Venting, venting, venting
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Financial Problems in Marriage When financial times are tough, it adds to the stress we deal with on a daily basis. This section is for talking about how financial problems affect our relationships and ways to cope.

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Old 08-18-2012, 08:07 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Default Venting, venting, venting

I'm feeling totally over whelmed!! I just need to vent and put out there what is going on finaincially. Some of you already know the story a bit. We lost our house and had to move in with my in laws, there is no work for my husband in our state so 2 weeks after we moved in with his parents he went to work in the state he wants to move us too. The union sub contractor he was working for was horrible. He was just laid off the same day as I was driving out to see him. We had already made anniversary plans. We had a great anniversary despite him being laid off. He had pre paid for almost everything. He believed and I believed that he would be right back to work. Its now been over a week though. I'm back in our home state and hes still 800 miles away. He just paid rent for anohter week and says hes giivng it until friday to find work. If he doesn't find work then hes coming home and he will do unemployment for that state then unemploymnet for our own state. I find myself hoping he doesn't get work and having a strong intuition he won't because of so many other people out of work too. Not that I don't have confidence in him. I also want him home with me so bad. On our state unemployment he can go to school though his work and gt extra $ per week. We were able to live comfortably on his monthly unemplyment even without the extra $$. We are going through bankrupcy right now too. We also owe his mom $3100. I told him Id rather him come home and redo our food stamps/medicaid, get bankrupcy finalized, keep paying our debts we are keeping down(cars), pay his mom $600 per month and he can take aclass at his work to make himself more valuable. Then he can go back to work in the state he wants to move us too when there is like 50-70 calls on the jobline again, our bankrupcy will be finalized, cars paid down some more, his mom paid off and we would be abel to move within a few months of him working out there.

But his pride is so strong that hes continuing to show up at the hall to get a job before others on the list that are before him (hes # 97) get there. There is a chance he can go to work before others if he has called on a job and no one else takes it. Hes says hes been 1 person away from getting a job twice.

I just wnt him home so bad. After seeing him for our anniversary for almost a week, I'm having a hard time being without him. Especially because hes not working right now and our son is having surgery next Tuesday.

I think he really doesn't want to be living at his partns, so thats one reason he is sticking with his pride
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Old 08-19-2012, 03:11 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Default Re: Venting, venting, venting

It sounds like he's doing all that he can for you in the situation and given his pride. I understand you miss him, he's giving it until Friday and then he's coming back? .....So if you know he has his pride and that's a reason he's sticking with it, and you recognize what he's trying to do, then my suggestion would be to continue showing your support to him - whether he gets the job or not. Tell him you're proud of the kind of man he is.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but I get the impression you've expressed what you'd like, he's listened and said he wants to give it until Friday? Roll with it.

I don't know your back-story or if he could get back to be there for your son's surgery. I do otherwise think his time-frame sounds reasonable though, and it sounds like he's trying his best. Support him in that.
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Old 08-20-2012, 11:00 AM   #3 (permalink)
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Default Re: Venting, venting, venting

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Originally Posted by heartsbeating View Post
It sounds like he's doing all that he can for you in the situation and given his pride. I understand you miss him, he's giving it until Friday and then he's coming back? .....So if you know he has his pride and that's a reason he's sticking with it, and you recognize what he's trying to do, then my suggestion would be to continue showing your support to him - whether he gets the job or not. Tell him you're proud of the kind of man he is.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but I get the impression you've expressed what you'd like, he's listened and said he wants to give it until Friday? Roll with it.

I don't know your back-story or if he could get back to be there for your son's surgery. I do otherwise think his time-frame sounds reasonable though, and it sounds like he's trying his best. Support him in that.
Yes he is doing all he can to support our family. This morning he said he got through to unemployment and its good news, they are combining the 2 states so he will get more money per week. He will get it for 2 months and then have to file for emergency unemployment. he said his plan is still to give it until Friday to find a job then come home, but he said if on friday it looks promising that there might be more jobs next week he is staying another week.

Our son who has autism and is unable to understand things, is having a hell of a time. He just said this morning "is his daddy going to stop being his daddy?" and "is he ever going to come back home?"
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