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Navigation »Talk About Marriage »Focused Topics »Financial Problems in Marriage » Support your local spouse?

Financial Problems in Marriage When financial times are tough, it adds to the stress we deal with on a daily basis. This section is for talking about how financial problems affect our relationships and ways to cope.

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Old 07-31-2009, 04:30 PM   #1 (permalink)
Mog
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Default Support your local spouse?

My wife lost her job about two weeks ago. She has always enjoyed photography so when she found a studio hiring people without any training she was very excited. She has not applied for, or even shown interest in anything else.

The job is seasonal. 20 people will be hired to work from August until November. After that, 10 of them will be asked back for work from January to May. If she makes it through all of that there is a chance that one or two people will be hired permanently (or at least as permanently as possible).

It is a sizable cut in pay and she will not have any benefits.

I have been trying to be as supportive as possible though and I want her to be happy, but I have some very serious concerns about this job.

She found out today that she got the job and she is very excited and wants to go celebrate. We have been married for five years and known each other for ten so trying to hide my stress is pretty much out of the question.

How do I let her know how concerned I am about this without upsetting her or looking like I want to smash her dreams?
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Old 07-31-2009, 04:42 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Default Re: Support your local spouse?

Be excited about the job. If the only concern is the money then see how it goes and budget accordingly. Let her know you are concerned but happy that she has found something she really likes. If she is happy and the budget affords it you will both be happier in the end. With the market as bad as it is right now why not go with the flow as there aren’t many jobs available. If it doesn’t work out in the end at least she had the opportunity to try and the support from you.
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Old 07-31-2009, 05:11 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Although I am as to why you are concerned? Is it that you want her to find a full time job with bennies, and you'd rather she look at something else, or something more promising?



Be careful...because no matter how much money one makes at a job, a job that one hates is worse than no job at all IMHO.
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Old 07-31-2009, 08:14 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Default Re: Support your local spouse?

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Originally Posted by Amplexor View Post
Be excited about the job. If the only concern is the money then see how it goes and budget accordingly. Let her know you are concerned but happy that she has found something she really likes. If she is happy and the budget affords it you will both be happier in the end. With the market as bad as it is right now why not go with the flow as there aren’t many jobs available. If it doesn’t work out in the end at least she had the opportunity to try and the support from you.
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Old 08-03-2009, 01:20 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Although I am as to why you are concerned? Is it that you want her to find a full time job with bennies, and you'd rather she look at something else, or something more promising?



Be careful...because no matter how much money one makes at a job, a job that one hates is worse than no job at all IMHO.
Sorry, I have not been able to get to a computer for a bit. The weekend was a little crazy.

My concern was (and to be honest still is a little bit) the temporary nature of the job. I am very happy that she will have the opportunity to become a photographer, but I am a little nervous about what happens if she does not get hired on full time.

Because she is so excited about this, it is going to hit her harder if it does not work out. I am not sure how she will handle being unemployed again on top of losing a job that she really enjoys. If she actually enjoys it as much as we think she will. I can not imagine her being behind a camera all day and not enjoying it though.

Thanks for the input. It helps.
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Old 08-05-2009, 02:05 PM   #6 (permalink)
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I think it's very important to support her in the job she wants. I'm a wife and took the job my husband "thought" I should have about 3 1/2 years ago. Sure, I make more money and am finally using my degree, so in a sense it was a good idea. However, the job itself does not suit me and I've had to repress a lot of my own personality working in this environment. That kind of repression can really bleed into your personal life over time.
You can't protect her from the let down she will feel if she doesn't get picked later on, though your concern is touching
I would be more concerned about the long-term effects of not letting her do a career she is passionate about.
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