First, post and not sure where to start at.
I’ll be 66 in August, my Bride will turn 69 two weeks before me. Our 25th was on the 2 of last Month. She separated from me about 5 weeks ago while I was in the hospital recovering from a single vehicle crash. I had passed out at the wheel due to a reaction to Diazepam. I had to be airlifted to a trauma center due to the BP going below forty several times. At the trauma center, x-rays, MRI’s were taken and I had a fractured sternum, fractured ulna and radius in the right arm, along with a fracture in the right hand and a T12 compression fracture.
The day after my admittance to the trauma center, my wife passed out in the bathroom of our house and she too had to be taken by ambulance to the hospital, where she stayed for 4 days. I still don’t know why she passed out.
It was around the 3rd day when I was in the hospital that she called me. I was in a sedated state of semi-unconscious ( I remember very little of the first 4 days) and apparently I had jumped down her throat very rudely and with a loud voice told her I was not smoking in the hospital as she excused me of doing. Remember now she’s still in her hospital during this call. I apparently then hung up on her. Her son and daughter were with her when this call was made to me, and they could hear me screaming at her through her phone. One of them later said, at least I think this is so, that what I had done was abuse. The seed had been planted! About two days later I was able to reach her by phone. Prior to that, I was told she wasn’t taking and calls, the truth be told, she wasn’t taking any calls from me. Her son did get on the phone and gave me a what for; I think that is whom the abuse allegation came from. I fully understand that blood is thicker than water and her kids were protecting their mom. As sure as I’m typing this, they have had a major influence on her about that call. Like I said, the seed had been planted.
This time when she finally took my call (she had been discharged, and staying at her daughters' house) out of the blue I ask her,…..what do you want a divorce? Her reply was yes. I said okay I’ll get the papers drawn up. I went on to say what ever happen to in sickness and health, for richer or poor till death do us part. Her answer was….”life is too short.” I have not talked to her since the 18th of last month.
I’m going to back up here a bit and give a little health history on the wife. She has been having memory issues over the last year, with the last 6 getting worse. She has been diagnosed with having memory loss, amnesia, depression, depression with anxiety. When she isn’t under stress these issues calm down and everything appears to be normal.
Since that last call, she has closed our accounts at the bank. Applied for government housing, changed her cell phone number, and mailing address.
The house that I’m in now was my parents and I had to fight a legal battle with the witch that moved in with him after my mom passed away. That witch had got him to believe he had no children, or that we were going to put him into a nursing home and steal the house. See, my dad was in full dementia mode at the time. He has since passed on.
All of my wife’s belongings, clothes, dishes, furniture that she had prior to us getting married “are still in this house. The only thing she took out were some clothing, personal items, and over 10K in jewelry that I have gotten her over the last 25 years.
There are two possibilities of why she has not come to get the rest of her stuff. She has no place to put it or store it. The other is a possibility of reconciliation. I have hopes for the latter, but the former keeps busting up the thought of reconciliation.
There are two major problems in our marriage. Money, and me getting hot under the collar when she excuses me of doing something, of which I didn’t. I’ve had the issue with me since my teen years.
My wife came from a poor family and anytime there is money available, she goes through it like wind through cotton candy. She impulse buys, she buys the things she wants but does not need. She is, in fact, a hoarder. Now I do my fair share of spending, but I try as much as possible to put off those things that I would like to have and pay the bills first.
There is a third issue, my employment. For the last 5-7 years I’ve heard say over and over again, “I’ve had to work my whole life.” She sees me not contributing to the money shortage due to a lack of work on my part. Due to a layoff, got fired a couple of times, and due to a fractured femur bone. It took three operations and the last two years to learn to walk again. Now this accident, so I’m off for at least 6 weeks to mend my back. I’m going to do it in three.
She has meant with a former Pastor of ours, and the job situation with me is her biggest problem. I too have talked to him about all this. He says that for women, security, security, security is the primary need. With us men, I’ll primary need is sex.
She is the Love of my life but after these weeks of separation. I’m finding myself backing away from her. She walks once, what is going to stop her again when trouble rears its ugly head.
I’m at a loss of what to do. I sent to her a typed eight-page letter on Thursday asking forgiveness concerning my screaming at her on the phone and anything else that I've done to hurt her. I did no finger pointing in her direction for things that concern me about her.
