Husband wants a new car
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Navigation »Talk About Marriage »Focused Topics »Financial Problems in Marriage » Husband wants a new car

Financial Problems in Marriage When financial times are tough, it adds to the stress we deal with on a daily basis. This section is for talking about how financial problems affect our relationships and ways to cope.

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Old 06-10-2009, 05:01 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Default Husband wants a new car

Glad I found this site...I'm 34 years old and I've been married to my husband for almost 13 years and we have a 3 year old daughter. We just bought a home last summer, and we have one car payment only (only owe another $1,000) and no other debt except for the house. We make a little over $100k a year and don't struggle with our bills, but now my husband wants to buy a very expensive car (there is nothing wrong with his car - barely drives it since he has a company truck for work) so his car is 2004 WRX and he recently got new rims and tires for the car. Now he wants a BMW M5 and I'm scared to death about what that is going to do to our finances. He is a very materialistic person and has bugged me about this car for the past year and I've stood firm on my rejection to his idea of buying the car - he's willing to buy a used one for around $50k, but I feel this is ridiculous! He does all the finances so he knows exactly where we stand financially, but I feel his need for this car is very unrealistic and he's not putting his family's needs first. He makes more money and works 6 to 7 days a week. I enjoy not having money issues, but I know this purchase is going to put a strain on our marriage. He is a recovering alcoholic - so I definately know his decision is selfish and I don't want to be his mother and say "no" since he works very hard to help provide for us. I'm starting to cave to his decision and I know inside it's a bad idea to give in, but I'm so tired of him bugging me about this already. Any advice?
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Old 06-11-2009, 12:00 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Default Re: Husband wants a new car

well what does he do for a living? We just bought my wife a 2009 Honda Pilot, we make over 150K a year.

It really depends on the financing he wants, I found you a Black 2006 BMW M5 with 42K Miles for $46,000 at CarMax in LA.

2006 BMW M5 in Los Angeles, CA- 5805558 at carmax.com

But really it boils down to your finances. what can you afford? Sit down and come out with a budget, figure out payments, insuance, how much will it coast to maintain and operate.

BMW's are great cars and if you are in good financial standing this is the time to buy cars, we got our honda Pilot for 25,000 when it is a MRSP of 34,000 A BMW M5 is a 85,000 MSRP car!!!!

good luck, think it through, have him do the research but 50K for a 2003, is a bad deal unless the milage is really low. I found you a better deal in 5 min.
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Old 06-11-2009, 02:22 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Default Re: Husband wants a new car

I don't have a yeah/neah opinion on buying the car, or its price, but would only advise to focus on expected depreciation as opposed to the "50k". Generally speaking, buying and selling used cars is less expensive than buying new ones. That said, if he's picking up a ~2 year old M5, the depreciation is still going to smart over the next 3. Figure 20-30k, not counting maintenance, etc. What else that sum buys is what you should be comparing the cost to.

I bought a used 911 soon before my wife and I married and, despite having sold it 10yrs latter for 3k less than I paid, it is still a sore subject
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Old 06-12-2009, 02:32 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Default Re: Husband wants a new car

I read somewhere that if you are planning on financing something and arent sure if you can afford it that you should find out what it'll cost a month and then for six months save that much money. if you can save that much money for six months and still be ok then its fine.

so maybe you two could figure out what it will cost a month and then do a six month trial with saving the money. tell him that if things go smoothly, all the other bills are met, and your relationship doesnt suffer then you'll consider it.
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Old 06-20-2009, 02:07 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Default Re: Husband wants a new car

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Originally Posted by rufnpuf View Post
Glad I found this site...I'm 34 years old and I've been married to my husband for almost 13 years and we have a 3 year old daughter. We just bought a home last summer, and we have one car payment only (only owe another $1,000) and no other debt except for the house. We make a little over $100k a year and don't struggle with our bills, but now my husband wants to buy a very expensive car (there is nothing wrong with his car - barely drives it since he has a company truck for work) so his car is 2004 WRX and he recently got new rims and tires for the car. Now he wants a BMW M5 and I'm scared to death about what that is going to do to our finances. He is a very materialistic person and has bugged me about this car for the past year and I've stood firm on my rejection to his idea of buying the car - he's willing to buy a used one for around $50k, but I feel this is ridiculous! He does all the finances so he knows exactly where we stand financially, but I feel his need for this car is very unrealistic and he's not putting his family's needs first. He makes more money and works 6 to 7 days a week. I enjoy not having money issues, but I know this purchase is going to put a strain on our marriage. He is a recovering alcoholic - so I definately know his decision is selfish and I don't want to be his mother and say "no" since he works very hard to help provide for us. I'm starting to cave to his decision and I know inside it's a bad idea to give in, but I'm so tired of him bugging me about this already. Any advice?
Just an idea for you... but maybe you can suggest instead of him buying the new car, you use some money every month to deposit in your childs education fund...

that way you won't sound like his mother and you'll be saving, not going into debt.
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Old 02-15-2010, 04:45 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Default Re: Husband wants a new car

what's the payment on the WRX? What will the payment be on the M5? Whats the difference? Will he be trading the WRX or keeping it?

