Financial Problems in MarriageWhen financial times are tough, it adds to the stress we deal with on a daily basis. This section is for talking about how financial problems affect our relationships and ways to cope.
I make more than your gf, but I wouldn't give up the job I have to stay at home the way you've suggested she do. It sounds boring to me. I've spent too many years on my eduction, too many years building up my career to give it up to stay home even if I don't make $800,000 annually. Is this $800,000 USD?
I grew up with wealthy parents. We had a chauffer, two live in nannies and a cook. Those things don't impress me much. My mother has a university degree and work part-time yet she had "help" at home too.
But what I think doesn't matter. If she wants to stay at home who cares if you have a maid? I would think at your level or income (if true), you wouldn't care what others think about you.
The way I read the OP, he's concerned that her friend has too much influence on his gf. So he's looking for a way to mitigate the friend's influence.
Are you kidding?? I would LOVE to have a lifestyle like this!!
If my husband made $100K a year, I'd be wanting to quit my job AND I'd like to have a maid... cleaning is NOT my favorite pastime.
The friend is probably jealous... I would be. After all, your gf is about to enter a world in which her friend will likely never be comfortable (lounging around a pool, shopping, hanging with other "trophy wives" at the country club discussing how the maid doesn't vacuum the carpet in the grand room every Tuesday like she's supposed to). She's worried that your gf will eventually ditch her because she can't survive in that world (which she likely will because they won't be able to relate to each other's lives anymore).
But bottom line is... if you both are happy in that situation, then who cares what anyone else thinks?
thanks!but she wont let go.the friend seems she wants to have it her way "somehow"
The way I read the OP, he's concerned that her friend has too much influence on his gf. So he's looking for a way to mitigate the friend's influence.
thats correct!! i cant go and tell her "look biatch.this is not your problem,if i need to treat my girl like a princess,i will.and i dont cheat on her.so back off" if its a man, i can do that but this is a woman. so im trying to find a way to get rid of her.
If you talk together and evaluate the situation and decide Jointly what is best for both of you then I guess it truly shouldnt matter what anyone else says.
I can see concern from their point of view as noted by others above but truly it is your joint decision...
The thing that may be a concern is the terms are agreeable... I had a lady I work with in the same situation that was tired, after late evenings of his social obligations, she had different long term desires and I wonder if she had enough of a voice to speak for herself!
Make sure that you give her room to talk and give her some say... she will be less likely to take such comment from others to heart, or have discontent due to the situation Good luck to you
If you say you're well off, then people would believe you. lol.
you dont think people would? i do think people would. and if i didnt say what we earn, people would not understand that its ok for my girl to stay home finance-wise. hate much ?
She is your girl friend not your wife so she ought to keep working.
If you marry her and stay married at least ten years, then she can count on your social security to help her in her later years. If you don't marry her, she can count on nothing financially in the future.
She is your girl friend not your wife so she ought to keep working.
If you marry her and stay married at least ten years, then she can count on your social security to help her in her later years. If you don't marry her, she can count on nothing financially in the future.
thats correct!! i cant go and tell her "look biatch.this is not your problem,if i need to treat my girl like a princess,i will.and i dont cheat on her.so back off" if its a man, i can do that but this is a woman. so im trying to find a way to get rid of her.
If your gf's friend is carrying on about how gf not working is a bad idea, there is a very good chance that this reflects the thoughts of your gf... perhaps thoughts that your gf is not comfortable telling you. If she was truely uncomfortable with what her friend was saying, she'd tell her friend to stop bugging her... she's made up her mind and will be staying home.
Your sort of agressive response here, "look biatch", speaks of an attitude against your gf's friend.
Maybe yoru gf has confided somethings to her friend and that's the basis of all those remarks. You need to have a serious talk with your gf.. my bet is that no the one hand she wants to do what you want her to do. And on the other hand she's concerned about losing herself in your much bigger world.
12Likes
Re: would you stay home and have a maid? 
My mother has a university degree and work part-time yet she had "help" at home too. 
but she wont let go.the friend seems she wants to have it her way "somehow"
