a girl with only a High school diploma, No college degree. I work minimum wage jobs all my life, I make minimum wage. He on the other hand, make 100K a year. I told him repeatedly I don't want to be on any of his financial accounts (I understand our incomes difference, it alot).. But he adamant put me as Joint in all his bank accounts, and as Primary beneficiary on all his retirement accounts and Life insurance. I refused, he insists. I refused, he insists. I don't know what to do so I let him have it his ways.
We dislike debt. We never over spend. We budget everything.. Every month money go in what in what, we have everything budget lay out all and ready.
We do live BELOW our means. We rent in the lowest monthly rent place. No, we don't need to live in a high-end place with swimming pools and work out gyms and all that, lol. we don't care those stuff.. I told my husband why pay the top expensive rent monthly when we can find a place with much lower/cheaper rent? It helps each month to add MORE money into your savings if we paying lower rent.
Perhaps I'm cheap, but to me having 'Cash' in our saving accounts is more important than live in a high-end place.. It not just money in Saving accounts, it also money in 401k and IRA retirement too, the more retirement savings we have the better we be in our old age.
No, we personally don't want to own a home in California. Anyone who live in California know how expensive it is to buy a house here.. Same with New York. You talking about two HIGHEST cost of living states in the U.S., and the highest home prices too.
We don't want to buy a house in California because we not staying in this state till the day we die. We thinking of relocate to Georgia (where my husband mom side of the family all are at), perhaps we buy a house there in Georgia, we just want to buy a condo or townhouse.. It just never was a 'must need/must have' to us own a house in this HCOL state California and the house prices here are ridiculously high.
Why buy a house in ridiculous high price California when houses in the South are at a much lower price?
Anyways, I'm very frugal. I'm a coupon person; I cut coupons, I save coupons, I use coupons.. I save every dollar as I can.
My husband make 100K a year and I'm here cutting coupons out of weekly grocery ads, lol.. even coupons like buy one get one half off, or .75 cents off I still cut out use and save.
I'm not a huge planner like my husband, but I'm frugal.
Is Debt-free and making 100K a year income comfy to others? Probably not, but to us it comfy. And being Debt-free sure help alot.. And what added further to the help it our lifestyle, we both are not big spender and we live Below our means. We hate debt, so our goal is lifetime Debt-free.
oh, and our age.. I'm 31, I'll be turning 32 soon. My husband he a year younger than me; he 30 (just turn 31 few months ago). ]]
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okay, so that is the financial situation of me and my husband, I considered we are Debt-free. Perhaps my definition of what Debt-free is is different from others, but to me I think we Debt-free.
BUT then there is a replied from a poster, she quote me and she said that is Not Debt-free.. okay, she got me confused and I second think question what really Debt-free is then?
This is her replied, I cut and paste what she wrote to me in CafeMom to here: [[[ You pay rent every month. I don't view that as debt-free, it's akin to having a mortgage. One that you'll never pay off. ]]]
So by her quote above replied to me, and her viewpoint of what Debt-free is. Me and my husband we not Debt-free Solely because we pay 'Rent'.. But we rent in the lowest monthly rent place, so we can have More money save added to our savings and retirement. Our rent is way low compared to my husband income. I don't see how can our rent is considered our debt? We don't own rent a penny, once we get the rent bill, we sign a check immediately mail out next day pay it.
IF by her definition what she wrote (in the blue bold bracket), nobody is Debt-free then unless they born with a silver spoon in their mouth.. Because those who rent, whether it high or low rent they have to pay monthly Rent. If not rent, then those who buy house, whether it high or low monthly mortgage payment, they still have to pay Mortgage.
Then by her definition, nobody is Debt-free then (since we have to pay Rent or Mortgage).
So my question is, do you agree with what that poster said (her quote in blue bracket above)--her definition of Debt-free? According to our situation above, we Debt-free to me. Am I thinking Debt-free definition wrong here?
Yes, I'm an easily confuse girl, and right now I'm confuse. That poster she throw me off. So what is really Debt-free then? What is 'your' definition of Debt-free?
There is no particular reason to have two savings accounts, but there is also no reason not to. Why does he have two accounts?---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
My husband he Debt-free (we both are). So there no debt for us to worry about.
His 401k and IRA retirement, he max out it out every year. So retirement savings is not a problem. He does have more than decent amount of savings for retirement.
You help gave me advice in my other thread regarding he work dangerous job.. Not everyone qualify, and not everyone want or willing to work the job he work, especially with nature of his job. On the good side is he does get pay decent. At the age 23 (he 31 now), he already make 100K a year.
I want to ask your insight on this, do you see the point of have two saving accounts? I ask because my husband has two (he has me as Joint on both saving accounts). I'm thinking of perhaps he should close one and just put all the money together in one saving account instead of two.