What this boils down to is, if he's trading the WRX, the payment on the M5 might not be that different to what you're already used to.

I can tell you that I bought a brand new car in 07. It was a little over 31K and with financing over 5 years, our finances are a struggle. We make about 140k between us, have a 150k mortgage and 2 kids.
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Old 02-15-2010, 11:11 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Default Re: Husband wants a new car

This is a ratio problem. It is insane to purchase a car that costs about half your total family income. Unless you have already saved for your 3 year olds college fund this is a super selfish thing to do. Who does he need to impress?

How are things physically? Because if he is totally satisfied with you physically/sexually and has no need to impress other woman/women than I don't get why this matters so much to him.

Quote:
Originally Posted by rufnpuf View Post
Glad I found this site...I'm 34 years old and I've been married to my husband for almost 13 years and we have a 3 year old daughter. We just bought a home last summer, and we have one car payment only (only owe another $1,000) and no other debt except for the house. We make a little over $100k a year and don't struggle with our bills, but now my husband wants to buy a very expensive car (there is nothing wrong with his car - barely drives it since he has a company truck for work) so his car is 2004 WRX and he recently got new rims and tires for the car. Now he wants a BMW M5 and I'm scared to death about what that is going to do to our finances. He is a very materialistic person and has bugged me about this car for the past year and I've stood firm on my rejection to his idea of buying the car - he's willing to buy a used one for around $50k, but I feel this is ridiculous! He does all the finances so he knows exactly where we stand financially, but I feel his need for this car is very unrealistic and he's not putting his family's needs first. He makes more money and works 6 to 7 days a week. I enjoy not having money issues, but I know this purchase is going to put a strain on our marriage. He is a recovering alcoholic - so I definately know his decision is selfish and I don't want to be his mother and say "no" since he works very hard to help provide for us. I'm starting to cave to his decision and I know inside it's a bad idea to give in, but I'm so tired of him bugging me about this already. Any advice?
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Old 02-16-2010, 08:31 AM   #8 (permalink)
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Default Re: Husband wants a new car

i would ask his age... mid life? ok yes he is a man and wants a shinny new car to make him look good?

if he will not sit down with you and make the pros and cons of buying the car and also list the money down... be real when doing this then go to a finiancial advisor (you can do on line at little to no cost) and see what it will cost you.

now i will say the economy is very shaky right now and for some buying anything is a risk... but with that there is also many tax breaks and car companies are trying hard to sell you something they are really offering good buys.. so there are goods and bads to each side...

but if you are not comfortable 100% or at least 98% then it will be a strain esp if you are the one to write the check every month... so you have to be at least in the same book with big purchases if you can't be on the same page...
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Old 02-22-2010, 06:48 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Default Re: Husband wants a new car

You guys/gals are crazy I would never pay ANY of kids college without some serious effort on their part. My oldest (senior highschool) has know for years if she wanted to go to higher end private school SCHOLARSHIP. Guess what? Did she want it that bad? NOPE!

Even now she is so all over the map a decent student 3.3gpa 26act......"Pre-law I think dad or Psychology maybe" to me so unfocused that I would never front the bill. If she was concise, planned, and focused had put forth the work to nail the grades and work the plan maybe, but with her attitude now eh eh. Great kid.......but not worth me shucking out 16K/yr for uncertainty. The deal is if she gets a 3.5gpa or above I'll pay any student loans she needs to take out if not "Oh well and within reason of course".

Part of this is from our upbringing our parents didn't provide ANYTHING and we busted tail took out loans have paid 70% of them off, but by taking out loans it forced us to focus and not party!!

I have friends whose parents paid for their school they got degrees and are stay at home moms or don't even use their degree in their current job. I know one or two that are career students school for the sake of school!!

For all of the "Save and pay for your kids college group" my kids would have to show some amazing focus for me to pay upfront. If not it's loans and then I'll pay them off with the correct GPA and pending graduation just like a employer does it.

As far as the car 50K is pretty silly when the income is 100k. You guys should be saving alot with the debt load you have now maybe work a 6-12 month plan, make sure credit is A+, a solid downpayment at 0-1.9% might be manageable 1-2 years old CPO car.

Good luck!!

Last edited by OhGeesh; 02-22-2010 at 06:57 PM.
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Old 06-24-2010, 01:17 AM   #10 (permalink)
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Default Re: Husband wants a new car

in my case, its me who wants to buy a new escalade esv. its more for showing off. my husband is more...umm..country, laid back.. anyway, i didn't get it. i'm okay about it. bottom line is, if you can't afford it, don't get it. better not have it to begin with or he'll end up on reality tv "REPO". don't think he will want to mess with those guys or that one big angry looking female. lol
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