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Navigation »Talk About Marriage »Focused Topics »Financial Problems in Marriage » It's Tough Living on the Road

Financial Problems in Marriage When financial times are tough, it adds to the stress we deal with on a daily basis. This section is for talking about how financial problems affect our relationships and ways to cope.

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Old 11-10-2009, 04:07 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Default It's Tough Living on the Road

My husband and I have been together for 6 and half years. We have 2 wonderful children, a dog, and we learned recently that we will be adding a 3rd to the ranks. My husband's job requires that he travels.. a lot! Until this year, I have always stayed at our home with the kids and dog. However due to financial stress, we had to let go of the house and I left my job and now, we all are traveling on the road together. It makes for an uncomfortable situation when everyone is cramped in a hotel room or apartment for months on end.
We have secured what we can to rent a house when it gets closer to the baby due date, but the stress, needless to say, is getting the best of us. In the past my hubby and I have always talked about things ahead of time and we have yet to get into a 'fight'. But noone is perfect and we have had our disagreements here and there. Now it seems he is starting push away from me rather than talk to me about certain things.
If I bring up any topic that is stressful or involves finances, he shys away from it and gets defensive or worse, non verbal. It has affected our sex life as well. I don't like to nag about things and I try to be sensitive and give him some downtime before I bring anything stressful up (as it needs to be discussed). But it seems anytime is a bad time to discuss finances.
In the past couple of months, he has stopped responding to me during the day and he is very moody when he gets home. Some days I just give him an hour or so after he gets home to unwind, but that is not helping his mood (in fact I think it makes it worse). If I try to coax him or give him affection, his mood will improve until the cuddling is over and then, bam, right back to the sad, moody hubby. His moodiness has even affected the kids and they ask Daddy if he is alright quite a bit.
Sex has become a non-item for the past 2 or 3 weeks, a serious drop from 4-5 times a week. We talk about it every night in bed, and every night it's either myself making an excuse or him making an excuse as to why not tonight. I feel bad when I say no, but I feel worse when he does.
On a side note, if we talk about anything other than finances or the baby coming, he is a bit more cheerful and animate in our discussions. If we talk about light hearted subjects or anything non-stressful, he becomes almost his usual self, laughing and joking about.
I know he is under a lot of stress as the only breadwinner and as such having to support a family on the road. But, I really want him to open up and talk to me. We have always talked about things in the past and I know us talking through it together would help. I also want him to understand that I feel the stress just as much as he does.
Any insight would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks for reading.
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Old 11-19-2009, 09:31 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Default Re: It's Tough Living on the Road

How many hours of the day does he work? When he comes home does he have any chores that he needs to take care of or does he just get to sit back and do nothing for the rest of the day?

Did you think about writing him a letter? When you do write, re-read it a few times around before giving it to you.

Do you blame him for anything? Have he blame you for anything?

Stress is a big factor in ruining relationships, but it looks like you are trying your very best to make this work.

ON A HAPPY NOTE: Congrads on the 3rd kid :-) How far along are you? How are you feeling with the baby in the tummy? Are you planning for a C-Section or Going natural?
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