Thanks for listening.
I’ll be 66 in August, my Bride will turn 69 two weeks before me. Our 25th was on the 2 of last Month. She separated from me about 5 weeks ago while I was in the hospital recovering from a single vehicle crash. I had passed out at the wheel due to a reaction to Diazepam. I had to be airlifted to a trauma center due to the BP going below forty several times. At the trauma center, x-rays, MRI’s were taken and I had a fractured sternum, fractured ulna and radius in the right arm, along with a fracture in the right hand and a T12 compression fracture.
The day after my admittance to the trauma center, my wife passed out in the bathroom of our house and she too had to be taken by ambulance to the hospital, where she stayed for 4 days. I still don’t know why she passed out.
It was around the 3rd day when I was in the hospital that she called me. I was in a sedated state of semi-unconscious ( I remember very little of the first 4 days) and apparently I had jumped down her throat very rudely and with a loud voice told her I was not smoking in the hospital as she excused me of doing. Remember now she’s still in her hospital during this call. I apparently then hung up on her. Her son and daughter were with her when this call was made to me, and they could hear me screaming at her through her phone. One of them later said, at least I think this is so, that what I had done was abuse. The seed had been planted! About two days later I was able to reach her by phone. Prior to that, I was told she wasn’t taking and calls, the truth be told, she wasn’t taking any calls from me. Her son did get on the phone and gave me a what for; I think that is whom the abuse allegation came from. I fully understand that blood is thicker than water and her kids were protecting their mom. As sure as I’m typing this, they have had a major influence on her about that call. Like I said, the seed had been planted.
This time when she finally took my call (she had been discharged, and staying at her daughters' house) out of the blue I ask her,…..what do you want a divorce? Her reply was yes. I said okay I’ll get the papers drawn up. I went on to say what ever happen to in sickness and health, for richer or poor till death do us part. Her answer was….”life is too short.” I have not talked to her since the 18th of last month.
I’m going to back up here a bit and give a little health history on the wife. She has been having memory issues over the last year, with the last 6 getting worse. She has been diagnosed with having memory loss, amnesia, depression, depression with anxiety. When she isn’t under stress these issues calm down and everything appears to be normal.
Since that last call, she has closed our accounts at the bank. Applied for government housing, changed her cell phone number, and mailing address.
The house that I’m in now was my parents and I had to fight a legal battle with the witch that moved in with him after my mom passed away. That witch had got him to believe he had no children, or that we were going to put him into a nursing home and steal the house. See, my dad was in full dementia mode at the time. He has since passed on.
All of my wife’s belongings, clothes, dishes, furniture that she had prior to us getting married “are still in this house. The only thing she took out were some clothing, personal items, and over 10K in jewelry that I have gotten her over the last 25 years.
There are two possibilities of why she has not come to get the rest of her stuff. She has no place to put it or store it. The other is a possibility of reconciliation. I have hopes for the latter, but the former keeps busting up the thought of reconciliation.
There are two major problems in our marriage. Money, and me getting hot under the collar when she excuses me of doing something, of which I didn’t. I’ve had the issue with me since my teen years.
My wife came from a poor family and anytime there is money available, she goes through it like wind through cotton candy. She impulse buys, she buys the things she wants but does not need. She is, in fact, a hoarder. Now I do my fair share of spending, but I try as much as possible to put off those things that I would like to have and pay the bills first.
There is a third issue, my employment. For the last 5-7 years I’ve heard say over and over again, “I’ve had to work my whole life.” She sees me not contributing to the money shortage due to a lack of work on my part. Due to a layoff, got fired a couple of times, and due to a fractured femur bone. It took three operations and the last two years to learn to walk again. Now this accident, so I’m off for at least 6 weeks to mend my back. I’m going to do it in three.
She has meant with a former Pastor of ours, and the job situation with me is her biggest problem. I too have talked to him about all this. He says that for women, security, security, security is the primary need. With us men, I’ll primary need is sex.
She is the Love of my life but after these weeks of separation. I’m finding myself backing away from her. She walks once, what is going to stop her again when trouble rears its ugly head.
I’m at a loss of what to do. I sent to her a typed eight-page letter on Thursday asking forgiveness concerning my screaming at her on the phone and anything else that I've done to hurt her. I did no finger pointing in her direction for things that concern me about her.
Thanks for listening.