Financial Problems in MarriageWhen financial times are tough, it adds to the stress we deal with on a daily basis. This section is for talking about how financial problems affect our relationships and ways to cope.
We've been married for two years. We've had a house with a joint mortgage for almost as long. We bought the house with 0 down, and rolled some of the closing costs into the mortgage, so we started out upside down, owing more than the purchase price. For the first four months of our marriage, we had a joint account where both our paychecks were deposited. He sunk all his extra money into building up his car and drinking beer. I sunk all my extra money into furniture and repairs for the house. After four months, we'd had several domestic violence instances in which he physically abused me, and one of them finally made it to the police and ended with him spending a few hours in jail. At that point, we split finances and he took up a separate residence.
Since then, he has not contributed anything toward the mortgage payments. We've been trying for the past year and a half to work things out with our marriage, but have finally given up and decided to divorce. However, because we had a joint account at the time, he believes that he should be entitled to half of the furniture in the house, half of the equity in the house, and ALL of his mortgage payments back, even though he only contributed $1,800 to the payments in the first four months ($246 of it actually went to the principal balance). He refuses to sign the release of liability (which takes his name off the mortgage) unless I pay him $1,800 for his part of the mortgage payments, half the purchase price of all the furniture in the house, plus half of the equity in the house (I've been paying an extra $1,000 a month toward the principal of the mortgage and finally got the balance to be less than the purchase price of the house). However, due to falling home prices, even though the balance on the mortgage is less than what we paid for the house, it is still more than the house is worth, so we can't even sell it to settle the dispute.
I know that if he thinks he should get half the value of the furniture then I should get half the value of his car, but after all the thousands he spent on it, his car is still a pile of crap and his insurance company only estimates the value of it at $3,000, so it would hardly be a fair trade. Because all purchases came from a joint account, I can't reallly prove that the money used for the furniture and repairs was mine and the money used for the car and the beer was his.
Does anyone have any legal advice on how I can get his name off the mortgage, and what he's actually entitled to? I don't want to have spent the last two years busting my ass to turn my house into a home just to have someone else tear it all down trying to win some money out of me just because he blew all his on a crappy car.
you seriously need a lawyer since he's messing with you... instead of paying down your principal, seek a lawyer to handle this paperwork as they know more dirty divorce tricks than you could imagine.
I see what your saying that you've been responsbile and he hasn't, yet he wants equity. I believe unless you get a lawyer he will not cooperate and the more time that goes by, the more equity builds.
Be sure to gather reciepts for the furniture and also checks made out to pay on principal before you see the lawyer.
On your own, looks like he's just going to keep messing with you.
Unless he voluntarily signs your going to have to come up with a plan, which is where the attorney can help you.
Only way to remove him that I know of is to refi him off the loan..which can be written into said divorce papers by said lawyer that Preso mentioned you should attain.
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"Cause I'll be there, in the back of your mind, from the day we met to the very last night, and it's just too bad, you've already had the best days, the best days of your life..."
She was saying $1,800. to get him off the mortgage. She needs him off the DEED to the property and the mortgage (at least in Texas you do). That is why I said get an attorney...as am not sure she understands she needs him off DEED, needs to do both; but it is all done in property settlement during divorce proceedings.
Even if she got him off both the house deed and mortgage, without legal divorce proceedings in process I think all that could be reversed if he got nasty, he could yank it back?
When I was about 18, I bought a watch ( expensive one) with a BF to build up our credit. We broke up a few months later. He failed to pay anything ( I paid it off) and 10 years later when I bought my house I found out our credit was still tied together and had to go through hell to get him off my credit. Thankfully he never used credit or he could have screwed me from buying my house by being tied to me and failing to make payments on the stuff he bought.
So be sure he is also removed from your credit, so your names are not forever together.
You really do need a lawyer as this can get complicated.
When I bought my house I bought it in my own name and no one elses name, thank God for that. In the future I advise you do the same to avoid any bad surprises.
It's not just the $1,800 he wants for his half of the mortgage payments. He also wants half the purchase price of all the furniture in it. He thinks that even though I paid for it all, that I can't prove it because both our money was in the same account at the time. It all totals up to about $20,000 in furniture. $5,000 of it was paid with savings I came into the marriage with that I can prove, the other $15,000 came from five months of pay that all went directly into the bills and the furniture. He sunk an equal amount into his car that he bought at the same time, but after all he spent on it, his car is still only appraised at about $3,000-$4,000. It seems that even if I claim half of his property (the car), I'm still going to lose unless I can find a way to prove that I was responsible for buying it. So add $10,000 to that $1,800 he wants back, plus he also wants half the equity I paid into the house which would give him another roughly $8,000, ALL out of my pocket. The ONLY thing he contributed to was the $1,800, which would get him off rent-free for those four months if he gets it, which is not a big deal, but the other $18,000 is. It wouldn't be an issue except for the fact that I don't have $18,000 to give him even if I did want to pay him off to get him out of my life. Him harassing me at work is not a big deal because I am in the military and he is not, and because of the domestic issue he's not allowed on post anymore. I was going to consider living on post or in the barracks until this blows over, so that I can be safe from him, but I have pets at home that I need to take care of plus I want to make sure he doesn't show up and vandalize the house like he has done before when I ran away from him. Thanks for the replies and keep the advice coming!
How to separate mortgage