He has six-figures in his Savings. (Cash in his savings is what we will use to pay for the condo/townhouse for his mom). Or if she wants to rent a house near where her sister is, we be more than happy to pay monthly Rent for her.
Do you see the point of have two saving accounts? One should be good enough right?
Yes, Social Security is separate from 401k/IRA money. Right now people can get payments from all of those different sources, although it is possible that some day the government will say "You have too much money and there are poor people who need that money more than you do, so we are going to reduce (or eliminate) your Social Security payment because we don't have enough money to pay everyone, even though it was their own money." No one knows when or if that will happen, but it is a possibility. I wouldn't let it stop me from saving as much as possible though, because your own money is still better than having to rely on the government.oh, and my other question. I know yearly my husband max out his retirement savings. I know the 401k and IRA are SEPARATE from Social Security taxes right?
I ask this because I see my husband paychecks (he gets pay weekly), and in his paychecks it automatically deduct for Social Security tax.
So when he retire, he can collect both--simultaneously both his Social Security retirement (the Social Security tax that deduct from his paychecks), AND his 401k and IRA right?
The IRA and 401k are his, he max it out every year. That is SEPARATE from the Social Security tax that deduct from his paycheck, so he should get BOTH simultaneously when he retire right? I'm a bit confuse on this, can you explain it to me? Thank you Sir.
He has me as the Primary beneficiary on both his 401k and IRA. And I do understand how 401k/IRA works, I just a bit confuse about the Social Security tax. He should be able to get BOTH when he retired right? I mean it his hard work money, it just it deducted out of his paychecks.
I would ABSOLUTELY tell him I want him to work on those major holidays! My wife is a nurse (retired now) and she told me that there was a lot of competition between nurses as to who could get holiday pay, even though in her case it was only 50% more, not 150% more as in your husband's case.-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
oh, and one last question, if you can give me advice on this. What should I say next time if my husband ask me if I'm okay with him work holidays.. He always ask me if I'm okay with him work overtime or holidays, and I said I'm okay (because of the overtime pays, and the holiday pays). But perhaps next time he ask me if I'm okay with him work holidays, I should just not comment and say it up to him and let him chose?
He work a dangerous job, (but I know somebody has to do the damn job). On the bright side his pays is decent. And the company he work for do treats him well. The upper scale pay in his job is $30 an hour (factor also of California HCOL),
but due to he has years of experience (he got experience in his field since 23, he 31 now), due to his experience they pay him $35 an hour.
So his hourly pay is $35 an hour, and he DOES get pay overtime (1.5x more for overtime). So any hours he work after 40 hours, he get pays $52.5 an hour. A week he work 70 hours, so that 30 hours he work overtime over the 40 hours and he get pay $52.5 an hour for overtime.
So a week he make $2,975 a week. ($35 an hour x 40 hours = $1,400 ) + plus (overtime pay $52.5 an hour x 30 hours = $1,575 ) = equal to $2,975 a week.
And there 52 weeks in a year, he make 154K a year. (yes, we in the HCOL California. But we both are Debt-free, and we live BELOW our means.. And with his income, it still above the average household California income. With just him himself--one person income salary, I considered him doing well).
And not mentioned, he gets pay extra on the holidays too. Major holidays like Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year's Day, Memorial Day, Labor Day, Independence Day. You know the major holidays.. No, Not Valentine's Day, that don't count as a major holiday, lol
When he work on holidays (which he does work on holidays), he get pays 'Double time and a half'. Take for example last Christmas (a major holiday) he work, he gets double and a half.
His hourly pay is $35 an hour. (On holiday, he get double and a half) 2.5x of $35 an hour, so he get pay $87.5 an hour.. And he work 12 hours. That come out $1,050 for that day alone. That is alot of money for one day work alone (ofcourse it holiday pay that it like that).
Giving the holidays pay like that, that was why when he asked me if I'm okay with him work holidays, I said I'm okay. I mean he work one day of holiday, and he gets pay $1,050 for that one day alone, that is alot of money (well, to me it is).
Work, yes?--I don't see why my husband shouldn't work holidays considering that pays? And right now we don't have kids yet (I haven't give him his baby wish yet), it just me and him and our little poodle.
And I'm a Stay at home Wife (this is the lifestyle he wants), we are not missing out time with each others. How can a Stay at home wife with no kids yet miss out time with their husband?
Again, you should definitely tell him you want him to work on those major holidays. That adds up to thousands of extra dollars a year that you can save (after paying California and Federal taxes, of course). And even if you don't want him to work more than the usual days, he could take off a "regular" day and work a major holiday instead, right? Then you would still be ahead 150% of a regular day's pay (before taxes). So yes, this is absolutely a good idea..........
