grace1212

hi

this is my 1st post.i ve been married for 4 years.i earn 25% of total income and my husband earns 75% of total income.

we save my salary and he pays for everything.

we always ask each other what gift we want when birthday etc comes.

he always asks for some item below $100 so i get that for him

i always ask for inexpensive things too.but he adds something expensive too. like this birthday,i said i would like a blouse and a nightdress i saw on the net.he got me those and got me a necklace too.the necklace is $1300. its always been like that. 2-3 expensive gifts each year.

we are happy together and he loves me a lot and shows it in so many ways.but when i tell him "you always buy me nice and expensive gifts.i love the jewelry,the car, and everything.but i want to get you something nice and expensive and long lasting too.you always ask for shirts or ties" he jokes saying "do i look like i ll wear a necklace" and won't tell me something expensive which he likes.

so is this ok? anyone else has a husband like mine? i think he is very nice and i love the gifts. but i kind of feel like i should give him a nice gift too. but since he doesnt tell me what he likes i dont have any idea what to get him.he says he already has what he wants.

Confused_and_bitter

Would you like to trade husbands? My birthday is coming up soon and I wouldn't mind a pretty necklace LOL all kidding aside I don't see it as a problem I understand what you mean about getting him something really nice so how about you just keep your eyes peeled or ask him casually about things he likes? A nice watch or tickets to sporting events? It gets tricky when you don't know what he will absolutely love(besides you of course) but you can always go to a good old stand by of getting expensive lingerie that will be a gift for both of you!
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grace1212

he already has a nice watch and he buys me lingerie. i just want to give him something long lasting

EleGirl

What kind of things does he like to do? Any sports... that he plays or watches?

Does he use shop tools?

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grace1212

you mean most men are nice like mine? great. because i have 6 close friends.2 husbands are like mine. 4 are different. you know... not buying anything nice for wife unless she asks,forgets special days etc

Stonewall

He sounds like me. I really don't like to see money wasted on me. I'd really rather save that money and be able to buy her things.

She grew up in an extremely poor family while I grew up well to do. I want to give her the kind of life now that she didn't have as a child. Nothing makes me happier.

So if this sounds familar to you then let it be as it is. It sounds to me like lavishing gifts on you makes him happy. Let him be happy!

FirstYearDown

My husband is the same, albeit on a smaller scale.

He likes to give me things to make me happy; I had a very abusive childhood and my husband wants to make up for it.

So I accept the flowers, cards and jewellery.

Halien

Ahh!! I see too much of myself in your husband also. We'd agree on limits for birthdays and christmas in the early years, but I always went overboard. Keep in mind that we men can feel like we have everything we want, but its only because we don't think about other "luxuries" that we might actually enjoy if we had them. You didn't mention the nature of his job, but about ten years ago, my wife started buying me the types of stylish jackets, shirts and other fashion that I would've never gotten for myself. Last year, she also asked if we could splurge on designer eyeglasses for me, because she likes it when I wear glasses, but I bought basic ones. Other things she got as gifts were things like a long wool overcoat, instead of the cheapie coat I wore. Most of us would never buy a good car coat for going out, or designer Italian shirts, also. At home, since we have been remodeling our current home, I tend to be more into rugged brands, so I just never thought of some of the items.

tacoma

I'm the same way as your husband/
I don't need or want much and I make more than my wife.

Just let it be
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Mavash.

If my husband had money he'd be doing the same thing. He's a gift guy. Unless the spending puts you in financial hardship simply say "thank you" and be happy.

datingopinionz

well i remember once i gave my girlfriend an expensive teddy bear on her birthday, i had an anonymous guy deliver it to her with no name on it, for an hour she wondered who gave her that gift and after an hour i asked her weather she liked it? she gave the prettiest smile while she blushed and said "you got this for me?" and that smile was to me way bigger gift than anything material, i like to give material gifts which are big, thoughtful and won't hesitate to buy them ever if they are a bit or pretty decently expensive coz as long as it makes my girl happy but in return all i expect is a pretty smile, thanks, maybe a kiss or anything else which is an expression of appreciation, i think men are like this at-least a few and you husband seems to be one of em'

FourtyPlus

My husband has always been generous with jewelry, tech gadgets and anything he thought I would want. What I really want is a simple slow dance, a glass of wine while watching the starry skies, a hug and a kiss.

Itsacommitment

My husband LOVES to buy things for me. I only buy him a gift now and then and its usually inexpensive because Im chronically ill and can only work part time. I wish that I could give him more, but it doesnt bother me.

Its seems pretty obvious that your husbands primary love language is gift giving. It makes him feel GOOD to give you things, it does not seem that he's wanting you to express your love in the same way.

I'd say be happy for his gifts and focus and expressing your love to him in other ways You can DO things for him rather than buying expensive things.