Financial Problems in MarriageWhen financial times are tough, it adds to the stress we deal with on a daily basis. This section is for talking about how financial problems affect our relationships and ways to cope.
I have been a SAHM for about 3 years now and for the past year, my husband has been the sole provider. I used to have my own business and I was the major bread winner. I am so tired of barely making it.
I am kinda in a catch 22 because my husband travels and has a weird schedule. If I went back to work, we will not be able to afford daycare. Then when I add the amount I would have to pay for gas to get to work, I would be in the red. And unfortunately, I do not have any family members nearby that can take care of my little ones while I am work. My mom-in-law has Parkinson's so she is not physically able and my mom does not live in the state I do. All my other relatives and friends work.
I am not used to this. Before being married, I did not have to budget. I just pay for what I needed when I needed it. I paid my bills as soon as the bills came in. Now I have to decide which bills need to be paid now and which ones will have to wait until next month or the month after that. My mortgage has not been paid for October and before being married, I was never late. Today, I have been late 8 times in the past year. When I think about all the late charges, I shudder because that could have paid a bill.
I am resentful because I feel stuck. Does anyone have any suggestions of something I can do at home? I really want to make money so I don't have to keep depending on my husband, but to contribute in my family's financial success.
You can sell your kids clothes on Ebay. I do that and it lets me buy them more clothes so our clothes budget only comes from the money I make on Ebay. It helps a lot because kids grow out of clothes fast.
Are you a good writer? If so, there are freelance writing gigs you can do on the computer from home. And not the ones where you get paid per page view, but ones where you can truly make a living.
Also, maybe you can do an in-home daycare, with just one or two kids. If you have expertise in a subject (such as cooking, dance, math, anything really), maybe you can offer classes for kids. I used to teach dance lessons in my house. It was cheaper for the parents, but the kids got more personal attention and still learned what they would have in an expensive studio.
Before being married, I did not have to budget. I just pay for what I needed when I needed it. .
Wow, you were one in a million !!! I don't know anyone who doesn't have to budget, at least on some level, even wealthy people.
Guess this is an opportunity for you, to see how most people live, which is being forced to live within their means.... or develop new skills to provide more of an income.
Even though you may not feel you have the time, you will now also have an opportunity to also not only budget your money, but your time in finding the time to get a job of some sort.
It will make you a stronger person to work through this. No doubt !
I know what you mean about not budgeting before marriage. If you live reasonably it is easy to not actually sit down and write out a budget. I used to do that...those were the days.
The only way that I can think of to help you is if you can give us an approximate amount that you spend in each category and maybe we could help you with specific areas. Also if you could list your talents and hobbies and tell us what part of the US you live in because that will impact costs.
Unfortunately, budgets are necessary when things are tight. I usually follow the rule that if it's not on sale, I won't buy it. Mostly for clothes, shoes and household items. Also, try to find someone who would be willing to give you some hand-me-downs for your children's clothes. It can save a ton of $.
Go to daveramsey.com and start using his TotalMoneyMakeover online program. It's a lifesaver.
I also would suggest taking care of other kids, at least for now, to get your bills under control. Do you have a church? Ask them to help you find parents looking for someone. That would be at least $400-$500 a month extra. And that's what I paid 20 years ago!
Oops! I hate it when I don't look at the post dates.
I am sooo not happy with our finances.
