I've addressed some of the joint questions in my previous post. But I do want to clarify that I've done the math and at the end of the month after I pay all the bills, I have less that she does for discretionary spending. Yes I make more money, but we have a decent sized mortgage and other conveniences that I pay for. So this is not an issue of me having more than her at all.
I'd understand your concerns if it was.
Ok I missed the above...
I assume that you are subtracting out of her discressionary spending per car and cell payments?
When married it usually makes sense to run the finances in a way that reflects the legal reality of marriage. The both of your are responsible for all of the bills and all of the income belongs to both of you.
So that would mean having an account from which all bills are paid. All income goes into that joint account.
Pay yourself first. This means to put 10% of your income into savings every payday. If you are both putting 10% into 410K's at work that would cover this.
Put a percentage every pay day into an savings so that you have a buffer for emergencies. This money is only touched for emergencies 5% - 10%. Just handle this as a bill.
Then pay all of your bills to include her car and her cell out of the joint account.
Then an amount is left in the account to cover groceries and other expect bills for the pay period.
Now after all of the above is covered spelt the remainder in half so that each of you gets exactly the same amount of spending money a month.
If she canno live on that then she has to find a way to earn more money. And her new income would still go into the joint pot.
There is a book if suggest that the two of you read together "Smart Couples Finish Rich".
The most explains how some people just blow money and what the cost of that is to the person's and the couple's financial hearlth. It's a great book.