If she dont delivery Im gone
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Navigation »Talk About Marriage »Focused Topics »Financial Problems in Marriage » If she dont delivery Im gone

Financial Problems in Marriage When financial times are tough, it adds to the stress we deal with on a daily basis. This section is for talking about how financial problems affect our relationships and ways to cope.

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Old 12-18-2011, 03:12 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Default If she dont delivery Im gone

For the past 2 year my girlfriend now wife has been without work she worked hear and there but never can hold on to a job which frustrate me to the core because it leaves me living pay check to pay check which is not a good way to live with 2 kids we recently lost our apartment because i could not keep up on the rent and bills and car note just was too much. so to fast forward we are currently living with family which suck and she just graduate college and i told her if she do not delivery with within the next year im gone i can no long continue to be in a marrige with a women who has drag me down i tried and tried to be there and after 6 years im at my limit my credit score drop im in debt it's just horrible and before anybody judge me im am a Contractor for the U.S air force so i hold my own i just wanna know am i wrong for going about this in this way.
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Old 12-18-2011, 03:18 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Default Re: If she dont delivery Im gone

Not at all. If she is just being lazy.

If it's due to the economy, and not her fault or she couldn't work because of the kids, then I have empathy for you, a lot of people are having a tough time these past couple of years, and it's hard on a relationship.

On the plus side, try to focus on what you do have instead of the debt. Appreciate that you have a wife and kids, spend time with them when you can, and know that money does not make you rich. Things usually get better. Focus on doing well at your job, and being a decent person. Don't let it break you. Best wishes,
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Old 12-18-2011, 03:23 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Default Re: If she dont delivery Im gone

Why do you think that leaving her will solve your money problems. You would still have to pay child support. You will be in worse shape financially after a divorce than you are now.

Have the two of you sat down and gone through your finances to see where you can save money?
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Old 12-18-2011, 03:41 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Default Re: If she dont delivery Im gone

well i really try not to include the kids in between our troubles so if we do split child support will not bother me at all it's just if i wanna do bad i can do it on my own i didn't get married to be doing this by myself we had a plan and did my part i just think she been wasting to much time and i think year is long enough to get you act together.
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Old 12-18-2011, 03:45 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Default Re: If she dont delivery Im gone

Do you love your wife?

This economy has made it extremely difficult to find a job no matter where you are. If you love your wife you will get through this. If not, maybe divorce is the answer. You will have to pay child support, daycare cost, health insurance for the child and maybe alimony.

Being angry and causing fights will not help the situation. I haven't worked in the last 10-11 years. I'm now disabled and I will never have the change to bring in income to our household ever again. I thank God everyday for my understanding and supportive husband. Our bills are piling up too. We pay 2,000 out of pocket in health insurance alone. We are a family of 5. My husband works 2 part time jobs along with his full time job. He never once has been angry with me.
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Old 12-18-2011, 04:24 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Default Re: If she dont delivery Im gone

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well i really try not to include the kids in between our troubles so if we do split child support will not bother me at all it's just if i wanna do bad i can do it on my own i didn't get married to be doing this by myself we had a plan and did my part i just think she been wasting to much time and i think year is long enough to get you act together.
So what does she say about it? That's what matters. Not what any of us think.
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Old 12-18-2011, 04:27 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Young 1 View Post
well i really try not to include the kids in between our troubles so if we do split child support will not bother me at all it's just if i wanna do bad i can do it on my own i didn't get married to be doing this by myself we had a plan and did my part i just think she been wasting to much time and i think year is long enough to get you act together.
She has been in school? High school? College? What is she going to school for?
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Old 12-19-2011, 02:11 AM   #8 (permalink)
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Default Re: If she dont delivery Im gone

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Why do you think that leaving her will solve your money problems. You would still have to pay child support. You will be in worse shape financially after a divorce than you are now.
This assumes that she gets full or primary custody of the children. If he gets, say, 50/50 and it's all he can do to support the three of them she probably won't get all that much.
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Old 12-19-2011, 09:50 AM   #9 (permalink)
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Default Re: If she dont delivery Im gone

Let's see if I have this right - you are 24, have 2 kids with another on the way, she just completed college, you want more sex and money from her or you're history, is that right? How old are your two kids? How old is your wife?

What you are doing is blaming her for choices that you both made that would strain anyones purse., Did you anticipated that with 3 pregnancies in rapid succession and the responsibility of caring for them would dampen her resolve to find work? Do you think it would have been better for her to, finish college and start a career before having 3 kids?

You want to punish her and the 3 innocent lives you brought into the world for decisions you made? You want to walk away and do what? Start fresh? You can do all of the calculations you want but you will not hide the fact that you are shoving your problems onto the backs of those lest able to bear up under them. You seem more like a petulant boy than a man, but then again I may be wrong.

You have heavy responsibilities of your own making. Grow up and handle them like a responsible man. What kind of a man walks away from his family while they are struggling economically? Do you think you will be better off financially? And you can actually live with yourself after walking away leaving them in poverty while you are living large?

Figure something else out. Demanding and giving ultimatums will not work. Appreciate what she has done - she has had 3 of your children, has nurtured them, finished college and she has to deal with your demands for sex and money. I feel very bad for her and I hope that what ever happens , she and her kids find peace, happiness and abundance.
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Old 12-19-2011, 05:27 PM   #10 (permalink)
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Default Re: If she dont delivery Im gone

Okay, before we all jump all over the OP...let's hear him out. I think he has a valid concern about his wife not working. Now, maybe that's because I have always worked and even though I had a child, I had to work versus stay home.

OP, did you and your wife talk about her working before you were married? If so, what did you decide? Why has she not been able to keep and/or find a job, in your opinion? What is her field of study, and is it easy to find a job in that field?

I understand your frustration that she isn't helping with the bills. It is extremely hard to be the only one working and paying the bills, unless you are making a very large sum of money. We need more information to assist you, though.
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Old 12-20-2011, 05:46 AM   #11 (permalink)
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Default Re: If she dont delivery Im gone

What I'm kind of missing in the original post is something like: I love my wife, she's a great mom, she did great graduating from college, she cooks dinners. He doesn't have a single positive thing to say about his wife or his family in general. Might be that OP is already gone!
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