Why are there so many "banned" posters? - Talk About Marriage
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post #1 of 83 (permalink) Old 08-06-2013, 11:07 AM Thread Starter
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Why are there so many "banned" posters?

Just an observation from a new lurker recently obsessed with this website. One thing that perplexes me is the amount of "banned" members I've seen as I work my way through some fairly high count threads. I actually see quite a few posts from banned users that seem mature, rationale and sympathetic. I know each one has it's own circumstance, but is there an issue with trolls/fake accounts, etc? I'm more curious than anything and sorry if this question is posted in the wrong forum.

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post #2 of 83 (permalink) Old 08-06-2013, 11:14 AM
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Re: Why are there so many "banned" posters?

This forum triggers many people's wounds. People are in pain and hurting. As a result they say things when triggered that are against forum rules like calling someone or their spouses derogatory names.

Other times it's just posters being offended by what someone says so they get reported. These are generally on hot topics like sex, abortion, same sex relationships, racial issues, etc. That little triangle at the bottom allows anyone to report a post they think is innappropriate.

And yes then there are the trolls. The ones who come here and make up stories, get banned, come back with a new user name, same story, banned again, etc.
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post #3 of 83 (permalink) Old 08-06-2013, 11:31 AM
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Re: Why are there so many "banned" posters?

Because they didn't follow the rules.

And yes, a lot of people get banned for trolling.
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post #4 of 83 (permalink) Old 08-06-2013, 03:42 PM
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Re: Why are there so many "banned" posters?

Considering the drama that we had lately can you moderators consider lifting some permabans?

Let's look at the whole situation:

Things got ugly, feelings got hurt, people were attacked personally and some with all the right and plus emotional feelings said things back and they get banned.

We have lost many great people lately because of the whole incident that I am afraid to mention. But look at who they are, most contributed and helped, most were very nice , and many just got angry and stood up for others and then for themselves after many unjustified attacks.

I personally feel its wrong to categorize them with the other trolls, and people who have done worse.

This site is all about reconciling, healing, forgiveness and being happy,
Can we chalk it all up as a bad experience and move on?

If you look at some of the treads all you see is newbie responses, and well some are trying to be helpful but don't have the old wisdom that some newly banned members had.

Plus, this can help bring back others who decided to leave.

Please?

Last edited by mablenc; 08-06-2013 at 04:23 PM.
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post #5 of 83 (permalink) Old 08-06-2013, 04:00 PM
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Re: Why are there so many "banned" posters?

There's a few who have told me they don't want to come back after their ban is lifted, or at least they don't want to immediately come back. It's nothing personal I think it's just that they became addicted to TAM instead of taking that final initiative in the 180 to break free from support groups and live their lives. Support groups are great for helping people who are stuck move past their issues, be they can also be just as damaging when people get stuck in a loop of regret and self analyzing.
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post #6 of 83 (permalink) Old 08-06-2013, 04:03 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Why are there so many "banned" posters?

Thanks for the response.
Yeah, this is a great website. In my short time here, I did get offended by one response I received, but shouldn't be surprised when you ask a question and a person answers.

Cheers and now off to a hopefully more productive work day!
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post #7 of 83 (permalink) Old 08-06-2013, 04:13 PM
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Re: Why are there so many "banned" posters?

As W says, "Don't ask a question unless you're ready to not like the answer."

I apply that here, if someons posts "do you think this is cheating?" and several people say yes, and one says well, maybe not, the others can tend to jump on that and carve them out. Not cool; we're all here just to share opinions and sometimes facts.

The main thing, which is in the 'prime directives' is to do no harm. We're here to help each other heal.
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post #8 of 83 (permalink) Old 03-03-2014, 07:29 PM
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Re: Why are there so many "banned" posters?

I notice a few people on this site that say "Banned" under their screen name, yet they are still on and posting. I assumed that Banned meant...no access...can someone enlighten me?
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post #9 of 83 (permalink) Old 03-03-2014, 07:44 PM
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Re: Why are there so many "banned" posters?

Hey I just noticed that Anon Pink has been whacked by the mod!

She's one of my top five favourite people on this site.

I hope it is only a temporary ban?

Concerned,
England.
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post #10 of 83 (permalink) Old 03-03-2014, 07:50 PM
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Re: Why are there so many "banned" posters?

What? She's like a staple here. Is the ban like a 2 minute minor in hockey? She has to go to the box and think about what she's done?

"You go to the box and you feel shame". Sory, Slap Shot reference.

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post #11 of 83 (permalink) Old 03-03-2014, 08:53 PM
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Re: Why are there so many "banned" posters?

Anon pink will hopefully be back.

Banning a poster doesn't remove their posts, just means they can't post anymore either temporarily or permanently.

It takes a lot to be banned permanently. And yeah, a temp-ban is like a timeout. This board doesn't show the differentiation between the two.
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post #12 of 83 (permalink) Old 03-03-2014, 09:13 PM
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Re: Why are there so many "banned" posters?

How bad does a members posts have to be to get them banned forever?

I've seen a few members get perma banned on here. I've found them on other sites whining and complaining about how they think they were still right and TAM mods are just meanies.

Or misogynist men claiming of a greater TAM feminist conspiracy against men going their own way... and being rude little trolls to everyone on TAM in the process.

I'm just curious about what it takes to get kicked off of here. I don't ever want to get booted off, but out of curiosity I would still like to know how bad members would have to be.
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post #13 of 83 (permalink) Old 03-04-2014, 04:44 AM
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Re: Why are there so many "banned" posters?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nsweet View Post

I'm just curious about what it takes to get kicked off of here. I don't ever want to get booted off, but out of curiosity I would still like to know how bad members would have to be.
It's better for the system that you don't exactly know.

This is called a policy of 'terror'.

If you don't know what you could get punished for, and it all seems a bit random, then you are more likely to behave yourself, and self-moderate. If you are told what the boundaries and limitations are, you may try all sorts of sneaky things to bend the rules without breaking them.

Reign of Terror - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Glad I could help!
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post #14 of 83 (permalink) Old 03-04-2014, 04:58 AM
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Re: Why are there so many "banned" posters?

Four letter words are common and the moderators wisely allow them to fly in altered form. This makes the language alive, which is very important for the medium
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post #15 of 83 (permalink) Old 03-04-2014, 11:39 AM
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Re: Why are there so many "banned" posters?

Generally there is a three strike rule. You break the rules bad enough that the mods make a note in your profile 3 times, the 4th time you get permanently kicked off.

We make notes on profiles with links to offending posts that the users cannot see. Most deleted and reported posts do not get a user note attached to them. Because the forum is volatile and emotional posting happens a lot---if we banned every user who did so every once in awhile we'd have no members.

Most of the mods here give users a fairly wide berth as far as banning goes. It's not going to be the one-off of heatedly calling a poster a name that gets you permanently banned--but repeatedly and increasingly doing so+creating a disturbance is going to get you noticed/noted/banned.

When it becomes flagrant and repeated, despite warnings and prior bannings, that's when people get permanently banned.


Quote:
Or misogynist men claiming of a greater TAM feminist conspiracy against men going their own way... and being rude little trolls to everyone on TAM in the process.
These people belong in the exception box: if you are here simply to rile people up, you are going to get banned pretty quickly. If you are here to pick up married people, you are going to get banned. If you cause a sh!tstorm, you are going to get banned. Spammers are the biggest amount of people in the banlist.

Also, I am a fan of open moderation. If you ever want to know why a member has been banned, feel free to IM me.
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