Financial Problems in MarriageWhen financial times are tough, it adds to the stress we deal with on a daily basis. This section is for talking about how financial problems affect our relationships and ways to cope.
I really don't think it's a phobia at all, considering that he has no problem spending money on things that he wants/needs. And when I bought him his first motor bike years ago, he had no problem with me spending that kind of cash on him.
I'm starting to think that maybe its a commitment issue. Thinking back, he's always had a problem with commitment. Never saw it before until recently.
We had been together for 8 years before we got married. Dated 3 years before we moved in together, lived together for 5 years before we got married. Then there is our own house issue. Doesn't want to commit to that. And now the whole car issue. Because taking out a loan would require some sort of commitment from him.
Then he should save and buy cars cash... at least good used cars.
If you were calling him cheap because you wanted a 2010 Mercedes, I would say you are nutz.
But having a problem because you want to trade in your 17 year old vehicle for a 7 year old used vehicle that will be safer is not cheap. It's just trying to be safe. Especially when you CAN afford to do it. I would press the issue a little more. Don't get mean or anything, but stay on him. Make sure he thinks of the safety of you and your kids. Tell him that you aren't a Mechanic, so if your current POS breaks down in a -20 degree Canadian night, you can't fix it to get everyone home.
Thanks everyone for your replies. I did get my new to me car. Funny thing, he's enjoying it just as much as I am. Before, if he had to run out to the store, he would take his car instead of my van (he didn't even like driving around in it). Now, he's taking the new car to the store and gets a little upset when I want to drive instead of him. He is still a bit of a mommas boy, even though we've been together for so long, so having his parents on my side through this was very helpfull.
OMG this is my life too please tell me what you did so i can do it too. My boyfriend buys (online) anything he wants. And when i need something he says we are suppose to be saving money...WHY DO MEN THINK THEY ARE SO GOOD WITH MONEY and we only spend spend spend....good luck to you and stand your ground
memerek, isn't it sad that we have to beg for something we "NEED" but they can spend money on whatever they feel like buying (ie. the $125 gas tank that wasn't needed for HIS motor bike)?
Before approaching him on a major expense, make a list of ALL of your expenses/income. Show him that you can afford it if you stopped blowing your money on things you don't really need.
next is cash for refridgerators and other kitchen appliances, I read it in the news. I'm waiting for it to start to get a new dishwasher.
I'm cheap too................
and want a super deal. Letting you know as you may want to upgrade your kitchen as soon as it starts, since you missed out on the superdeals on cash for cars program.
Well, since we rent where our fridge, stove, washer, dryer (we're not allowed to have dishwashers) are included... I wont be asking for new appliances any time too soon.... besides, our NEW appliances are sitting in storage... where they have been sitting for the last 5 years. We were only suppose to live in our cozy 2 bedroom apt. (plus a loft big enough to fit ONE bed) for about a year! We were suppose to move in here, where our utilities are included, to save money so we could look into buying a house for the 5 of us. After FIVE YEARS, and one of the kids moving out, and the next one in about a year... we wont have the NEED for a house anymore.
We didn't miss out on a super deal for our newer car ... we got it at a super price! $3000 + under asking price!!! Not to bad if I do say so myself... and H agrees!
WOW.... this sounds kind of my husband , he bought me new car but he always asks for reciepts even if some times i through away by mistake he checks the trash to see if i have taken money or what i bought or where i spent. and very cheap to spend on dinners . one day i was feeling very very sick i had lower back pain badly (as i have two kids ) i called him to the office and said that i cannot cook today can we eat taco or something ( I love to cook and mojority of the time i cook at home) first he said ok..... then b4 coming home he called me and asked how i m feeling i said i m ok now then he said then make a dinner at home , this is small thing but there are so many things and times it happend to me i feel now alot bcoz i see my friends hubby are very nice and caring to them i feel ver sad i m from over seas and all alone here so may be he thinks he can do wot ever he wants too but wana know if it is normal or i m feeling different???
WOW.... this sounds kind of my husband , he bought me new car but he always asks for reciepts even if some times i through away by mistake he checks the trash to see if i have taken money or what i bought or where i spent. and very cheap to spend on dinners . one day i was feeling very very sick i had lower back pain badly (as i have two kids ) i called him to the office and said that i cannot cook today can we eat taco or something ( I love to cook and mojority of the time i cook at home) first he said ok..... then b4 coming home he called me and asked how i m feeling i said i m ok now then he said then make a dinner at home , this is small thing but there are so many things and times it happend to me i feel now alot bcoz i see my friends hubby are very nice and caring to them i feel ver sad i m from over seas and all alone here so may be he thinks he can do wot ever he wants too but wana know if it is normal or i m feeling different???
