I told him today that I had a right to see everything and it was an ultimatum. I told him that is right, if I had to hire a nanny to do my job at home she would be better off than me! She would get to live in our house and eat our food and she would get paid!!! I only get to live here and eat what I make. I get no access to cash. If i want to buy something I have to sell something.
Does he not get it? why am I even here? he's not that nice or kind or loving to me anymore anyways. I'm always depressed or arguing with him.
If it was an ultimatum, what did you tell him you would do if he did not give you access to money and all your marital financial records?
Just so you know (in case you do not), his accounts are your marital financial records since every penny he earns is marital income/property.
He says that you working was not part of the deal that the two of you had. Was him withholding money and financial information part of the deal? I doubt it. Did you point that out to him?
Hi, thx you are the only one helping me! No, I cant find any statements for the checking acct bc he keeps it all online. I've looked. He also keeps his credit card online only. I don't have access or know his password. Last fall I pressed him on it and he logged in and let me see the month... and of course that was when he had a huge charge for a bicycle. I don't think he's bought anything big but I don't know.
This is pathetic isn't it.. I literally have no idea what comes in to the family account and no idea what he charges. Although he knows what I charge and it is little.
I have a few suggestions.
Now that you have given him an ultimatum and heís just rejected everything you said, itís time for you to act. See if you do not follow through on your ultimatum, he will read that as justification to abuse you even more.
So you need to start acting on your ultimatum. You need to get a job. Donít ask him. Donít tell him. Just do it. After you have a job, let him know that he will need to put out money to pay for a nanny/sitter.
At the same time that you are job hunting, you need to find his financial records. You said that he has a business. Does he run his business out of the home or does he have an office in some other building?
There is a way for you to find out his passwords. Are you willing to do some snooping?