Here the thing about my husband. My husband he very important on me and him eating together and go to bed together. When he work nights, he wants me to sleep in the daytime with him.. Eating together is very important to him, go to bed at the same time and wake up at the same time is also equally very important to him.
He make it clear that he doesn't want me to even work part time, he said why do he wants his 'wife' to work? When he make enough for his wife to stay home. He said and asked that.
I guess to him, he takes pride in provide for me--being the one that brings in the income/money. I guess to him it like that, I dunno.
He work 70 hours a week (10-12 hours a day).. So a day he gone 12 hours at day at work, and after work he comes straight home; which leave him 12 hours home, eat sleep family time.
I know he very important on when he comes home from work; able to see me first thing, have me sit down on the dinner table eat with him, have me watch News with him, have me go to sleep at the same time with him.. Have me eat with him before he go to work an after he gets home from work. Go to sleep at the same time and wake up at the same time with him.
Which my husband has what he wants, and I'm sure it because this is the lifestyle he wants, therefore he make me a Stay at home Wife (yes, right now it a SAHWife, because I haven't give him his baby wish yet, so I'm not a mommy yet).
Married to him as his wife (Perhaps I married a traditional man?)--he make it very clear and adamant he doesn't want me to work, not even part time. He wants me to be a Stay at home Wife SAHW. And when I give him his baby wish, he wants me to continue to stay home, be a SAHM.. (He really want a baby to complete our little family. I just haven't give him a baby yet).
No, I'm not complaining that he work long hours. He does make decent money.. And here in the HCOL state California; have a DH that work long hours it very common, here every household there got to be one person who work their butt off just so their wife and kids can have a comfy life.
I'm not the only one with DH that work long hours. Plus I know there ladies out there who have DH that travel for work go on business trips for weeks to a month at a time. I know there ladies out there that have DH that in the military, facing deployment for months to a year at the time..
So I'm not complaining, I'm very grateful.. I have my husband home with me everyday, zero travel or deployment. I'm very grateful of my situation (despite he work long hours).
He home everyday. He work 10-12 hours and come straight home. Eat is we eat together. He sleep 6-7 hours and that 6-7 hours (regardless day or night) is I sleep with him. That leave us 5 hours of us time together do whatever we wish. I'm very grateful of my situation and for the time I have with my husband.
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My sleep have been follow his sleep. When he sleep, that is when I sleep, lol.. When he work nights, he sleeps in the day, and he wants me to sleep in the day with him.
I know me being a SAHWife/SAHM is the lifestyle he adamant wants, like damn adamant wants. And I don't want to debate with him about this; we not starving, and he make a low six-figures income, and he Debt-free (we both are).. He not asking much, all he asked for is have have his wife eat with him and go to sleep at the same time with him. This guy pays for my everything, everything, supporting me from a to z. I'm a SAHW (not working, no income), it not too much for a husband to ask.
I know I'm not bringing in an income (since to he doesn't even want me to work part time). I told him if he needs me to work to help bring in income, he has to tell me so I can know. Everytime I said that to him, he call me silly. He still said he doesn't want me to work. He said why do he wants his 'wife' to work? When he make enough for his wife to stay home.. I don't know how to answer him when he said that everytime I asked, he very adamant on not want me to work.
I have my own car (bought this car way before I met him), I drive out whereever I want.. And I work before marriage, (a minimum wage job, but I work prior to marriage).
We have our own cars, he has his car, I have mine. I do drive around with my car go whereever I want to go, do whatever, drive whereever (just do it in the 12 hours he at work). Drive to Chinatown, go over to my BFF house (but my BFF best friend she married and has kids, I don't want to bother her), do whatever, there plenty of places to go around here in the very crowded state California, and we live right in the heart of the city too.. I do drive around, just in the daytime. Because when he go to work late at night like at 1AM at night, no way I go out or driving out at that time. This is basic common sense. I do go in the daytime.
But then when he work nights, he sleep in the day, and I have to sleep with him (okay, not have to. He prefers, and I want to too).
Because of the holidays pay, I want him to work holidays. It doesn't matter to him, if I want him work he work, if not he won't. Am I terrible for want my husband to work holidays? But consider the holiday pays (2.5x more each hour of his normal $35/hour pay). He works, that more money to save. Those money he can put more in his Savings, or in his retirement.
What would you do?--for the pay of $1,050 a day just to work that one day (holiday pay), let him work on all holidays right? (major holidays ofcourse, it the major holidays when they pay like that).
Am I terrible that I want him to work on holidays just because of that pay? Perhaps next time he ask me if I'm okay with him work holiday(s), I should just not comment and said it up to him and let him chose?
Sir, can you give me insight/advice on this please? Thank you Sir.
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