It was inconsiderate of your hubby to ask you to cook when you were not feeling well.
Once in a while we can give us a break and relax a little bit!
I think he has trust issues about you because you said that you are from overseas.
A lot of people who marry foreign brides are like that.
But please don't be offended. He has to get over that fear. And the most you can do is by showing you want to have a loving relationship with him together. Do things to show him that you care for him and you love him. Hey, he bought you a new car, that's not cheap!
My husband was a cheap bastard when we first met, he didn't buy me anything while we were dating. He is just naturally cheap, even he himself admits it. It never bothered me. Now we just joke about it and laugh about it. I always tease him for being cheap!
Now our financial situation is better, he is very generous!
If he is that cheap then you should have plenty of money. That is a blessing in itself. Whether or not you have a dependable car is a safety issue as far as the family is concerned. It is reasonable to want one reliable car. The price is negotiable but whether or not a car is reliable and in good working order is not in my mind. You don't have to be a mechanic to know if everything that should work does. If the heater doesn't during the winter and it fogs up you breaking the law by driving with an obstructed windshield. The final decision will always be yours but the discussion of this matter between you and your husband comes down to respect more than his frugality. If he discounts all of your arguments for why you should have a reliable vehicle then your problem has nothing to do with how cheap he is.
WOW.... this sounds kind of my husband , he bought me new car but he always asks for reciepts even if some times i through away by mistake he checks the trash to see if i have taken money or what i bought or where i spent. and very cheap to spend on dinners . one day i was feeling very very sick i had lower back pain badly (as i have two kids ) i called him to the office and said that i cannot cook today can we eat taco or something ( I love to cook and mojority of the time i cook at home) first he said ok..... then b4 coming home he called me and asked how i m feeling i said i m ok now then he said then make a dinner at home , this is small thing but there are so many things and times it happend to me i feel now alot bcoz i see my friends hubby are very nice and caring to them i feel ver sad i m from over seas and all alone here so may be he thinks he can do wot ever he wants too but wana know if it is normal or i m feeling different???
Your husband is being awful. Even if you are not sick, you should not have to cook every night. he should help you out and he should take you out to dinner or buy dinner to bring home sometimes too. It's fun to eat different things, and to go out. He sounds like he takes you for granted and doesn't appreciate you.
Your husband is being awful. Even if you are not sick, you should not have to cook every night. he should help you out and he should take you out to dinner or buy dinner to bring home sometimes too. It's fun to eat different things, and to go out. He sounds like he takes you for granted and doesn't appreciate you.
I think it is also a good idea to eat out once in a while! Eating at home every day is boring! Even though I cook different things every day, but it is still very refreshing to eat out sometimes, just to have different flavor.
I used to cook five days a week, we ate out on the weekends.
But recently I have been crazy about saving money, so I offered to cook every day. But on Saturdays and Sundays I just cook one meal, we still eat out for another meal.
I have noticed that our money doesn't disappear very fast on the weekends now!
I think it is also a good idea to eat out once in a while! Eating at home every day is boring! Even though I cook different things every day, but it is still very refreshing to eat out sometimes, just to have different flavor.
I used to cook five days a week, we ate out on the weekends.
But recently I have been crazy about saving money, so I offered to cook every day. But on Saturdays and Sundays I just cook one meal, we still eat out for another meal.
I have noticed that our money doesn't disappear very fast on the weekends now!
That's a really good way to do it, and that is what I try to do too. eat out on the weekends, eat in and cook healthy meals during the week, and I make all my own lunches for at work.
I am lucky too because my fiance is a very good cook, so he likes to cook with me or to even cook him self. we both enjoy it. But he also takes me out a lot too. <3 He would never want me to cook if I was sick I am sure.
But what's his time worth? Why spend 8 hrs fixing something for 10 bucks when you could work 8 hrs and make $300 or something like that? I need an alignment on my 8 year old Camry with 130K miles on it. $80 for the work. Seems like a good deal to me. Just keep it running till the wheels fall off or until it costs more to fix than to replace with a 3 year old car from CARMAX.
Re: Cheap Husband 
Re: Cheap Husband 
then b4 coming home he called me and asked how i m feeling i said i m ok now then he said then make a dinner at home , this is small thing but there are so many things and times it happend to me i feel now alot bcoz i see my friends hubby are very nice and caring to them i feel ver sad i m from over seas and all alone here so may be he thinks he can do wot ever he wants too but wana know if it is normal or i m feeling different???
