Financial Problems in MarriageWhen financial times are tough, it adds to the stress we deal with on a daily basis. This section is for talking about how financial problems affect our relationships and ways to cope.
Before my wife and I got married I was told that one of the biggest stumbling blocks in marriages is financial problems. These words marked me because I take my financial responsibilities very seriously.
My home is a single income house. My wife stays at home and takes care of our 7 month old daughter.
Usually, we have pretty solid finances, but these past couple of months have drained my savings to an alarmingly low $2,000.
"We need new screen doors"
"The baby needs vaccines!"
"The car is breaking down"
"The bill for that dental crown came in!"
"We need to go to the hospital"
My wife and I had a fight and she told me I've been acting really negative lately. But every time she gave me an example, I could always trace it back to worrying about money. Do we have enough money to pay the bills, go grocery shopping, get vaccines and still bring our savings up to level with I can provide emergency funds for my family if something happened? It seems that I'm the only one worrying about these things.
I want my wife to understand that this is not an easy burden to carry, and I'm looking for ways to make her a more active member in the family finances so that she can get a new perspective on our economic reality.
I'm thinking about giving her a small fund to manage our food budget and pediatric care. To me, this sounds like a good idea to get her more involved in our money issues, but I dunno, it could also lead to more fighting about money.
What do you guys think? How do you guys deal with fights that stem from money issues.
Also, personal stories and advice about how you manage a single income home is greatly appreciated.
We've been single income for awhile, not by choice. We cut back to one car and really had to change our habits. We manage with one bank account and no credit cards. We both keep an eye on the account on an almost daily basis. Every pay day we sit down together and decide which bills get paid and what's going to be left for food, travel and other.
Its taken two years for us to adjust, it's still difficult, but its become manageable. We've argued but its mostly boiled down to us both being frustrated with the situation we're in.
We've been single income for awhile, not by choice. We cut back to one car and really had to change our habits. We manage with one bank account and no credit cards. We both keep an eye on the account on an almost daily basis. Every pay day we sit down together and decide which bills get paid and what's going to be left for food, travel and other.
Its taken two years for us to adjust, it's still difficult, but its become manageable. We've argued but its mostly boiled down to us both being frustrated with the situation we're in.
Doing things together and making decisions on finances together does help. Have her look over the bills with you and look over the household income and like in the above post.. decide which bills get paid, ect. If you two could use it.. I recommend getting foodstamps, medicaid(For the vaccinations and any other medical issues) and help with childcare if your wife decides she wants to help bring in some money later on.
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"Feelings get you in relationships quickly, and feelings get you out of relationships quickly. Feelings do not fill in the for the sacrifice and dedication needed to make a relationship work. Feelings get themselves hurt." ~Nsweet~ Ignorance is an equal opportunity employer.~DedicatedDad~
I realized something. The reason why my wife doesn't take this as seriously as I do is because she is unaware of how much money we have at any given time.
I told my wife that I'm gonna put up a marker board on the fridge to help us keep track of our spending. On this board, I'm gonna put how much money we have each week and how much is gonna go to bills. Each time something gets paid, groceries get bought or gas goes in the car we're gonna update the board. She thinks it's a great idea.
I'll also give her some spending cash that she can use without having to think about the budget.
Before my wife and I got married I was told that one of the biggest stumbling blocks in marriages is financial problems. These words marked me because I take my financial responsibilities very seriously.
My home is a single income house. My wife stays at home and takes care of our 7 month old daughter.
Usually, we have pretty solid finances, but these past couple of months have drained my savings to an alarmingly low $2,000.
"We need new screen doors"
"The baby needs vaccines!"
"The car is breaking down"
"The bill for that dental crown came in!"
"We need to go to the hospital"
My wife and I had a fight and she told me I've been acting really negative lately. But every time she gave me an example, I could always trace it back to worrying about money. Do we have enough money to pay the bills, go grocery shopping, get vaccines and still bring our savings up to level with I can provide emergency funds for my family if something happened? It seems that I'm the only one worrying about these things.
I want my wife to understand that this is not an easy burden to carry, and I'm looking for ways to make her a more active member in the family finances so that she can get a new perspective on our economic reality.
I'm thinking about giving her a small fund to manage our food budget and pediatric care. To me, this sounds like a good idea to get her more involved in our money issues, but I dunno, it could also lead to more fighting about money.
What do you guys think? How do you guys deal with fights that stem from money issues.
Also, personal stories and advice about how you manage a single income home is greatly appreciated.
if you can learn to live without it its not a need!
I realized something. The reason why my wife doesn't take this as seriously as I do is because she is unaware of how much money we have at any given time.
I told my wife that I'm gonna put up a marker board on the fridge to help us keep track of our spending. On this board, I'm gonna put how much money we have each week and how much is gonna go to bills. Each time something gets paid, groceries get bought or gas goes in the car we're gonna update the board. She thinks it's a great idea.
I'll also give her some spending cash that she can use without having to think about the budget.
Let's see how this goes.
We're also single income while my wife goes back to school. My wife doesn't have a great concept of money, so as things have gotten tighter, we've had more issues with money. Nothing major, but still annoying.
So I told her we're going to try something: I know how much all of our recurring bills are every month (including savings) and how much disposable income we have left over. At the beginning of every month, I'm going to withdraw that disposable amount of income as cash, and that will be our "play" money for the rest of the month. This includes online shopping. Once it's gone, it's gone. The credit cards (except for one emergency card for each of us) will be frozen in a block of ice in the freezer.
This is a modified "envelope" budget style, but we'll see how it goes. I'm hoping this will make the money less abstract to my wife.
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Battle Cry of the Single Income House 
Doing things together and making decisions on finances together does help. Have her look over the bills with you and look over the household income and like in the above post.. decide which bills get paid, ect. If you two could use it.. I recommend getting foodstamps, medicaid(For the vaccinations and any other medical issues) and help with childcare if your wife decides she wants to help bring in some money later on.
